THEE Wedding: Blogging Live

Good morning.   London calling.  I’m Laurie Kendrick, reporting from my desk in Houston, about all the nuptial events happening in Ol’ Blighty.   I’m hardly dressed for the occasion and the only thing covering my head is hair.   I’ve already seen some interesting hats which is quite customary at British weddings…the bigger and more outrageous the better…although I hear you’re not supposed to out do the bride.

The purpose of this coverage is my basically for my own vanity.  I slept through Diana’s wedding back in ’83 and didn’t want to miss her boy’s nuptials.   Oh and if anyone is joining me this morning, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll reply here in the body of the post.

The ceremony is 20 minutes from kicking off.  If you’re watching the festivities this morning, you’re one of an estimated two billion people who are doing the same thing.   Like so many others this morning, I’m looking forward to seeing Kate’s dress.   

OK, the Beckhams have arrived.   David looks HOT, something I’ve never thought before.   He cleans up nicely.  All those tats covered up.    What’s with the German Iron Cross looking medallion that he’s sporting on his coat?   Has he been knighted??    His wife, Victoria is there too looking thin and wearing a hat with a two foot long squiggly skewer pierceing it.   

And I just saw Diana’s brother, Earl Spencer.    Interesting.    The 46 year old looks amazingly like his father.  Even more so since gaining some weight.  He’s also engaged.  The future Mrs. Earl looks as if Mr. Earl eats a great deal of her meals.  I’m surprised to see him at the wedding.  I would imagine what he said at his sister’s funeral 14 years agos didn’t sit well with “those who wear crowns”.

Elton John and his wife/husband David just arrived.   Eerie to think that the last time we saw him at Westminster Abbey, he was singing a funeral durge for Diana.  Wonder where Diana would be seated if she were alive today?    Wonder if she would’ve been invited?

So, I hear Fergie wasn’t invited.   I would imagine she’s watching this morning.   Don’t you know she’s screaming at the TV, “DON’T DO IT!!!!  RUN!!!!   HEAD WEST, KATE…HEAD WEST!!!!!!!”

Is it just me or this an awfully ‘white’ wedding?????   Entering the Abbey are just a few heads of state with melanin in their skin and more than likely, they’re either heads of  countries in the Commonwealth….or hired help.   

Kate’s car has arrived to pick her up at the nearby Goring Hotel.    I hear the Royal family is en route from Buckingham Palace and Clarence House.   

I just saw the seating arrangements.  The Spencer family is far from the front of the Abbey.   Still some bad blood between the Spencers and the Windsors.   Gee, I’d hate to see where they would have been seated if they’d ridden a bus to the church.

Watching from afar along with Fergie this morning will be President Obama and wife.    Nicholas Sarkozy and wife won’t be attending either.  They weren’t invited.  That has to be a snub, especially for Mr. and Mrs. O.   But the deal is this wedding isn’t  an actual “state function” since Willian isn’t directly in line to the throne.  He’d need to whack his father Chuck for that “honor”.  

Well, well there’s the beaming bridegroom now.  Stepping out of Clarence House looking awfully dapper.   Actually, both of the Brothers Windsor look good.   In their lmilitary regalia.   One of them is s weraing red.  They’re in a car.     Gold is DRIPPING off both of them.   It looks like they’re drapped in Christmas tree tinsel.

Okay, so it’s William is in red.  He apparently had a choice of which uniform to wear and he chose the red one…same color red, it seems as the palace guards.    They’re all buttoned up and gloved…waving to the crowds which by the way, seem large, but not as large as those that crowded the streets for his Mum and Dad’s wedding in ’83.     William looks happy…not at all pensive or tight assed as his Dad looked did all those years ago.    Knowing what we now know about that farcical affair, he did seem miserable looking didn’t he?  

Wow, listen to tall thsoe bells.    They’re exiting the car.  Willim in red with a lovely blue sash.  His brother is in a black uniform, dripping with gold all over him.   Hell, he looks like he could play for the Saints.

While they look dapper,  I have to say,  God, William is balding  to an incredible degree and Harry is looking very Hewitt-ish today.

Hi Richard.   Welcome and thanks for joining me so early.  No tea or coffee.   We should be going ‘con la honda’ and drinking Corona this morning.   It does mean ‘crown’ after all, you know.    How’s Lee Ann?

I rather like how the Brothers Windsor arrived in a car.  When Diana and Charles got married, they did so in a carriage.     Very fairy tale like.  There is a definite touch of modernity to this wedding and in some ways, I wish it were a little more stories…then again, the marriage of Charles and Di didn’t turn out very fairy tale like did it?    More like something out of the Brothers Grimm.  

OK, the Mrs.  Middleton is en route with James, Kate’s brother who’ll be reading something during the ceremony….only in front of two billion people.   Wonder if the Royal Dr. Feelgood slipped him a Xanax or two.    

Wonder if Kate is nervous?     Can you imagine marrying into THAT family?     I mean, Kate a commoner and like Loretta Lynn in some ways…very much a coal miner’s great grandaughter.

Mrs.  Middleton just stepped out of the car in gray and a large brim hat.    The son and brother  James is in a morning coat and looking fine.  His sister Pippa will be the Maid of Honor.   I’ve seen both siblings.  Apparently, Kate is indeed the pick of the litter in terms of Middleton progeny.

Fergue and Andrew’s daughters are arriving with the lesser tier of Royals.   The Duke and Duchess of Whatever; Viscount Whoever and Lord and Lady W-T-F.   They all arrived by what the Brits call ‘a coach’.  To us, it’s a bus.  These are lowly relatives, but Royals and Blue Bloods nonetheless…some can boast being 384th in line to the throne.

Now, I can see that Prince Charles is now en route….you can hear the crowd screaming for him, while horses whinney for his wife.

Princesses Beathrice and Eugenia just exited thire car is what looks like rabbit ears on top fo their hats.   Hellacious.  Hideous.

Princess Anne, the Princess Royal  is wearing a purple hat.   Queen Liz and Phil are now arriving.  She’s wearing a vibrant yellow and Phillip, now almost 90, is a vision in red.   There’s a bet permeating the halls in Britian which is placing odds on whether the guy will fall asleep in the middle of the ceremony.

 Charles and Camilla are now enterting the Abbey.  He’s gussied up in a uniform…she’s wearing a bridle.

It’s traditional in England for the wedding party to consist of children.   I wondered about that dyuring Diana’s wedding.   If any Brits are reading along this morning, please explain.

Kate just entered the car with Daddy.  The dress is white and lacey…V neckline….doesn’t look all merangue like.   Her face is veiled.   There is a train but I don’t think it will be anything like that 563 foot monstrosity Diana wore.  She’s waving to the crowd.    She looks happy under all that illusion and by that I mean the sheer veil.   I hope that’ not a metaphor.     I sincerely hope she remains that way. 

She is wearing a tiarra..very simple…like the kind a beauty queen would wear.   She looks lovely.  Sister Piooa is a bridesmaid and young attendantts wrangler.  She’s wearing a lovely dress with a cowl neckline…she looks lovely, too.  Amazingly thin.  

Bitch. 

The pageboys are in red uniforms, the girls are in white.  She just escorted them in the Abbey and it was a truly lovely sight.

And there she is….understated…tasteful…Kate looks lovelyu…maybe an eight foot train beign carried in by her sister, Pippa.    I like this woman.   I really do.   The sun popped out the minute she walkedinto the Abbey.  Good omen.

That’s it for me…a royal wrap up and review of this ultimate Windsor knott, a little later on

Mozoltov Kate and Wills. 

.

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