I Am Decidedly NOT A Kate Gosselin Fan

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Laurie Plus Kate = Hate 

Actually, hate is such a strong word.  But in this case, not overtly. 

You see, I never liked the TLC reality show featuring the Gosselins–a couple who played Frankenstein to create life and sorry if that offends, but as I see it, that’s what they did.   I’ve never had that maternal urge to procreate so perhaps I can’t even really comment about that, but it still  bothers me from an ethical standpoint—I think.   I’m really not sure what it was about this couple, but it was something and whatever it was, it bothered me from the very beginning.    

Jon and Kate in 'sappier' times

And in the beginning, Jon and Kate were just your typical Pennsylvania couple who had twin girls.  She was a nurse; he was in IT, but something felt incomplete.   They wanted more children.  Kate’s ability to conceive was compromised by Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome . and fertility treatments were the only ways to ensure Jon would get that son he wanted.  

Well, he got what he wanted…and then some.    Alexis Faith, Hannah Joy, Aaden Jonathan, Collin Thomas, Leah Hope and Joel Kevin were born just shy of 30-weeks gestation.    

The Gosseli’s were an interesting couple, business wise;  the kind TV execs in the New Millenium like.   Kate is cute.  She kinda has that “girl next door” thing going and Jon is cute in his own right and bears more of the ethnocentric facial features of his Korean mom rather than his French and Welsh father.   The twins and the sextuplets do as well.   This was very appealing to TLC.  They were “the new face of the American family”.  So, the Gosselin’s understood the financial parameters involved in having their own reality show and considering they had to raise eight children, I understand their reasoning, though I just don’t see how having a camera crew record so much of your day-to-day lives can be a good thing.   

I believe we all know how that worked out for them. 

I don’t know what Jon and Kate’s marriage was like before the lights,  the cameras and the action, but of the few shows I watched, it seemed to steadily deteriorate as the seasons unfolded. 

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And I have a feeling that Kate was really efforting to be civil here.  When the cameras aren’t rolling I would imagine the sleeves get rolled up, the expletives fly and the decibels increase.   There are other moments I can remember Kate nagging Jon, to the point where it was extremely uncomfortable to watch. 

So I stopped watching altogether. 

And I should say I wasn’t at all surprised when I first heard the Gosselin’s marriage was on the rocks and probably headed for divorce court.  

And here’s where my opinion on this whole thing gets a little convoluted.  

I can empathize with a tired woman who has eight children and a husband that is slow to react; seemingly lacks any real personality, is a dullard and seems a bit slow and dim-witted at times.  I would think that based on the little interaction I’ve witnessed, Kate is probably somewhat smarter than Jon.    If this is true, this would be a point of frustration for an already frazzled mom. 

If this is true, then it’s obviously a HUGE bone of contention and source of resentment for the man constantly reminded of his shortcomings–and in front of millions of viewers.     Jon is probably also aware that he isn’t as smart as Kate, but smart enough to know he didn’t like being reminded of it on national TV.   As you saw in the video, Kate doesn’t hold her tongue. 

A man with a healthy male ego is not going to tolerate being whittled down like that, especially in such a public forum. 

So, he had an affair.   That seems to be the ultimate “fuck you” for men (and yes, spare me the comments–women do this too) but this seems to be a fairly common reaction of men who tire of their marriages to stronger, smarter women, because that’s exactly what they needed–at age 24.    Twelve years later at 36, not so much.   People change, some grow; others don’t and every marriage will be affected by everything that happens be it abject changes or even if the marriage does nothing but stagnate.  Every thing affects a union.  

I abhor infidelity.  It’s devastated my life, but it seems that publically humiliating a strong woman (a nagger which Kate had down to a science) with a very public affair seems to be a very typical; a very common counter strike for her offenses.  And let’s face it, what will hurt a woman worse?  Another woman. 

The problem with Jon and Kate is (and sadly many other couples are guilty of this, too) they were both incredibly wrong on how both handled their marriage…especially its ending.   Every time she ripped into him out of her frustration and her lack of discipline and appreciation for what she was doing to him, he allowed a chunk of his integrity to fall off his psychic wagon because he couldn’t empathize with what she was going through.   She didn’t realize that every insult was amounting to a mortal blow to  her marriage. They wounded each other by being exceedingly selfish and  refusing to see the role they played in the dissolution of their relationship.   In many ways, the dissolution of the union was textbook, except for the camera crews.    I firmly believe Kate was a shrew long before motherhood.   She married a dolt and that dolt needed a strong woman to fill his voids.  

And that my friends, is ALWAYS a recipe for failure.

And now Kate has become this media gadfly, lauded simply for that temporary housing unit we call her uterus.  She’s ubiquitous from what I understand.  Everywhere–on “The View, the morning news shows…everyone wanting to know how Kate Gosselin balances her life as a new celebrity, a divorced single mother of eight, an author, a motivational speaker and now a Dancer With Stars. 

Am I the only one who finds this a little repulsive?   I’m not sure why it bothers me so, but it does.   Especially when I hear Kate says she has to do her” job”.  Her job?  What’s her “job”?  Celebrity is a gig?   Does the IRS recognize that as a career?   

When I heard her say that once it galled me as much as it did when I heard Madonna refer to herself as ‘an artist and what she does, is “her craft”.    

Yeah right….uh-huh.    

Recording a song in a controlled studio environment with an engineer applying loads of effect on her voice–more so than anything we’ve heard on an Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon ain’t singing and going on stage and doing the occasional shuffle ball change ain’t dancing. 

Artist my ass. 

However, I can’t fault Kate for trying to support her large family.  Federal statistics indicate she’s in for a hell of an uphill struggle.   Child rearing isn’t cheap.   Even for low-income families, the cost to raise a child from birth to age 17 can cost upwards of 200 thousand dollars.   If you’re in the upper financial echelons, it can cost closer to 300K.   OK, let’s operate on that proviso for a sec.   Kate will probably get custody and Jon will have to help financially .  That means they’ll both have to work–a lot–and will have to multiply that 300K figure by eight and according to my 99 Cent Store calculator, that means J&K will have to come up with a whopping 2.4 million dollars just to get their kids through high school.   I haven’t EVEN figured in college,  extra security and nannies the kids will require and I would imagine, we’ll have to include psychological counseling for all eight must be figured in there somewhere. 

Kate would never earn that as a nurse.  Jon couldn’t make that doing whatever he does, so the choice for Kate was simple:  capitalize on her reality show fame…or sell drugs.  She chose the former.  Besides, she already had a foot in the door.  People seemed interested in her brand.  It made sense. 

I also understand that Kate has recently admitted that she regrets some of the things she says, especially in regard to her ex-husband John Gosselin, even when they were still married. 

“Much of what I said to Jon was unwarranted. I could have guarded my tongue better,” she admits in her latest book — a sentiment brought to light on a recent  interview on the “Today” show. 

“I learned that in the heat of the moment I have a sharp tongue,” she told Meredith Vieira. “Looking back there are probably a lot of people that I love that I probably spoke to inappropriately. Those are the people that are beside you to support you and love you. I’ve really learned to watch what I say.” 

OK Kate, I’ll give you that much, but I still don’t like you.  And I don’t apologize for not liking you, nor will I lose sleep over my inability to pinpoint precisely the reason why I don’t.  I don’t like that former sperm donor of yours, either.  You both kind of repulse me. 

And I’ll also admit that despite my feelings, I don’t blame you for knowing you have to work–just please, shut up about it.  Seriously, we’re bored with learning that you’re a working mom after dancing on a TV show.  And one more thing, Katie–you’re lucky; not talented and let’s not even pretend for one minute that you’re anything but a an all right looking flash in the pan; a temporary flavor of the month produced by the Baskin Robbins-like star making machinery throwing darts at your career highlight reel in some darkened network boardroom.  

Kate's DWTS partner trying to shake baby #9 out of her

Kate's DWTS partner trying to shake that obstinate baby #9 out of her

You’re a product.  A creation.  This time, the networks injected the fertility drugs to give your career multiple chances at fame.   

And now that I think about it, that’s one of the main reasons I resent you-I don’t like what you represent.  There are a lot of working moms out there with kids too who can’t get two thousand dollar hair extensions, write books, appear on “The View” and “Today”, dance a pas de deux on ABC while wearing shiny gold lamé gowns and shell out tens of thousands of dollars for nannies and cooks and tutors and whatever else is needed to cover the cost of being an absentee mother who’s  just “doing her job”. 

No, most moms can barely afford to feed their kids.   

Plus, I don’t know you, but I get the feeling that you’re rather cold, aloof and not a very nice person. I do however feel with some degree of certainty that you’ve become a fame whore, Kate and I predict that this won’t end well.   

But it will end. 

So go ahead, work ‘at your job’ and then take a much-needed break from the make-up chair before your sixth appearance on Larry King this week and check that new diamond studded Piaget your recent book deal allowed you to buy.   Look closely.  You’re at minute 14 and a half. 

And I sincerely hope your watch runs fast.   

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8 comments

  1. This was good – except that you forgot to mention that virtually *every* couple that has consented to live filming/taping has ended up similarly divorced or otherwise unhappy. Do you remember “An American Family”, the PBS special from back in the 70s?

    Kind of makes you wonder what it is about the idea of being watched and recorded all the time that creates such a mindset.

    *

    Exactly. It never bodes well. Something about airing dirty laundry only creates more.

    But I didn’t “forget” to mention all the other failures that filming every day in the life seems to bring on. I even mentioned that making your life an open book to a greedily prurient American populace never seems to work, but I chose not to expound upon that because that wasn’t the gist of the post. The gist was about my abject dislike and lack of respect for Kate Gosselin.

    LK

  2. The gist was about my abject dislike and lack of respect for Kate Gosselin.

    Ah, yes. Well done. Carry on!

    .

    There’s something about her, Tom. I felt the same way about Sarah Palin. Can’t stand either…for different reasons, for similar reasons.

    LK

  3. >played Frankenstein to create life

    I agree. While I deeply respect the ability of people to choose for themselves, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with their decisions. Fertility-drug-induced multi-spawn are just creepy. If you can’t have kids, adopt.

    >we’re bored with learning that you’re a working mom

    I’m hoping we’re nearing the end of that trend — where every woman who works and has kids has to announce it like it’s an Olympic event. My mom did it, solo. I’m doing it, solo. Never asked for a trophy. To Kate + her kind: Get over yourselves.

    I think the key lesson is, none of us really want to see what we’re really like, 24-7. I’ve no doubt that if a camera crew followed me around, I’d see stuff I don’t like. It’d probably be good for me — if it weren’t broadcast. I’d probably get disgusted at how much time I spend online…

    Crap, gotta go. 🙂

  4. Concurred. I wonder what was more destructive to the relationship: the facade they had to put on every day, or the lure of the fame? It seems to me that when people see the bright lights of the big city, that’s when things run amok. I’d also like to add that if J+K were really about the kids, they would have been in therapy from the start. 8 kids + TV camera… puh-lease.

  5. I agree alot of what has been said. I know alot of people who have many children and they seem to be able to take care of them with alot less money. I think people are not really looking at her, kate, they are thinking of the cute children. She is a shrew, and a bitch, she is not only thinking of her kids, and she is not a mom first, if she was she would not have treated her husband like she did. She may be smarter than Jon, or not, but she is more minipulating and selfish, he is just not as disrespectful as she was. She only cares about herself first, if anyone saw the one where they were on the plane for the first time with all the kids, all the other adults there were tired and didn’t act like she did. It all about her and the lifestyle she wanted. There was an episod where her friend and her went to a spa and she said she wanted this all the time and I am quite sure she has it now. The need to work and do the shows and all she does is so she can have all she wants. She said it at the end of the season, before the last season. That they were not sure where it would all end that Jon was tired of all the media attention and wanted to just be them and Kate said not her she liked it and all it was. So it shows that he was getting sick of it all and she just wants more and more and more. Then the last season I think TLC saw Kate as the one who would keep going and Jon would pull the plug and it shows how Kate had 4 high powered attnys. And Jon had one that could not even represent him at the hearing as he could not practice in that state. That was all high powered by tlc so they could keep going with a show feturing the kids. There money maker and hers. Jon wanted to pull the plug so the show dumped him and so did she. And during the show they both said the kids would have the house and they would share time there with them. Well kate fixed that with the high powered attnys and tlc. They all needed to strip him and keep him away so they could use the kids to make money. If she was still in the other house and had a part time sitter and housekeeper I would understand it more but if she is doing all this for her kids. She would sell that million dollar home and move to something more affordable and try to do more herself for the kids instead of hiring everything to be done. And then she could use the money she could get for the house to take care of the kids and their education and spend time with them herself. She is living in that house and doing the things she is doing for herself, not the kids, the kids just need their mom and dads attention. Nancy

  6. Everything you said about Kate (and Jon), I concur. Couldn’t have put it any better myself.

    I’ve been with relationships in the past with women like Kate, i.e. strong-willed women who thought the best way to demonstrate said will was to berate, belittle, and henpeck. I reached my breaking point each time, dumping each of them instead of waiting to be dumped first. What was interesting was that they were each surprised. “What? What do you mean ‘You aren’t very nice and you’re an insufferable shrew’?”

    Men are not complex creatures. We don’t demand much. One of the best ways to get us to do your bidding is to stroke our egos, make us feel wanted and appreciated, etc. When we don’t feel valued, bad things happen. In many cases, men will go find that positive reassurance from someone else.

    It isn’t right when they do, and in NO WAY do I justify infidelity. I’ve always been a firm believer (and practiced what I preach) that you make your feelings known clearly, and if that fails, THEN you leave BEFORE finding someone who will be better for you. Like you, I think Jon is a boor and a self-absorbed sleaze. Being married to an overbearing nag like Kate was a recipe for disaster, and the real tragedy is that the kids are caught in the middle of it.

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