Based on my site’s current standings in the 2007 Weblog Awards competition for “Funniest Blog”, I wanted both of you to know that we have a covenant. I made a vow when I started this blog seven months ago, that it will always be my intent to entertain, charm, alarm, make you laugh, cry and scare you to the point of total fecal dislodgement.
With that said, I will warn you—this post in particular, just might serve as literary laxative.
The following photos were sent to me via e-mail on Halloween. I felt compelled to share them with you, but if you are ophiophobic (English Translation: snakes scare the ass off of you) discontinue reading.
Have you stopped reading?
OK, I’ll continue.
A farmer somewhere in Southern China one day realized that something amiss: he started noticing that his livestock inventory was dwindling.
A chicken or two at first, then he started noticing that he was missing goats, a lamb, two calves and one farmhand. He thought the culprit was a wolf or a lynx, a Communist or whatever two to four legged predators they have in Southern China. So, he installed the MOAEF—the Mother Of All Electric Fences.
It is an electrified fence with a electric fence as a back-up. This is serious anti-predator protection. Nothing….NOTHING would get through this fence.
And damned if it didn’t work. Apparently, in Southern China, they have great electric fences. Good thing too because the farmer had prized milk cows he needed to protect.
So old Chairman Moo wakes up one morning and goes out to check the fence about a week after he installed it and THIS is what he found.
A 12-foot Burmese Python.
I’m sorry—-make that a 12-foot Myanmarese Python.
Electrocuted after “biting” the wire.
Keep in mind that pythons are constrictors. They kill their prey by squeezing, BUT…I would think the eight scimitars that herpetologists call fangs could sufficiently do the trick.
Don’t believe me?
Get a pant load of this next photo:
As we say here in Texas: SHEEEEE—-IT!!!!!
One more thing you should know, the wires are ten inches apart.
That’s one big mouth, Valerie Plame!!!