In Politics, Size Matters


Size matters everywhere, really.  With the exception of waistlines and butt widths, large is great, preferable even.  As the ubiquitous “they” say, bigger is better.  

We want our women small in stature, but not our men.  No, society compels us to believe (thanks in part to Hollywood and the brain trusts on Madison Avenue) that we want our men to be big, brawny and burly.

It’s a well-known fact among Washington insiders, that the diminutive, perennial presidential candidate and inveterate health care bill flip-flopper, Dennis Kucinich would never/could never, EVER win a spot in the nation’s highest office.  It will always elude him, even though he might be an honest man; a good man…one rife with integrity and the best political intentions to serve his fellow Americans.  The reality is he’s entirely too small.

He does however, look amazingly like a Chilean Fruit bat.


Yes, we like larger male type people, places and things.  We like our stuff and concepts supersized.   OK, we all get that but hey,  in the world of politics with the economy and inflation being such key issues and the national debt bloated beyond Kirstie Alley dimensions, who knew so many national and global leaders (past and present) are such intrepid size queens?!?!?

billhands.jpg . dickhands4.jpg .george-sr.jpg . biden2.jpg . fredhands.jpg


And some politicos have a thing for height as evidenced here:

johnw1.jpg . billflathand.jpg


And as we can see, size also matters here…..

fingers1.jpg . fingers5.jpg . fingers7.jpg


E tu Hamid Karzai? E tu?????   And Mary Matalin, former Republican Advisor turned author, informs us in universal sign language that hubby and human turnip, James Carville apparently has a “short story”, too!

fingers-karzai.jpg . matalincarville.jpg

We here at Laurie Industries are damn glad that Jimmy C. can laugh about his lesser qualities.  And we also wanted to know what everyday, average Americans think about the role size plays in the White House Presidential Bedroom and we also wanted to know, what if anything, political affiliation had to do with it.

That’s why we surveyed 11-anthropomorphic hallucinations in my head and asked them who they thought (in the previous and current administrations and based on the photos displayed below) was/is the happiest, most sexually contented and satisfied First Lady who ever lived or currently lives in the stately, but pale colored manor located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.



Michelle Obama

Obviously, Democrats win that round and apparently by a much longer and larger margin.

BUT…who did the survey indicate was/is the happiest, most satisfied president in office?

Democratic Convention….OR……/laura-bush-open-mouth

Congratulations former President Bush!    That Laura must be some kind of woman!!

EDITOR’S NOTE:  This poll was taken orally with a margin of error plus or minus ten inches.



And now, you may opine your ass off...

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