The biggest kick in the figs has got to be emotional deflation.
*When you realize the love of your life never existed; when you wake up bored and the boredom doesn’t leave or boredom doesn’t have the decency to allow you to sleep.
*When you hate your job to the point of throwing up….begotten arriving, during the course of the day, or three hours after you’ve gotten home that afternoon. Doesn’t matter emotions like propelled vomit doesn’t abide by time.
*When you feel powerless when you thought you were so damn powerful.
*When it clicks in your head that your marriage is a mistake; when you realize someone you’ve admired for years and years is a shallow hint of who they really are. You see the facade as the facade. No one can take away the embarrassment of being fooled by aluminum siding.
*When you realize that little man behind he curtain is really the Great and Powerful Oz.
“Never meet your heroes.”
And if you do, make sure it’s a brief and shallow encounter. Don’t get to know them.
CASE IN POINT:
I met a comedian 20 yea s ago. It was the mid-90’s and her star was on the rise She was marketed as the next IT girl in the world of funny. And funny, she was. The ‘be-flanneled’ aand tattooed Gen-X’ers of the period told me so. And the mighty advertising dollar gave them that power to know, discern, to mandate.
So, she begs me to attend her gig on the main stage of the big comedy venue in town. She does 48 minutes of the most perfectly extemporaneous comedy ever written. Her execution was flawless, just as it has been on her HBO special and in LA and Chicago and Montreal. The red light above the stage attracts her eye; her contractual hint to wrap up, which she does and them cones the payoff. She swallows the applause like sustenance. Adoration equaled adulation. The organism is short lived, when the performance adrenaline gives way to feelings, real or insgibed.
Instead of meeting with the club owner or any of her handlers, she walks straight up to me, demanding in no uncertain terms, that I relay to her how funny she was and if I laughed, when I laughed and would I please describe the frequency AND the decibels with which any guffaw might have spewed forth.
Neediness is possibly the most unnatrati e trait in all humanity. I know–I’ve looked at it in the mirror and stared at it face to face.