It’s Wednesday: Now What Do I Do???

A baby has been a symbol of the new year for as long as I can remember.   It represents the newness of the year.  Nice symbol.    Cute and cuddly but silly.  It tends to make us think that time can actually be looked upon as a wall that we began building at midnight 1/1/11 and then finished, by putting the  final brick at 11:59 pm 12/31/11.  It would be lovely to think of the year you just lived as this solid mass….conveniently segmented  in its 365 day entirety.    And if we could see the past like that, would it make a difference???

If I look back on 2011, it consisted of the same old, same old…only with the last three months made more interesting, thanks to a little hour-long show on F/X.

For the past  12 Wednesday nights, I’d sit here at my desk;  a dying 32 inch  Panasonic TV assembled during the waning months of the Clinton administration blaring in front of me, teasing me with images from one of the most addictive TV shows I’ve ever encountered.  

American Horror Story was like visual crack for me.   I was hooked in the first few minutes–well before  the first bat wielding red-headed twin entered the evil basement of the  home  we’d soon affectionately know as “Murder House’.

I loved my Wednesday nights.    I’d watch Ghost Hunters on SyFy until  9 pm…then AHS…then at 10pm, I’d switch back to SyFy for a repeat of the Ghost Hunters or  “Fact or Faked” show that I missed at 9.   Or, if the AHS episode was particularly compelling and/or complex OR….my TV went dark at a relevant point or action, I’d watch the encore presentation.

Then I’d sit here at my desk and write about it.

And you’d come here and read my drivel.

How I miss those days.  

I’m not sure I was ever a geek or dweeb in High School.  I was lucky (I guess)  to be just co-dependent enough to get along with everyone–the popular kids, the jocks, the  band nerds, the shit kickers/rednecks and the stoners and the strange, poet types who were caught in a no man’s land somewhere  between brilliance and revolt/arrogance and brazen but awkward self-consciousness. 

 But for 12 weeks from mid October to mid-December, I was the biggest nerd of all.   I sat here, on my throne… laptop served as  my scepter and I reigned supreme while  wearing a  thorny  crown of pocket protectors and horned rimmed glasses.

Now that it’s all over, I’m the Baroness of Boredom.

The period right after Christmas through late January is my least favorite time of the year.  It’s the doldrums.   When you work in news, it’s the WORST time because save for the murders at drunken New Year’s Eve parties…the post Christmas “Damn, my bills are through the roof” robberies and carjackings, nothing really happens.  At least, nothing newsworthy.

F/X picked a helluva time to end season one and as ridiculously as it ended.  I don’t care what anyone says, it was lame.   It reminded me of vacationing in Germany in my early teens.   Everywhere we went, there were stunning pastries.  Decorated with a precise beauty and symmetry.  Prettiest things I ever saw.

Worst things I ever tasted.   

Every bite from every dessert…from the North to Bavaria tasted like frosted cardboard.   Apparently Teutonic bakers are stingy with the sugar in everything that’s not strudel. 

I wanted more from AHS.  I wanted a far more complex psychological brain screw from Brad and Ryan.  I wanted to shake my head in DISbelief….not DISgust.

Anyway, crying about it now is spilled milk…and all that that implies.   I’ll get over the insulting ending..probably in February when the creators announce the new cast and location for Season 2.

Here’s what I pilfered from the Chicago Sun Times:

The second season will feature some new and returning faces, but the story of Ben (Dylan McDermott), Vivien (Connie Britton) and Violet Harmon (Taissa Farmiga) ­— who all perished and joined the legion of the undead in the house — has concluded.“Every season of the show will be a different haunting,” Murphy said. “What you saw in the finale was the end of the Harmon house, and the second season of the show will be a brand new home or building to haunt. Just like this year, every season of the show will have a beginning, middle and an end.” Murphy noted he would have the entire cast back in a heartbeat and that were they to return, they would not be playing the leads of the show. Murphy noted that he’s in negotiations with “a handful” of actors from the series to return for the sophomore season of the FX drama — but playing new characters.

If Jessica Lange wins the major awards for which she’ll no doubt nominated, you can bet you bottom “horror” she’ll be back.   Probably not as Constance, but let’s hope it’ll be a character equally as skewed and mean and prejudiced.   You have to admit, she made bigotry kind of cute in and an insular sort of way. 

We can also count on a theme change.  Season One was all about  infidelity.  If the writers are going to sift  through the seven deadlies, they’ve got six more equally engrossing sins from which they can choose and from which wonderful ghostly plotlines can be cobbled.    It’s also my understanding that there  supposedly plenty of ‘clues”  in the last three episodes that should indicate where the next haunted location will be.

Oh really??????     I’m still trying to figure out what in the hell the clues “cello” and “red cello” meant in the first season. 

This “broadcast one season,  then switch to something altogether different”  modus operandi the norm in the UK and also in Mexico.    In the country just south of our border, their soap operas end.  British programming has defined beginning, middles and ends, too.  The Brits kill off main characters all the time (yet somehow, Graham Norton is still alive???!!??)   Personally,  I don’t see anything wrong with American episodic TV resorting to this.   It’ll keep things fresh and any character from an Erika Kane existence.  

 Lastly, the new year is upon us…or will be in a matter of days.  I am, for the first time in a long time–maybe for the first time ever, rather nonchalant about the coming year.  I used to be hopeful…even optimistic about the opportunities it will bring.  

I’m not this time…and perhaps that just might be the best harbinger of good things…EVER.

I hope yours in safe and happy and rife with wonderful possibilities.

I hope your heart soars and your mind swells…and not in a encephalitic way.  

You know, with knowledge and curiosity.

I hope love finds you and you find it.

I wish you patience and tolerance.

I want joy for you and yours.

I hope you get to know a priest and exorcise more. 

I also hope the Mayas just ran out of room after December 21, 2012 on that rock calendar carving thing of theirs.

Happy New Year, ya’ll.      

And I bestow that wish upon you,  courtesy of Time.   As you can see, over the past year, Baby 2011 and has grown into a literate and artistic third grader with a love of chalk boards and comfy, turquoise Nike mules.

What a year it was…..and what a year it could have been.


  1. Hi Laurie,
    You can’t have had the right pastry in Germany – even if I don’t know how that could have happened, given that these delicious AND SWEET items are available at every bakery. Well, nearly every. Maybe you need to go over to Germany again and try them again. Sorry I can’t send you any when I’m there or bring soem with me. German pastry is clearly one of the things I miss most here, besides bread rolls and smoked sausage [Raeuchermettwuerstchen, that is].
    Best regards from Karnes City,
    Hey Pit…Hate to disagree with you but German pastries were rather tastelesss. Lovely to look at but bland and barely sweet and we traveled through the country fair extensively. Then again, I’m more of a fan of savory stuff, but every once in a while, someething sweet tempts me, but German pastries just didn’t do it for me.

    Best sausage and pretzels unt brötchen though. Loved the beer, too…even at 13!!!!

    Happy New Year,

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