Laurie Kendrivk

AHS: Cult. Season 7/Episode 3

This episode is called ” Neighbors From Hell” and yep, I’d say so.   More on that in a bit.

Tonight, we’re briefly introduced to a new couple.    She has a severe case of Cleithrophobia, which is a fear of being trapped in confined spaces, with a soupçon  of claustrophobia added for interest.   All this is courtesy of her sadistic father who’d lock  her into a console cabinet next to the old Curtis Mathews floor model.    He is a typical husband wanting to make love to his wife but conventional sexual positions trigger all her phobias.    Well, thanks to the same shrink Ally sees for  clownaphobia,  she’s miraculously cured, so they go home  only to be greeted by a cadre of the same creepy clowns who lock them into coffins, leaned up against the wall, with a spray painted smiley face on it.     The same smiley face on the wall of the Chang’s  house when they were murdered.   Both were neighbors of Ally and Ivy’s,

Next scene:  Ally is dealing with the trauma of having shot and killed Pedro, who arrived at their home with supplies during the blackout, which is still an ongoing problem.   A cop is there and tells her there’s a castle doctrine/stand your ground  law.    Suddenly, the power comes back on .   Apparently, the terror “attack” was just a slight terror “inconvenience”.    It’s never mentioned again for some odd reason which is typical in every AHS episode.    Dangling plotline particles everywhere.

The next scene has our Sapphic couple going back to work at their restaurant and there’s an angry mob of protestors in front of the building angered by the murder of an unarmed Hispanic man, devoted husband and father of three, obviously killed by a white entitled, racist woman.   A news reporter covering the protest calls her “the equivalent of a lesbian George Zimmerman” (The Florida security guard who was no billed after shooting Trayvon Martin).     Tragic event , but the craftily worded moniker for Ally made me laugh.

So, then the gay man and his essentially frigid wife,  the beekeeping creepies who moved in the Chsn’s murder house across the street,  knock on the front door, wearing of all things, sombreros.    Ally answers the door and is immediately berated for her white privilege which entitled her to kill a poor, unarmed Latino, who she saw (as the supposed narrative goes, a murderer, rapist and thief.

Dialog stripped straight from today’s headlines.

Now, Ivy is standing at the door taking all their vitriol. but only REALLY gets steamed when they accuse her of not being a true Progressive. Them’s fightin’ words. She starts yelling back at them they throw Taco Bell coupons at her through the screen door.      Hilarious.

She goes back to the restaurant  and Kai suddenly appears at her car window and tells her that it took courage to kill the man who for all she knew, could have been a threat to her and her family. As for the mob in front of the restaurant?   He told her not to worry, he’ll take care of them.

I guess she believes him because Ally decides to confront the protesters to assure them despite killing Pedro, she’s one of them.    They see her,  surround her car and she screams at them that they’re wrong about her, she believes as they do.   She’s ‘one of them’..     When they ignore her,  she starts cussing at them like a cranked out stevedore.     Then, Kai appears out of nowhere and the mob quietly disbands, just as he promised.

Then then there’s a Craig’s list ad placed indicating an opportunity for a white man to be fellated by a hot and wanton  lesbian couple.      Proof of this?   There’s a portly naked man who answered the add and he’s standing in their living room ready for his perverse treat.       They kick him out.    Then the whacky bee keepers give young Oz, Ivy and Ally’s son, a guinea pig which is a no no for a no pets household.    It’s due to allergies or cruelty or something.     Yet, oddly enough, Ivy is a chef and handles all the butchering at their in-restaurant butcher shop.

There’s a black truck driving slowly in front of their house, emitting a phosphorescent greenish mist.     Like the old DDT mosqito misting trucks from back in the day.    The next morning,  30 birds lay dead in their front yard.      Later on, the black truck emitting the dayglo green mist is back for a repeat performance and Ally makes like the  guy in Tienneman square and stands defiantly in front of truck which doesn’t slow down.   She jumps out of the way and is sprayed with the green stuff and breathes it in, swallows it.      Ivy comes running to her aid and Ally’s nose is bleeding.

Moving ahead for time and my carpal tunnel addled right hand,  the couple and  Oz come home from somewhere only to find a big red spray painted happy face on their front door.    They go inside, just in time to see the the new pet Guinea pig explode in a bloody burst in the microwave.    Ugh!!!    Sooooooo done to death.

Anyway, in a fit or rage, Ally runs out and straight across the street to the whacky couple’s  house accusing them of doing all the terrorizing of her family..   When they tell them about the smiley face spray painted on their door, the frigid wife looks serious and tells them that they’ve obviously  been tagged by the neighborhood killers.   They panic.   And run back home only to find a spray  painted smiley face on the side of the neighbors’ garage door.

Then, the big black trucks comes back.   This time, two men in black galley suits  suits with breathing apparati get out and start to spray their front yard with the green stuff.    Ally freaks and confronts them and demands to know who they are.    “Who Sent You?”,    She then asks if they’re  from Monsanto (the company that  weaponized the chemical defoliant,  Agent Orange used during the Vietnam War) or if they’re there at the behest of Halliburton (Dick Cheney…need I say more???)

She rips off one guy’s  mask and he’s wearing a clown face.    Too much for this clown fearin”  chick and she faints and gets dosed again with the green mist.

They call the same cop who investigated Pedro’s accidental shooting and Ally  frantically tries to convince him that the whacky neighbors are doing all the crazy shit.  Then Oz, is sent a video of Ally in the bathtub with Nanny Wynter sponging  her tenders.   Ivy understandably gets angry and grabs Oz and leaves but not before seeing the gay husband from across the street arrested for waking up next to  his wife in a pool of blood and she is needless to say, very, very dead.

Oz is missing so, they  run back in the house looking for him and blood is everywhere,  and (Surprise!!!) there’s a smiley face painted in blood, this time inside the house.   I’m assuming cop’s blood.

OBSERVATIONS:   This show is rife with left leaning or pure Liberal types from the actors down to the dishwasher in Craft Services.   I mean, this is a Hollywood production after all, but the show actually seems to be mocking the left’s overblown reaction to Trump’s win.   The paranoia, need for safe spaces, white people accusing other white people of white privilege when they both live in close proximity to each other in a lovely, upper middle class neighborhood.     It takes it even further because the gist this season, seems to be all about irrational fears as they pertain to the election, and how they’re contributing to the dissolution of what we once knew as  the comfy,  all familiar American way.

Also, the exterior  of Ally and Ivy’s home looked oddly familiar.  Well, I did some checking AND dig this—-according to the website,, the Mayfair-Richards’ home is the same one where Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) babysat Tommy Doyle for most of the movie, Halloween!!!!     And yes, the house still has the balcony above the front door, which serial killer Michael Myers flew off of after being shot by Dr. Loomis at the end of the movie.

As for Kai, who’s  a pinky clutching soul confessor , tell me your fears kind of guy,  also says “have a nice day” at the end of friendly every encounter.       If the purple haze of my youth will cut  me some slack, I do think I believe back  in the early 70’s when the smiley face was everywhere,  it was often accompanied on cards, stickers and  T-shirts with the phrase “have a nice day”.    Interesting, but probably meaningless…..maybe. .    .

Plus, it’s hilarious that clowns have all access pass keys to the homes  of every intended victim and apparently they also have stealth capabilities, along with access to knives, chemicals, video recording equipment, power tools, coffins, spray trucks, more chemicals and unlimited amounts of red spray paint.

So, who’s behind all this shenanigans just three episodes in?    Personally, I think Ivy  possesses a little sociopathy inside that head of hers, plus her body type fits the petite lady clown.    Ans then there’s the  shrink.  He knows all all his all clients phobias (as does Kai for that matter).   So, yeah, I think Ivy  and the shrink are behind it all.

And maybe Paul Ryan, too.