Of Size and Statehood

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For time and all eternity, we–a species of bipeds capable of thought and reasoning–have been hearing ALL about the mighty, mighty penis and its prowess.   

But women have borne the brunt of all this hoo-ha/broo-ha.

We were told by Freud that we envied it.   We were told by Playboy that we should worship it.  We were told by Betty Friedan and Steinem et. al.,  that we bested it by leaps and bounds and told by our mothers that we should run from it.

And rebellious teenaged angst and psychology being what they are, made many of us do the exact opposite.

I find the male Muscular Maypole to be very interesting on a myriad of different levels–but that’s not the essence of this post.   Size is and more importantly, how penis size varies from state to state.    

Yes, 51 size queens (including the one in Washington, DC) joined forces and compared notes to measure manhood.    They listed the average penis sizes on this gay (I think) hookup site called Manhunt.   Someone recently sent me this list and while I doubt if it’s new, it certainly is different and certainly new to my blog.

So, in my ongoing effort to serve…

The question beckons:  how did they derive this info?  I would imagine they used a tape measure or ruler.  

And here at Laurie Industries, a hardfelt congrats goes out to the BIGGEST location in the nation–the District of Columbia.  

To that, we ask if the filming of  “Girth of A Nation” be far from production in our nation’s capital??

Weenus dimensions are listed below, from largest to smallest and by state.

  1. District of Columbia – 7.59
  2. New York – 7.50
  3. California – 7.45
  4. Florida – 7.44
  5. Kentucky – 7.42
  6. Georgia – 7.41
  7. North Carolina – 7.39
  8. Pennsylvania – 7.39
  9. Rhode Island – 7.38
  10. Minnesota – 7.34
  11. West Virginia – 7.32
  12. Illinois – 7.31
  13. Arizona – 7.31
  14. South Dakota – 7.31
  15. Texas – 7.30
  16. Ohio – 7.30
  17. Missouri – 7.30
  18. Nevada – 7.29
  19. Kansas – 7.29
  20. Mississippi – 7.28
  21. Oregon – 7.27
  22. Tennessee – 7.27
  23. Massachusetts – 7.27
  24. Maryland – 7.27
  25. Hawaii – 7.24
  26. South Carolina – 7.24
  27. Colorado – 7.23
  28. Louisiana – 7.22
  29. North Dakota – 7.22
  30. Michigan – 7.20
  31. Connecticut – 7.20
  32. Wisconsin – 7.19
  33. Idaho – 7.19
  34. Vermont – 7.16
  35. Nebraska – 7.15
  36. Washington – 7.15
  37. Utah – 7.14
  38. Virginia – 7.12
  39. Montana – 7.10
  40. New Jersey – 7.10
  41. New Hampshire – 7.08
  42. Indiana – 7.08
  43. New Mexico – 7.06
  44. Alabama – 7.05
  45. Maine – 6.98
  46. Iowa – 6.96
  47. Oklahoma – 6.96
  48. Arkansas – 6.96
  49. Delaware – 6.94
  50. Wyoming – 6.92
  51. Alaska – 6.34

My own Texas comes in at #15 with a respectable 7.3 inches and sorry about Alaska, Sarah Palin;  large land mass doesn’t equal a crotch load, apparently.  That’s the way the ball bounces.  Your state came in at #51, the smallest average sized penis in that big,  cold, barren locale you call home is right at 6.34 inches. 

Ironic then, isn’t it that Alaska would be home to that huge pipeline???  

Well, Sarah, it’s true–you and your fellow Alaskans can see Russia from your backyards, but when it comes to looking at everything else, we’d suggest a telescope.

And apparently, tweezers.

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