Laurie Kendrick For Hire. Seriously.

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Well, in typical Kendrick fashion, that big , bad ass job with a local government agency didn’t happen.   It fell flatter than Debra Messing’s chest.   

 After seven long, arduous months of waiting  and after having two interviews, my references  and background checked and a ton of writing samples submitted, they decided NOT to full the position.     At all.

I have never waited for a job for that long in my life.

And as a result, I feel as though I’ve lost some of the wind behind my sails.  And then a phone call this morning told me that a side gig I’d been depending on, is ending in two months, so here I sit….like some short, unloved and unwanted plate of  shrivelling liver sitting alone and drying up on this long, poorly heated buffet of disappointment.

But my pity party has to be short-lived.   I’ve cried a sufficient amount of time.  Expressed fear and disappointment to two friends, so now it’s time to put on my big girl panties and fix my situation.

I’ve already spent the young day apllying for jobs and cold calling and cold e-mailing companies and corporations not even advertising for gigs.   So far, nothing.   I’ve also devided to revisit something I’ve done once before.   Unfortunately, it yielded no results, but I’m willing to try one more time. 

I’ve appealed to my readers here on my blog before and I’m not too proud to do it again.

Hire me.

Seriously, I am an accomplished journalist and college educated (BA Journalism/ Minor in History) .  I’m an award winning writer and reporter with 26…count ’em, 26 years worth of major market experience in TV, radio and print under my belt.

Need a writer?   How about a Media Liaison?    What about a court jester?   I look dazzling in harlequin silk.    Need a Copy Writer?  Comedy writer?   Someone to write professional hate letters?     I do all of those things very well.

I’m affordable, I don’t eat that much and I’m short, so I don’t take up that much room.  I type 65 wpm.  Can speak and read Spanish proficiently.  I also speak Jewish, Brooklyn, Eastern European, Texan,  Southern with a decidedly Alpharetta accent and that no-accent Midwestern accent.

I bathe regularly, never come to diner at anyone’s house empty handed and I ALWAYS return my shopping carts to the appropriate cart stall corral thingy in the supermarket parking lot.    I look 12 years younger than I am and act 25 years younger.

I have really cute shoes.

I clip coupons.

I believe in my own benevelence.  I am humble but can apply healthy and reasoned narcissism when needed.   I’m quite popular and a very driven a go-getter.  I think being late is a character flaw.  I’m extremely creative and keep greeting cards for every occasion in my desk draw at work.   I’m trustowrthy and always maintain an accessible-to-everyone basket of candy bars (the good stuff, not that cheap crap) on my desk. 

I’m fun to work with and a blast to be around, especially when I make jokes at other people’s expense.   I’ve never been fired for something of my own accord and the  HR department  loves me.

I am unencumbered by children and a spouse (that’s an entirely different post) and willing to travel formy job and will to  relocate just about anywhere in order to get a job.

I’m serious people.   Perfectly serious.  This not a joke.   This time, I really, really, really need your help.  

 My situation is reaching critical mass in more ways than one, so come on faithful readers, do a sister a solid.  

Acording to my blog’ Site Meter, I currently have an average of about 1, 230 hits on my blog each day.   Of that number, someone reading must be in a position to hire or works for an organization that’s hiring or knows someone who knows someone who’s hiring.

I really want to work and in that regard, I really need to work.   Anywhere.  I think I’ve shot my employable wad here.   I want to stay in Houston.  This is home, I really like it here, but unfortunately, all signs seem to be indicating that H-Town no longer has anything to offer me.

So, what do you say?   Can you help me?   A resume and writing samples can be made available upon request.

All interested parties should contact me at lauriekendrick at aol dot com

Thank you from the bottom of my enlarged heart.

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14 comments

  1. I’m an avid reader of Laurie’s stories and I honestly can say I think she’s a talented writer. I’m not a journalist or TV or radio personality but I know entertainment. I have kept up with her ever since she started this blog, reading her material from comedies to gut wrenchers and there have been a time or two where she’s made me think about things in my life—things that I might need to change.

    We’ve all been entertained by this extrordinary woman. Her creativity and humor mainly, and if I were in a position to hire her to join my company/firm, there would be no hesitation. In fact, there would be no need for an interview; I’d hire her on the spot. That’s all that would be needed. Why? Because we already know her.

    Lots of luck, Laurie. You have a public out there, supporting and praying that the job of a lifetime comes your way.

    Sincerely,
    Edna Seale Barton, a fan.

  2. To Whom It May Concern,

    If you have but considered, for any moment, the power of the internet and all its social media, you may want to give it a much close, consequential examination.

    Tne entire paradigm of communication, and even human resources, has shifted dramatically in the last decade. An educated, well-read populace turns to the internet not only for entertainment but for everything from auctions to gambling, to knowledge sharing. In between lie the legions of bloggers and their readers. These people know who consistently provides a quality product and who doesn’t.

    I submit to you, without any solicitation on Ms. Kendrick’s behalf, my full-throated and unequivocal testament to her abilities as a writer, and moreso as a woman of outstanding merit. At a minimum, her blog provides a varied spectrum of content, and her many readers can easily support any question you may have about her ability to draw, entertain, and inform.

    Ms. Kendrick would, I assure you, not be availed upon for any professional work had I the proper say in the matter, for I would not hesitate in the slightest to provide her appropriate employment if I could. Her character and professionalism can hardly be truly given their due justice solely on her blog.

    She is more than worth your consideration. She is worth your scrutiny, and I personally vouch for her inestimable qualities as a person.

    I would be only too happy to entertain any inquiries on her behalf.

    Respectfully,
    J.W. Nicklaus
    .

    So, like uh…when are we getting married?????

    LK

  3. Laur, you always wanted to get married in the fall or winter anyway.
    .

    Actually, I’ve always envisioned a mid November wedding. It’s chilly outside and things get underway at precisely five pm.

    It’s relatively small, but elegant. I’m in my silk taupe pansuit…dripping in fabulous pearls. You and Karthy in jewel tone turquoise pantsuits, holding nosegays of white roses, callalilies and whatever flowers will color coordinate.

    It’ll be a candlelight affair. Not Catholic, but maybe a few aspects of Mother Church. It’ll be at the Houstonian. The ceremony will take place in a smaller ballroom. Flowers, white carpet. Candles, the First Desk of the Houston symphony playing all kinds of lovely music as guests walk in with their wine glasses.

    I will have a wine and nibbles social an hour prior to the ceremoney. Tuxedoes waiters will be passing around only the tastiest nibbles and servers will rarely leave a glass empty.

    Fun is the order of the evening at my wedding.

    The ceremony begins. You and Kathy walk down the aisle first to that beautful Variation on a Theme from Verde and “A Little Romance”.

    I”m there. The future Mr. Kendrick is there. We’re fixated on each other. I have never been happier and thanks to mummy, neither has he. We’re pronounced as a new pronoun then we, the wedding party, stay for the tedium of photos while the guests go out and have more wine and nibbles.

    Then the gala reception. I can see the food. Five courses, replete with a cheese course, Honey!!!

    The drink will flow. My guests will want for nothing.

    A great band plays the best music. It is a party.

    I can see the cake. That beautiful cream on taupe four tier delight of scrollwork and latice-like banners and draping.

    Ah yes.

    Someday.

  4. I envision it quite vividly. I see our wedding ensemble, jewels and flowers. I see yours, too. The only thing I don’t see is the face of your intended. That will remain a secret until then.

  5. Sorry to hear about the job falling through. I hate that. Had it happen more than once… and it’s like getting dumped after the first date.

    Come to think of it, jobs are a lot like relationships. We sometimes stick with one longer than we should, because looking for a new one is so daunting. 🙂

  6. abc7 Chitown is looking for a TV Producer-slash-Stage Manager as well. Not sure if that’s up your alley or to your liking or not, but I thought I’d toss it out there. I took a brief glance last night at some of the larger radio stations, and most of what they have to offer is either an internship or entry level stuff. We all know you’re better than that. Not worth pulling up stakes and moving cross country for that. Although the fringe benefit of living close to me might sweeten that deal 😉

    .

    Say Jules,

    Think we could raise some hell living in the same city? Bet we could.

    LK

  7. Julee, I loved your fair city. My husband and I went there last Sept for the first time. I can’t tell you how impressed I was. Course, I was uptown, staying not for from the huge 7 story Bloomingdales. I can’t remember what that area is called with all little shopping centers. Anyway, we took a carriage ride and rode along Lake Michigan. I loved it.

  8. LK – you know those cutesie pie little earthenware jars women have as knick knacks that say ‘martini money’?

    You and I would have to have jars standing three feet tall off the floor labeled ‘bail money’. LOL

    Karol – I’m guessing you were on Michigan Avenue’s Magnificent Mile? I don’t live in the city – I’m about an hour north in the burbs – I can almost spit and hit Wisconsin. But yes, Chitown is beautiful – especially in fall and spring. I regret you never made it here sooner so that you could experience Marshall Field’s. THAT is Chicago. Unfortunately – it’s now Macy’s. *Yawn*

  9. That’s right-Magnificent Mile. We plan on another trip to see Chicago. This time, no time tables. We loved it.

  10. Laurie, let’s get Nonie to finance a trip to the Windy City. Hell with Savannah. We’ll go there then jump a jet to NYC.

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