Spare Change

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.  ~Harrison Ford

I’m not too crazy about the fact that I’ve started a post with a Harrison Ford quote, but what was created in the mind of Indiana Jones worked in terms of what I’m feeling right now and I’m feeling that change is imminent.  Nah.  Truth be told, I know it is.

But even if the “done deal” nature of things wasn’t in play here, I believe it’s fair to convey that for whatever reason, I’ve always been sensitive to impending change in my life.  I seem to be cognizant of when it’s happening; it becomes pbvious and palpable.  Things look different; everything feels different. But this time, even the “what’s different” is completely different.  Something is changing in my life and I unlike times before, I know exactly what it is.   I won’t bore you with details.  I’ve learned to apply certain boundaries regarding certain aspects of my life, but I will allow this much:  that what is about to transpire will change my life exponentially.   Beyond that, actually.

I’ve known this day was coming for quite some time.  I would sit and fantasize what it would be like; how I would feel; who would be with me when it happened;  what I’d wear and what I would do after this life altering event.  In my mind I had orchestrated such grandiose plans that would usher in all this change. 

I’d wonder how all this change would change all things.hange.

Well, at 1:42 pm (CST) on November 29, 2010 it happened.   With the simple gesture that is a penstroke, in a cluttered Mail Store in a strip center near the  Houston Galleria in front of an Asian Notary Public with limited English speaking ability,  my life was forever changed. I was all alone, clad in jeans, a T shirt, brown clogs.   I walked out the store and the sky was still as blue as it was as I entered it.  I didn’t feel giddy or scared for that matter.  I felt no different.    What had transpired was nothing even remotely as I had thought.

And to top it all off, I celebrated all this “change” with a lunch for one consisting of salad and watery cheese broccoli soup.  I toasted my new life with iced tea in a plastic cup.

As I sat there eating the most pedestrian of meals, I realized that in all this change, nothing had changed.  What was interesting was realizing that the lack of change, prompted change.  Does that make sense?     If the situation doesn’t change, then invariably, we  change our attitudes toward the situation.   Nothing is static.  When times are bad, fear not…they’ll change.  When times are good, fear not….they’ll change.   In life, change is unyieldingly pervasive.  It’s the one constant.   We just have to make the best of where we are; what we’re given.   You can make plans, but life rarely follows a script.   All the worry in the world won’t change a thing.  

Simply put, you can avoid having those stress induced ulcers by releasing all attempts to control what is uncontrollable.  By adapting to the situation:  if you walk along a muddy river bank and you slip and fall in,  pull yourself to the safety of the shore and make a vow that you’ll never walk that close to the water’s edge again.  

Then by all means,  check your pockets for fish.

cv

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