Queen Kate

I don’t remember when I first learned this woman existed.   I suppose I heard something about her dating Prince William a few years ago and even then, I really didn’t take much notice. 

It’s true…I am something of an Anglophile but in the past 25 years, the British royal family has done little to keep me interested.  We’re talking about all their crazy ass shenanigans.  Public pool side toe sucking  caught on a Polaroid.   Striking deals to reach a big pay day for a meet and greet with Prince Andrew.  A divorce here….an affair there.   I rather got tired of royals in general.  When Princess Stephanie of Monaco spat out her fourth bastard child from a carnival banker, I decided the royals were really nothing more than Euro trash with decent bank accounts and access to castles.   

But all this impending royal wedding hype has renewed my interest–in as much as I will allow it to interest me.   I find the future Mrs.Windsor intriguing.  

What I’m about to espouse here is just my opinion and my opnion only.   I didn’t know Princess Diana and Kate Middleton and I don’t exactly run in the circles.   So, this is all based on my observations from a world away. 

Kate Middleton is undeniably pretty.  She’s young and coltish.   That means thin, among other things.  I would imagine she has a metabolism that could smelt Tungsten.

I get the feeling that Kate is an active girl and rarely sloths around on the couch doing nothing but watching bad British morning TV, eating bad British bon-bons and kvetching about her British puffy arse, due to water weight gain.

She seems very much alive.   By that I mean, there’s much life in her eyes.   You can tell she’s seen things, done things, known things.  Life experience contributes much to their sparkle.   

Her late mother-in-law, Diana was lovely too, but in a less sophisticated, homespun way…at least initially.   Diana had to get savvy quickly.   And with the exception of her bulimic years, she learned when dealing with the royal family and the relentless press that hounded her that it was eat or be eaten. 

In the beginning, Diana was shy and reserved.   A mere child, really.  She had no formal education.   Well-heeled British girls with  blue blood lines back in the l;ate 70’s didn’t have to go to University.   She was formally ‘finished’ in Switzerland and really, knowing which fork to use at a formal dinner and how to enter and exit a car was really all the education she would need. 

And it showed.

 This is a photo of Diana in the months before her wedding to Prince Charles.

She looks sweet, innocent and unassuming.   Mainly because she was.   A virgin in every sense of the word.  There’s almost a certain vapidity in her eyes.   I wouldn’t imagine that Diana was bothered by a plethora of deep thoughts and concepts.  

Not that Kate is necessarily a student of  Dionysian Classicism, or Nietzsche’s Appropriation of an Aesthetic Norm, but she did matriculate collegiately and she and Wills lived together during that time and yes, because of that,  I think it’s safe to assume they’ve soiled a few royal sheets in their time.   Kate looks wanton. Fearless.   Tiger-ish. 

In other words, she seems “Camilla Proof”.     That happened to Diana, probably won’t happen to her.

 And for a myriad of reasons.  To me, Diana seemed far more simple, to the point of being complex.   She had emotional issues, which Diana openly admitted.  

If Kate has any problems at all, she hides them well.   She seems solidly emotionally fortified….or medicated.  Her smile, energy and public poise effortlessly cover any flaws, real or imagined.   She’s comfortable it seems in her own skin, regardless of where she takes said skin…whether it’s in front of crowds, heads of state.. on foreign soil.  And the paparazzi seems to love her.   And while she too might be hounded some day, I don’t think we’ll see the public meltdowns we did with Diana.   Kate just seems far more worldly;   more  level headed and self-actualized.

It’s being said that even with two weeks before the royal nuptials at London’s Westminster Abbey on April 29th, Kate  is already posting Diana-type numbers in terms of news worthiness and celebrity status on top global media sites as well as the Internet and social media.   Fashion-wise, she’s already leaps and bounds above Diana at the same pre-marital stage 3o years ago.  Sure, Google and BING help.

In the months and weeks before Diana was married, her version of dressing up was dressing dowdy,  a frumpy British version of Ethel Mertz but with less bum.  From the moment she became engaged to Prince Charles, her image was very traditional and very British and that meant terribly buttoned up and stodgy.   She was often criticized for dressing older than her years.  I agreed.  I thought she dressed more like the Queen Mother.

At times,  more like Prince Phillip.

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Now to be fair, this was Diana’s style 30 years ago and additionally, Diana got married at a much younger age.  She was barely 20 years old when she and Charles tied the knot in1981.     Kate will be 30 before celebrating her first anniversary as an official “royal”.    Nine years in age and 30 years on the calendar makes a difference.

A big difference.  

Sorry, but Kate’s style is truly more defined than Diana’s ever was.   Even after  the fashion experts at Vogue and Elle got a hold of Diana and held Mr. Blackwell’s mirror of shame up to her closet.  Diana eventually made tremendous fashion inroads, but still she could never pull off the things Katie can.

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In my opinion, Kate simply wears it all so much better than Diana did.      

While Diana will always be wildly popular among the global masses,  I do believe her daughter in law will eventually eclipse her.  In style for sure, possibly even in popularity.  If that happens, it would be partly due to  attrition.  Diana has been dead for 14 years and also because Kate’s the new flavor of the month and will be for many months to come.  I don’t foresee her being harassed and harangued by the world press  as Diana was;  something I think sadly, tragically, Diana brought on herself, in some ways.   Well, you have to admit she was the first significant catch caught in the royal marital chute of that generation of British royals (did anyone really care who or what Princess Anne married????).   That  made Diana a relentless media target.   Plus, she ran from photographers and would cry and make deals with newspaper bosses to call off the hounds.  I think that only made matters worse.  The more she ran, they closer they followed.  I would imagine that Kate would be more accessible  and far less media manic and far more media savvy. 

As for the royal wedding, the couple has elected to ride in a car to the ceremony instead of taking a traditional equine drawn carriage to the Abbey.    Guess that’s  a better idea.   Wouldn’t want Prince Charles to get all excited and start dating one of the horses.

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And now, you may opine your ass off...

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