My Blog Is A Cheap Slut, But Apparently A Popular One

And she doesn’t care who you are or what you are, she’ll  let you read her.    For free.

But its paid off, I suppose.  Look over to your right;  the upper right hand corner of this page.   See it?  More than a million hits.

Yeah, I know.  Wow, right?

But I have to tell you, I really thought there would be more fanfare.  Perhaps, I thought maybe the folks at WordPress would ass up an acknowledgement of some sort;  send me a fruit basket,….a card, maybe.    But I guess they don’t keep track of stuff like that.   And really, that’s okay.  I’m learning the fine art of self congratulations.

Now obviously, I knew this day was coming and I’ve spent a great deal of time debating what I should do when the auspicious moment arrived.  And here it is.   As the sole soul behind this blog, I consider this one million hits/views to be a milestone.  There are blogs ‘in the sphere’ that get a million hits a day.  Mine isn’t one of them, but it has and has had respectable traffic for most of its three-year existence.   I can’t complain.   Not only that, it’s  been a rewarding experience, for the most part,  so what is left for me to do, OTHER than continuing to entertain you?    I’ve thought about stopping, and leaving of my own volition before I’m no longer read at all,  but my insatiable ego won’t allow that.   The truth is, blogging has, in some ways, saved me.  I started in April of 2007, at a time when  I was grossly unemployed, broke and the hopelessness of the situation rendered me completely devoid of confidence.  A friend suggested blogging as a means of keeping busy and not focusing on myself so much. 

HA!   That’s ALL I’ve ever done, but ultimately, writing about my life, my feelings and all that incessant whining and pontificating has helped keep me sane.  Well, that’s debatable, actually.

This is generally perceived  to be a humor blog, but as you know, I love to get all self-involved and lament my lovelessness.  And then there are times when I become a self-appointed arbiter of politics and social mores in my posts.    And when I write humor,  I know there are times when it comes across as downright strange.   But perhaps, this unwitting Forrest Gumpian “box of chocolates” approach to the way in which my blog is written might actually be one of its more alluring qualities–you never know what you’re going to get.

But you know you’re always going to get something–love it, hate it, herald it, pan it.

If you write it, they will read it….then, the ingrates will rip you a new one   

I have an unceasing amount of nonsensical stuff  that swirls in my head like a disjointed kaleidoscopic test pattern.   Thankfully, I see more vivid colors these days, as opposed to the olive drab of depression and sadness.  This is progress.  You see,  I’m at a very interesting place.  I’ve not told you all the things happening in my life, nor will I, but I will allow that I’ve changed and much has changed around me.  I don’t think I’m the same woman I was when I first started this blog.  I can see the evolution in my writing. 

One of the biggest changes is that I’m working broadcasting again.   I now help produce private label web-based radio stations for corporations.  These are real, by God stations with commercials and music and interspersed with news and specific client centric information.    One of our biggest clients is the Houston Independent School District.   Their radio station is called K12 Radio Houston (and HISD is the ONLY school district in the country to have an alternative revenue generator like this)  and I’m the content mistress and its voice. 

Wanna hear my dulcet tones in action?

Go to houstonisd.org and the K12 Radio Houston button on the left hand side, middle of the page.  Don’t expect the ribaldry and entendre some of you might associate me with,  on this station, I play it pretty straight.  The content is all HISD, all the time and let’s be honest, education is a serious business.  

The best news is that our company’s client roster is growing exponentially and I’m about to start travelling for my job.   Oh great….I can see it now.   I’ll start living out of a suitcase.  I’ll know all the hotel desk clerks and will call them by their  first names; I’ll live in airports and invariably, that means dining out all the time.  I’ll develop “Denny’s Ass”; my butt will be a grand slam, but for all the wrong reasons.

So, that means I’ll probably start blogging a bit less.  It is a responsibility, you know.   It ain’t easy staying current and relevant and to some, funny.  But for those of you who like me, who really like me……I’ll never completely go away.  Why?  There’s an addiction involved with blogging.  You get hooked and I am, though it’s hardly as intense as it used to be.   I now go one…two….maybe even three hours without checking it!!??!!   My absence will handle the attrition end of blogging and don’t suggest updating or publishing while I’m on the road.  I don’t have, nor do I want a laptop. 

As for my readers; I’ve had steadfast ones who’ve been with me since the beginning.  They never leave comments.  Others can’t help themselves.  They’ll opine over a misplaced comma.   Then, I have my stealth readers; who silently come and go like geese and their seasonal migration.  I never know they’ve even been here.   That’s fine too.   There’s no right or wrong way to read /this blog.  I’m just grateful you do.

Yes, it’s been a helluva ride.  I’ve met many people;  some great people, in fact.  And I’ve also met some walking rectal fissures.   I’ve horrible fights with strangers who attacked first.  Vicious, venomous exchanges.   But that was then; now I delete the bastards and ban them from ever commenting again.  It’s my blog and therefore, my prerogative.   I control everything.   Why give the deranged a voice or a platform.  Besides, they rarely leave their real names or legitimate email addresses.  They cower behind anonymity.  

Speaking of, blogging really is a tremendous social network.  In some ways, it’s better than My Space and more intriguing than the quick hit nature of Facebook.   It can be as  expansive as you want or need it to be.  For those willing to write as you think and feel; it really is reflective of your life, only better edited.  And while it can help you gain emotional footing, it can be a lightning rod for the insane.   For someone with larcenous intentions; the pathological liar with grandiose delusions;  the deceptive, cyber narcissist and product of a viciously compromised gene pool consisting of the alleles X, Y and H for “homely”, the blogosphere is indeed a happy hunting ground.   

  

The cyber world is full of soul collectors who ply their craft for sport; their goal?   To add human stats to their rosters o’evil.  Now, these aren’t your garden variety Satanic types;  these are mortal lunatics with feigned accents, conflicting cover stories that have more holes in them than Bonnie and Clyde after a roadside confab with the Texas Rangers (not the baseball team).  This is an apt description of these creeps.  They have large vocabularies which make up for other, more dubious shortcomings.

But I ain’t bitter or nuthin’.

Other than that little emotional hiccup and blemish, my blogging experience has been solid.  I am sincerely, most appreciative to you for finding me  interesting and intriguing enough to come back regularly to read the pant load of crap I try to shove down your throats.

To you all, a million thanks..

.

10 comments

  1. Uh oh… Hurry up with those thanks Laurie, the house orchestra is starting to play music to the audience, which is supposed to be your cue to wrap it up. Eventually, they will send out a few well dressed folks to escort you off the podium while the band gets louder and the applause lights start flashing.

    Laurie, I’m truly delighted to read your work – all of it. It’s almost as much fun as constantly clicking on page refreshes for which you pay me so much money…

    Seriously – congratulations! 🙂

  2. I’ve been anxiously waiting for this day.

    I say that because I did not like the idea of you shutting this blog down. Although I was never convinced you would actually do that, the possibility was still there. Thanks for staying. Besides checking my email, if there is only one thing I do on this computer on any day it is to check this site. With the exception of when I was out of town, I have never missed a single post. Not a single one.

    I know you know this. I just want to say it again so your other readers see it. When I accidentally found this blog several years ago the style of writing was startlingly familiar. I knew who you were instantly but I still had to ask.

    “Are you the Laurie Kendrick from the Stevens and Pruett show?”

    I forget exactly how you responded but it was a friendly affirmative. I think that you were a bit surprised that I recognized you in text. It was easier than you think.

    Thanks for the laughs and all the interesting content. You were born to blog.

    I must go now so that I can get into my asthma harness.

    Love you Laurie.

    ******

    Love you too, G.

    I remember getting your comment in 2007. Yours was one of the first I ever received. It was odd that you recognized my style in print. Maybe the name helped, too but I’m learning that there are plenty of Laurie Kendricks out there…God help them all.

    You’ve been there through thick and thin and your support has never wavered. Thank you. I’m glad we’ve become friends, too.

    That has been one of the biggest perks of this entire blogging endeavor.

    Let’s got get a beer at Nick’s soon.

    LK

  3. Congrats Laurie!

    I’m really glad I discovered you and could be part of the 1,000,000!

    You brighten my day.
    Scott

    ***

    No, thank YOU, Scott.

    I welcome your presence.

    LK

  4. I love coming here because few folks share as honestly as you do. You’re also funny, philosophical, open-minded, wacky — but above all, a true lover of humanity.

    You may tend to keep that attribute under the surface a bit but your “true character” emerges again and again throughout your work. (Yes, you are a really GOOD person, Ms. Kendrick.) And oh my! What a gifted writer!! You could pen top-rated books in your SLEEP. Such an asset; such a RARITY.

    Your readers are very lucky to have found you. We never know what might be on Laurie’s mind but it’s always going to be thought-provoking, colorfully written, and from the heart.

    Thanks so much for sharing your talent with us… and here’s to the SECOND million hits.

    Congratulations!

  5. ” I’ll develop “Denny’s Ass”; my butt will be a grand slam, but for all the wrong reasons.”

    That’s probably the funniest line I have ever heard or read. Keep it up Laurie-you rock!

  6. Congratulations!

    Is it true what I hear, that the first million is always the hardest? It may well be so for the writing part, but not hard at all for the reading.

    Thanks.

  7. Congrats on your first Million!!

    Although I don’t know how you got that old jpg of me in front of my system. Guess that’s why you have 1M and I don’t.

    Your irreverence is refreshing, your humor is whacked, your style is infectious.

    I love it!!

    -a stealthy foie gras gander

    ****

    Hello Brian,

    If there is one thing the old broad that I am loves more than anything, it’s when people dare to give me back to me, as in cleverly incorporating what I write in a comment form.

    That you claim to be a stealthy gander was just great. I loved it.

    Don’t be a stranger, please. Your wit will always be welcome here as well as your handsome, rugged good looks. Obtaining that photo of you and your system circa 1992 wasn’t easy. Univac wanted top dollar for that archival shot, but well, I am after all, me. Plus, I’m a sucker for a pretty interface.

    And thank you for your well wishes.

    LK

And now, you may opine your ass off...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s