It’s About Time

As in, this is what this blog post is about….time. 

Experts argue about the nature of time; what it is and what it isn’t.   Some claim that it’s merely an illusion.    Others say it’s real.  It certainly feels real to me, but I will agree with the “others” who say that time isn’t at all linear; that it  moves in a circular pattern and in interweaving loops.  Imagine if you will a big, heaping plate of this  →

Right now, my life feels like just that plate of spaghetti.   The beginning of this mass o’carbs and sauce is somewhere in there, as is the ending, but both aren’t obvious unless you get in the pile and root around some.  That’s when you realize that the pile is comprised of several individual pasta noodles.   The parts create the sum.

Life is one of those sum total deals, too and a part of my life, it seems, one that I thought I’d dealt with and placed on a back burner on a stove in another kitchen in a remote city that I will never visit again,  is  back  like some recurring nightmare.

When I was a teenager and throughout my 20’s mainly, I thought I had the world figured out.  I thought I knew all the answers and was arrogant as hell about it.  No one could tell me a damn thing.  I was right and they were wrong.  Emphatically so.   I sat in self-appointed  judgement of people and their actions and didn’t have the emotional or perhaps at the time, the intellectual bandwidth,  to allow myself to have any empathy for anyone else and their situations.   He wasn’t good enough; she was a bitch.   I offered few any quarter.   I made mistake after mistake and was cavalier about it.   I could afford to be cavalier;  I arrogantly believed I had time.

But what I learned was that  time is incredibly elusive.   And  when we say something or even think something, if it’s heinous enough,  once those things are out there in the ether or in someone’s psyche, we can’t take them  back.  They become part of a most inflexible history.    And that’s the only occasion when time stands still…when it has passed.  Oddly enough, time becomes frozen in time…the memories of a day, a mood, an outfit; an expression.   Your memories are permanent and unchanging and that makes the past the only thing in life that’s truly static.  While we can’t change history,  we DO  have the power to alter the future at any given point in our lives and that’s a glorious thing.     What we don’t realize but should, either because of immaturity or arrogance…or both…is that every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.  That’s what I mean by saying or doing things we’ll regret.   Time matters not if it’s in the past but if it’s tinged with the stain of regret, a thought or action, then it resonates with an amazing staying power in the  ephemeral world of forever.

It’s easy to feel self-righteous and be a sanctimonious ass when you think you’re right and everyone else isn’t.   It’s easier for the pious to live in an imperfect glass house and throw stones all around you with aim and precision.    But try remembering that when karmic retribution pays a visit and suddenly you’re suffering the slings and arrows that you’ve aimed in someone else’s direction.   That’s when you realize that it’s so much easier to be the judge  and the  jury.   There’s that moment of clarity that reminds you how unpleasant it is to be on the receiving end.    These are barbed weapons that inflict pain and untold damage. 

Just as you intended them to hurt when you fired them at will at an earlier time.

I will be 52  in April.   That means I’ve lived long to have a much better understanding how the world works, but not long enough to know that I have a healthy respect for  my ignorance on the subject.   But in all those years, I’ve learned one thing:  that  the world is like a big car  we drive.   Free will is the fuel.   We stop when we want; accelerate when we want, slow down when we feel like it.  We idle when we must.  We’re in control.   That said, I’ve read enough on the subject of Wicca and basic spirituality to wrap my head around a few tenets.    Ever heard of the  Three-Fold Law???     Having been on the receiving end of this more times than I care to admit,  I have come to believe that this is one of the essential threads of the universe;  the fabric of which life is made.

The Three-Fold Law is a principle understood in many spiritual traditions in various forms:

  • What you give out comes back to you 3 times (or more depending on your beliefs)
  • What you do to others will be done to you

In essence, what you dole out  returns to you, and it’s multiplied three-fold.    And this pertains to both the good and the bad.   The wonderful, charitable stuff you do and also the judgemental and underhanded throw-people-under- the- bus crap you do, too.   And trust me,  when your negative actions come back to bite you in the butt,  they come back with a vengeance.  They’re bigger than Dallas AND when you least expect and certainly,when you don’t need them heading your way.

But as I’ve said, you have control of this because the world is exactly what we – what all of us – make it.  It’s the sum total of what we each allow our thoughts and feelings, our speech and actions to be. You are in command of all these.  It’s your choice.  

That means the world is your creation.  It’s making is entirely your responsibility.

So, think before you speak and before you act.   Let the knowledge that a much worse karmic payback awaits you be what it takes to hold a civil tongue.   

And  if by chance you think what I’ve said in this post is too Pagan or too witchy for your tastes, let me put it in those nice,  familiar and acceptable Judeo/Christian terms:  the distance one must travel when one gets off ones high horse without any help,  is far and the landing invariably, hurts.


Rember this….next time.



  1. You scare me sometimes, LK. You write about things that are going on in my life. I’m always tempted to look in closets or in the backseat of my car to see if you’re lurking there with a steno pad taking notes.

    This post is brutal in its realness for me. We’re having a family issue right now and the key to solving it is thinking before we speak, but we don’t do that. We are a passionate people. Drama, drama, drama. Emote first and deal with it later. What’s sad is what you’ve written about that we don’t know the damage we do when we act without thinking of the consequences. I have dabbled in Wicca in my twenties and got into it enough to know enough about it and while it’s a ‘religion’ that really doesn’t do all that much for me, I did find that the law of three is quite apt and not only that, but applicable to everyone.

    Everything you do comes back to you three fold. Maybe not today, tomorrow or next year, but make no mistake, it will come back. The man who cheats his boss ultimately pays for it. A theif gets caught and goes to jail. A woman who sits in judgement of another woman for having an affair seals her fate in that she just secured her own sex scandal down the road. That last one, I know a whole lot about first hand.

    It’s that old Biblical axiom, the one that tells us “Do not judge, lest ye be judged”. Even Wiccans know that.

    Keep up the good work. You have a real, discernible talent for writing and making people think with your words.



    Wow. You scare me a little, Sandra. Looks like we’re living parallel lives.

    Wishing you the best in terms of a swift resolution. I wish it for my situation, too.


  2. You know Laurie, last week I was reminded of a valuable lesson I learned years ago and somehow forgot its importance. It is this: Everyone has a story behind them. Years ago, I began working in a new department of a very large company. I would wish everyone good morning as I passed them. There was this young gal who wouldn’t respond. When I dealt with her she was rude. Well you can imagine the words that flew in my head everytime I dealt with her. Come to find out she was going through a nasty divorce. When she pulled through it, she was incredibly friendly and funny. We became great friends. Last week, I learned the “story” behind a very needy student. Shame on me for having to hear the story to make me see him in a different light. I guess my point is, before we speak we should remember there is a “story” there, Before we judge, we should remember there is a “story” there. We should treat everyone; friend, foe, or stranger with that in mind. Thanks for your very powerful writing. Now I’m gonna go and be nice to someone. 🙂

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