Funny Halloween Costumes 2012: Version 5.0

This blog turned five this past March and in the weeks prior to  just about every Halloween since its inception, I’ve published a post about strange and funny and yes, lewd Halloween costumes.

Sure, its easy to wear a t-shirt that says costume o slip on a white bikini with a prominently placed red cross and go as a naughty nurse.  It’s even easy to stick purple or green balloons to your torso and call yourself a bunch of grapes, but I’m talking about those really  creative costumes that requires thought, planning and structural engineering.   Yeah,  some you can order from a catalog or get at one of those overpriced Halloween stores that miraculously appear every late September in all the old Pier One buildings, but the best costumes are the ones designed on the home drawing board.

I always try my best to peruse the web, so you don’t have to.  So, feast your eyes on a post containing  photos of the strangest, most different and hilarious Halloween costumes.   Some are oldies but goodies–new entries will kick things off–but others are, rehashed for your viewing and reading pleasure for yet another Halloween.


Let’s kick things off with the ULTIMATE pair of boobs.

And on that note, the ULTIMATE Google logo.

Because OJ, Chuck Manson, Michael Meyers,  Jason, Freddie Krueger and murderous tainted steroid injections are so, so…yesterday.

Ted Williams

Eye sore or ice scream?   Both are painful.

The annoying Travelocity Gnome

What a tiny spigot!!!

A big ‘ol bag o’Jelly Beans

I’ll take a Jeopardy contestant for $200, Alex!!

An up and coming quarterback

Uh…I’m not even sure how to caption the next photo.

As a rule, I usually loathe pet costumes on any occasion–especially dogs in tiaras and tutus, but these next couple of photos are butched up enough to be rather funny

Fido as Lloyd Bridges on the set of “Sea Hunt”

A quadruped iPhone

Who can take the British?   Bring them to their knees?  Pacify resistors and some curry if you please, the Gandhi Man…oh the Gandhi Man can


A douche bag

The late, great artist, Bob Ross and his Happy Little Tree…Remember the soothing, golden voiced (audible Xanax) painter fella on PBS?

A Hitler child.    Or perhaps it’s a Himmler…or it is a Herler????  The kid in the pic looks like the child actor who played Damian in “The Omen”

A damsel in distress, tied by the villain, to the train tracks.  Woe is all of us!!!!

Ah yes, the classic Halloween bag of weed…nothing scary about this, other than the price he might have paid for one of the biggest lids known to man.

(PS…do they still call bags of weed “lids”???)

The wishing granting arcade game from the movie, “Big”.  Impressive attention to detail

Big Pharma…Candian Style

Cheerful counter service at the diner


Cock Block…get it???

Very clever.

I really don’t want to think about where the head of the guy bringing up the rear in this centaur costume below.   God, can you imagine?   And this paunchy blond man with the stringy blond locks looks like he can really sweat in all the damnedest places .

I AM Iron Man!!!

Not sure what this ↓ costume is exactly or how this guy put it on, but I have a feeling this guy is gonna need a Moil to get it off.

Baywatch has a new lifeguard to add to its bevy of ‘hot’ water rescuers this Halloween.  Meet “Anita Waxing”.   Wow…a Halloween merkin!!!!!

As strange as this costume is, it consists of five people.  It is a partial hand…or rather, five fingers.    Complete with knuckles, those white, half moon shaped lunulasd this, cuticles and ruffles skirts.  Observe  the wedding ring.

An oldie, but goodie

Wendy has tats on her left arm.   Wonder if it reads, “Hot AND Juicy”???

Spy vs. Spy.   What??????  Not familiar to you?   Ask mom or dad to explain MAD Magazine to you, then show them this.   They’ll laugh.

How to use Halloween to come out to your parents without saying a single word

A stink bug

This is a repeat from the several years.  It’s fabulous in it’s simplicity.  All I ask is that you have the bod to pull this off.

Otherwise, behold..the ULTIMATE sausage pizza!!

You gotta love the committment in this one!!!

I think this one is brilliant!!!

Dr. Octogon from “Spiderman”.   Clever.  Optimus Prime, maybe?   Sorry, I never saw the movie

Yes, scary costumes at Halloween can often make frightened children seek shelter by embracing the waist and groinal region of Padres.   There’s safety there!!!!

Tippi Hedren from the movie, “The Birds”.

The iconic scene depicting  Lloyd Dobbler and HIS HUGE 80’s boom box which is playing “In Your Eyes” for a resting brainiac and daddy’s girl, Diane Court from the 80’s movie, Say Anything 

I have a feeling mom’s choice of a natural delivery will not end well.    She will literally, never be the same.

Of course, I MUST insert the obvious joke here….”Trick or Teat!!”

The Old Spice Guy…very three years ago.

A penny for your thoughts, Copper??

I guess this is a Facebook Farmville costume, but I’m not really sure.   I don’t think the wearer is either

Anyone remember the great movie, “Mask”?   It’s about Rocky Dennis, a young man born with Craniodiaphyseal Dysplasia, an extremely rare, disfiguring, sclerotic bone disorder.  The movie starred Cher and Eric Stoltz as Rocky.

Well, I hate to admit this, but I took one look at this completely tasteless costume and burst out laughing.  Having seen the movie several times, I knew who the costume was an homage to the minute I laid eyes on it.

I’ve included a photo of Eric Stoltz in character (full make-up, too) just to hammer home the resemblance.    Good lord!!

I found these pants for sale at a costume website.  Yes, this is an actual costume.  You can either go as Mr. Poopy Pants….OR…..Incontinence Man.    The choice is yours.

Scary Missing Child On The Back of A Milk Carton Man

A very trapped groom.

A little butterball

An ostrich jockey????  Seriously.   Is there such a beast?   Granny Clampett rode one once in an episode of “The Beverly Hillbillies”.   There you go.

The Firefox logo

I’m assuming this is a typical scene from Mike Judge’s old FOX animated show, “King of The Hill”

And finally, if you’re really broke, take a tip from Picasso and Ed Gein and pull out several different face shots in full-page ads in various magazines.  Cut them up; place the various parts from different faces on your face–I don’t know, use tape or glue or spit, then go to your party as a scary guy or gifted actor, Steve Buscemi’s much uglier brother

The ultimate camel toe, complete with a posse.  I SAID POSSE!!!

A real by God illegal alien

I was always under the impression there were no eyes in Halloween????

And last but not least, Zipper Face

A resounding BRAVA on this costumed effort.  Someone’s good with the Maybelline.

So, there you go…my annual homage to All Souls Day Costume-A-Rama.

Happy Halloween, ya’ll.

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