As in, this is what this blog post is about….time.
Experts argue about the nature of time; what it is and what it isn’t. Some claim that it’s merely an illusion. Others say it’s real. It certainly feels real to me, but I will agree with the “others” who say that time isn’t at all linear; that it moves in a circular pattern and in interweaving loops. Imagine if you will a big, heaping plate of this →
Right now, my life feels like just that plate of spaghetti. The beginning of this mass o’carbs and sauce is somewhere in there, as is the ending, but both aren’t obvious unless you get in the pile and root around some. That’s when you realize that the pile is comprised of several individual pasta noodles. The parts create the sum.
Life is one of those sum total deals, too and a part of my life, it seems, one that I thought I’d dealt with and placed on a back burner on a stove in another kitchen in a remote city that I will never visit again, is back like some recurring nightmare.
When I was a teenager and throughout my 20’s mainly, I thought I had the world figured out. I thought I knew all the answers and was arrogant as hell about it. No one could tell me a damn thing. I was right and they were wrong. Emphatically so. I sat in self-appointed judgement of people and their actions and didn’t have the emotional or perhaps at the time, the intellectual bandwidth, to allow myself to have any empathy for anyone else and their situations. He wasn’t good enough; she was a bitch. I offered few any quarter. I made mistake after mistake and was cavalier about it. I could afford to be cavalier; I arrogantly believed I had time.
But what I learned was that time is incredibly elusive. And when we say something or even think something, if it’s heinous enough, once those things are out there in the ether or in someone’s psyche, we can’t take them back. They become part of a most inflexible history. And that’s the only occasion when time stands still…when it has passed. Oddly enough, time becomes frozen in time…the memories of a day, a mood, an outfit; an expression. Your memories are permanent and unchanging and that makes the past the only thing in life that’s truly static. While we can’t change history, we DO have the power to alter the future at any given point in our lives and that’s a glorious thing. What we don’t realize but should, either because of immaturity or arrogance…or both…is that every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity. That’s what I mean by saying or doing things we’ll regret. Time matters not if it’s in the past but if it’s tinged with the stain of regret, a thought or action, then it resonates with an amazing staying power in the ephemeral world of forever.
It’s easy to feel self-righteous and be a sanctimonious ass when you think you’re right and everyone else isn’t. It’s easier for the pious to live in an imperfect glass house and throw stones all around you with aim and precision. But try remembering that when karmic retribution pays a visit and suddenly you’re suffering the slings and arrows that you’ve aimed in someone else’s direction. That’s when you realize that it’s so much easier to be the judge and the jury. There’s that moment of clarity that reminds you how unpleasant it is to be on the receiving end. These are barbed weapons that inflict pain and untold damage.
Just as you intended them to hurt when you fired them at will at an earlier time.
I will be 52 in April. That means I’ve lived long to have a much better understanding how the world works, but not long enough to know that I have a healthy respect for my ignorance on the subject. But in all those years, I’ve learned one thing: that the world is like a big car we drive. Free will is the fuel. We stop when we want; accelerate when we want, slow down when we feel like it. We idle when we must. We’re in control. That said, I’ve read enough on the subject of Wicca and basic spirituality to wrap my head around a few tenets. Ever heard of the Three-Fold Law??? Having been on the receiving end of this more times than I care to admit, I have come to believe that this is one of the essential threads of the universe; the fabric of which life is made.
The Three-Fold Law is a principle understood in many spiritual traditions in various forms:
- What you give out comes back to you 3 times (or more depending on your beliefs)
- What you do to others will be done to you
In essence, what you dole out returns to you, and it’s multiplied three-fold. And this pertains to both the good and the bad. The wonderful, charitable stuff you do and also the judgemental and underhanded throw-people-under- the- bus crap you do, too. And trust me, when your negative actions come back to bite you in the butt, they come back with a vengeance. They’re bigger than Dallas AND when you least expect and certainly,when you don’t need them heading your way.
But as I’ve said, you have control of this because the world is exactly what we – what all of us – make it. It’s the sum total of what we each allow our thoughts and feelings, our speech and actions to be. You are in command of all these. It’s your choice.
So, think before you speak and before you act. Let the knowledge that a much worse karmic payback awaits you be what it takes to hold a civil tongue.
And if by chance you think what I’ve said in this post is too Pagan or too witchy for your tastes, let me put it in those nice, familiar and acceptable Judeo/Christian terms: the distance one must travel when one gets off ones high horse without any help, is far and the landing invariably, hurts.
Rember this….next time.