Would You…….???


If a woman was in a store with her very unruly child and she began spanking said child,  would you (a complete stranger) intervene?    Or would  your intervention depend on the extent to which the spanking escalated?

If a woman was in a grocery store with a child wailing over the fact that Mom refused to buy his favorite Captain Crunch variety, would you scowl and ignore or approach her and ask her to take the diminutive  banshee out of the building?

If you were walking along the sidewalk and witnessed an older person fall or take a tumble, would you keep on walking or would you stop to help?

Would you pull over after witnessing a minor traffic accident to offer help or would you keep on driving thinking someone else would probably stop and help?

If you lived in an apartment building and the neighbors were playing Rap music with the base cranked up to 11, would you call building management, the police, knock on their door with your hands over both years or would you suffer in silence so you wouldn’t step on anyone’s toes ?

If a woman exited a bathroom and had her skirt or dress hiked up in panty hose (do women still wear these restrictive things invented by Torquemata??) exposing her portly rear end to the world, would you tap her on the shoulder and let her know?      Would you do the same if you are a man?

If a man exited the bathroom with his fly unzipped with a slight protrusion in progress, would you let him know?    Would you do the same if you are a woman?

If you saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor of a semi-intimate cocktail party (say 28 people are in attendence), would you quietly pocket the dough or would you take it around the room asking your fellow guests if they lost a $20?

Would you tell a complete stranger that his/her spouse or betrothed is having an affair?

If you witnessed a co-worker who was fertively glancing to the left and right, swipe a ream of paper, a hox of paper clips, five Post-It Notes stacks, a few pens and a three-hole puncher, would you notify your supervisor?

Would you feel badly if you learned the co-worker ultimately had permission to take these items and you jumped to the conclusion of stealing?

Would you discipline someone’s else child?

If you were at a dinner party and the entre tasted as if it had been already eaten, would you politely force feed yourself?   Would you take a few polite nibbles and make a meal out of the side dishes and bread?   Or would you allow your gag reflex to do your talking for you?

Would you go to a wedding, a shower, retirment party or a birthday celebration without a gift and reamin silent, refusing to apologize for coming empty handed?

Let’s say you’re introduced to the the very homely newborn of a friend or colleague, would you make cooing sounds and offer “sweetitudes” thus sparing the new mom’s feelings or would you ask her which tree  it fell out of?



  1. I would not unless it involved the face or a closed fist.

    I would do what I always do: Quietly mutter to myself “shut that fucking little monster up.”

    I would absolutely stop and help. I wouldn’t leave until I knew they were OK and would even help get them attention if they needed it and wait until it arrived.

    If it’s a minor traffic accident there’s no need to. It’s minor. As much as I get around this is almost a daily occurrence.

    If it was during the day I wouldn’t care. If it was at night I would simply go outside and turn off their AC unit. It’s very easy. Open the lid of the box and flip the switch off. Just make sure to close the lid afterward.

    I wouldn’t walk across the room to do it but if she were right next to me it would seem the right thing to do.

    Haha . . . No.

    Yes, and I have. Only it was three 100 dollar bills. I was bartending on a slow night and found it in the game room. I stuck them in my pocket and told everyone at the bar that someone had lost something and if they realized they were missing something and could identify it, I had it for them. It was claimed the next day by someone who was there the night before. Dammit!

    If it was a complete stranger, no. But how would I know this?

    I would take them aside and ask them about it personally. In private. If they told me in confidence that were stealing then I’d extort lunch money from them. Just kidding. Seriously, I’d ask them this: “Would you really, really feel comfortable coming here every day knowing what I know?” I think it would take care of itself.


    No. But if they were in my care I’d order them to stop whatever they were doing wrong. For some reason kids really listen to me.

    If it was that bad I’d eat what I could by employing an entree/side dish ratio to consume time.

    If a gift was that important to an occasion and I was unable to bring one I just wouldn’t attend.

    Haha . . . “which tree” . . . This is hard to answer. As beautiful as newborns are for what they are, aren’t they all a bit homely the first month? Seriously, if one just really stood out I’d still find something nice to say.

  2. Depends on the severety of the spanking.

    Scowl at both mother and child and mutter some expletives under my breath.

    I would stop to help, of course.

    Probably not.

    Most likely call the building management. I need my sleep and I’m in bed before 10-that includes weekends.

    No. I always welcome a good laugh.

    Same as above


    Why would I care about a stranger?

    No. I would spread it around, though.

    Oh well.

    Verbally, yes. Physcially, no.

    I would push the nasty bits around my plate and fill up on bread if it was served.

    Yes, I’ve done it many times.

    All I would say is how sweet it looked and change the subject.

And now, you may opine your ass off...

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