New Year Doldrums

The unrest in the Middle East can keep a news cycle hopping. Genocide and atrocities can too, but if those things don’t happen in countries with which we ate allies? Forget about it. Not sure why, where things happen lack a certain news ‘wow’ factor. So from now until March, with a slight increase around Valentine’s Day, as long as the Middle East continues to implode, there will be a few headlines, but other than that…..yawn.

So to entertain myself, I’ll go after the things that irk me. The ones I call the periphery people who saw a celebrity at the same restaurant and insists they had dinner with this away with person. Under the same roof, doesn’t equal being at the same table.

I’d love to be able to say that as I type, I have opera on the old stereo as I sip a humble chai tea while thumbing through the most recent reports on NATO troop movement.

But I can’t. Mainly, because that would be a lie. That’s not who I am. That’s not who I even want to be. I wonder if that could even describe a handful of people and if that’s who they are, surely they’re confident, or at least too self possessed to tell anyone about it.

I dropped out of Facebook because of all the puckered red lip selfies. Celebrating a good hair day or finally locating the right concoction that would almost cover the four facial moles, with eight hairs protruding from them. I dropped out because of all the bullshit lies piled up on FB like a virtualstockyard. I was smellin’ through their spellin’.

You’ve seen the pitiful offerings:

“I’m so in love. These very carefully selected photos of us together and happily posed ought to irk that bitch ex wife of his”

“Aww, he went to Jared’s”

“Look, we’re better than you. WE’RE traveling abroad this winter”

“See How gorgeous my children are. Or DNA co mongked so much better than yours”

“Look what a great mom I am……what a great dad he is”

“I re-post nifty sayings and memes from authors and noted thinkers to make it seem I’m so smart and so together”

“Trump”

“Hillary”

Narcissism has been given a green light to run amuck. Thanks Zuckerberg and that Napster guy.

Instagram? Some kind of cracker, right? Twitter? The sound a bird makes for $20, Alex.

Tumblr. Used to be a shatterproof cup for the clumsiest of families. It also described ‘one who tumbled’.

I’m a middle aged, chubby woman currently with a bad hair cut. If I have good days, I keep them to myself because they’re private and frankly, rare in occurrence. So, why share?

I think we share too much this days, we give away our souls. I used to do that…..give away everything….right here on this blog as well as professionally. I was clueless as to what boundaries really meant. They exist as s protective coating. Not impenetrable, we have to fortify them for that. And then again, being impervious isn’t all that fun either.

So forgive me if I don’t care if you feel like quoting Camus today. I don’t believe you can make up for the lack of a formal education by wishing Saliere a belated birthday. If Ptolemy is your fave ancient know-it-all, I’m not sure anyone cares but you.

If you quote Heidegger one minute, then start cooing like a seventh grader over the latest Taylor Swift or Frankie Avalon song, it’s all for naught, honey. That falls flat, lacks ooomph. Be consistent.

Impress us with some throat singing from the Mayanmar Three or a little Wagner beyond KILL D’ WABBITT!!!!!

Next up: FOX News, Donald Trump and consultants…of any kind.

One comment

  1. Laurie, it so great to see you in print. Hope you and your family are doing well. Miss corresponding with you.

    Tim(Timmy) D.

And now, you may opine your ass off...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s