On Sunday, a friend and I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning discussing a myriad of things including writing, life, avoidant personality disorder, quantum physics, the relevance of Myanmar’s Scorched Earth policy in the new millennium, Lemon Pledge’s lustrous shine on domestically made cherrywood armoires and of course , the word “anyway” versus the word “anyways”.
That reminded me that I’ve also had the very same conversation with legendary Houston Sports Anchor, Craig Roberts. Mr. Roberts is now host of the wildly popular, “Sports Off Center” on Channel 55 here in Houston. Catch it when you can; funny show.
Craig and I met in 199o during the local tryouts of idiots who were arrogant enough to think themselves physically capable of being perfect foes for an upcoming American Gladiator show to be filmed in Houston. Remember that post Saturday Night Live show that was briefly very popular when the 80’s became the 90’s .
Craig and I hit it off instantly back in 1990 and we’ve had the pleasure of working together off and on for the next 18-years. He is brilliant and funny and my friend.
Craig and I both share a mutual disdain for the word “anyways”. That added ‘s’ is simply wrong and it will always be wrong regardless of how, when or why it’s used….colloquialisms not withstanding. Even if it were correct, it would still sound so wrong.
There’s a redundancy to making the word plural. You see, the prefix “any” already indicates plurality; more than one. So, adding an ‘s’ to the word which is effectively a grammatical quantitative is the annoying equivalent to the patently offensive use of double negatives.
I went out with a guy once who used the word “anyways” incessantly and it grated on my nerves. Unfortunately, it became a deal breaker in the relationship.
Now, before you get on your high horse to remind me how completely shallow and imperfect I am and then lambaste me with, “What right do you have to chastise anyone for using ‘anyways? It’s a perfectly good word and sorry if it offends you, you Miss Know-It-All- Blondie Blowhard!!”, I will beat you to the punch. Call me what you will; accuse me all you want, but the reality is I am right in this case and while I don’t want to do this, I must because frankly, the need to feel completely vindicated compels me.
As in wrong.
Wanna help out an old alter girl? Then please click here.