A Final Note

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I want to make something perfectly clear:  the selfishness and deceit of someone else didn’t force my hand regarding the termination of my blog.  I don’t always lose my mind, every time I lose my man.   My God, if that were the case,  I’d be Rosemary Kennedy in a lithium colored party dress, standing wall-eyed in someone’s garden on Martha’s Vineyard, playing a tambourine without the metal jingles.   

You see, I have to be honest with you–I make horrendous choices in men.  I find replications of my father and that turns me into the real Goodbye Girl.   In fact, I’m marriage primer.  If you want to find the woman of your dreams and get married, date me.    Invariably this always happens.  I’m a marriage repellent and while this is true, it’s decidedly NOT the reason why I’m stopping the blogging process.  No,  I stopped blogging, mainly because I grew tired of constantly feeding the beast. 

Comedy is easy; but that’s only when it isn’t difficult.   I don’t always think people understood my humor and that’s fine.  I didn’t always hit a home run, but I never cowered while up at bat.  And yes, sometimes I got dark and brooded a bit and sometimes I wrote from what’s left of my heart.   Writers should never be one trick ponies.   I’m proud of that fact that I could negotiate the creative lines.

While blogging had its merit for me, it got to the point where I no longer  cared for the blogosphere that came with it .    It had gotten too clickish for me.  I am reminded of  snooty sorority girls on the University of Texas campus, circa 1977.   People hide behind anonymity to argue, to insult….to woo.  It’s become something of a meat market for the nefarious  and let’s be honest, these wiley tightwads know  it’s certainly cheaper than e-Harmony.   As a result, it became too predatory for me.  So that, coupled with the daily wear and tear on my creativity  comprise the reason for my wanting out. 

I could blame the Internet, but I won’t.   The Internet is an amazing  thing.  Al Gore should be completely laughing maniacally about his vainglorious  creation,  but it can also an impious arena.   It allows  some to be obscured, cloaked in fantasy and that allows to do anything we want; we can pretend to be anything we need to be.    Words paint the perfect mosaic and if we’re gullible and vulnerable enough, we get sucked in to to each syllable. .  We get conned and believe  the horseshit thrown our way because if we’re needy and desperate enough, we’ll find a way to deny it all, by distorting reality.   At the very least, we’ll pretend that bullshit is part of the courting process. 

Not long  ago, I wrote on my birthday post that often, we  don’t love wisely.  The runs the gamut, too.   Husbands, wives, girlfriends, old friends, family…business associates.   In our search for OUR needs and OUR wants, we’ve eliminated empathy from the equation.   We hurt each other and feel no remorse.  Oh yes indeed…we lie, we cheat and we steal.   Maybe not in terms of the law, but I assure you, larceny is involved.

Deceit for some is a skein of wool, to be played with at their liesure, but every ball of yarn comes unravelled and loses it’s appeal.    That means the ruthless little cat fucker needs to find another one.   He gets so bored so easily when someone discovers the chink in his armour.  What fun is it then to play when you can no longer pull the wool over someone’s eyes??    

I’m not here to preach.  I’m imperfect;  I’ve hurt people before, but I’ll tell you what, after lessons learned in the past few months,  I’ll never do it again.    You can’t play chess with someones emotions.  People are too fragile these days and once hurt, it’s difficult to recover.

But the strong do just that:  they recover and inevtiably they learn that disappointment is an unavoidable fact of life .   Heartache while damning, can also be used as an educational tool, IF we allow ourselves to be enlightened enough to view it in that way.     I now have an almost Pavlovian response to assholes.   I’ve aquired an early warning system of sorts.   Discerning this has been lesson to learn.    

Color me wiser.

As for ever blogging again, I’m still contemplating that.  You can take  the blog away from the writer,  but a writer still needs an outlet and dare I say, validation, too.  So, if I come back,  I’ll do so after a break and  IF I do, I’ll damn sure blog under an alias.    But I’ll let you know when and where I land.  If you’ve ever left a comment, you left your e-mail address.    At least most of you have left legitimate ones.   When the time is right, I’ll send out the mother of all mass mailings.

For the time being though, I’m taking a very healthy step toward self- actualization and perhaps in an oddly distorted way, this blog has helped me do this.  Time will tell, but for now,  thank you all for your support.  Even you assholes.   You actually made me a better person, once I realized your damning comments were your manfiestations of your problems; not mine.

In closing, I can only say that every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

And then I’ll also leave you with this:   It’s a horrifying thing to see  death coming at the hands of your own creation.  This is true of Oedipus and his father;  Baron Frankenstein and his monster; and metaphorically speaking, of Laurie Kendrick and her blog.

But I know a decent priest, a shrink and an alchemist.  

See you soon.

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17 comments

  1. Wow. I’ve been off blogosphere for a couple of months now and haven’t stopped by here for awhile, either. So sorry I don’t get to come back for your humor in the near future.

    Anytime you want to stop by my anon blog (but you know my REAL name), feel free. I am not nearly as funny as you, not by a landslide, but I do hit the cynical note now and then as I continue down the lane of spiritual formation.

    Keep in touch with the real me. We haven’t emailed in a while and I wonder how you are.

    Longing for a Holiday

  2. Say it isn’t so! The end to Laurie Land?
    I may have no posted comments but I have been reading your blog and love it.
    I will miss it and the satire relief from the constant reminder of a failed economy and a world of despair filled with a fascist, i mean a president whom claims hope in change but can’t seem to spare me some change and though i hope on change, but yet he gives billions to big companies, who ran with our change to other countries.

    Now, how about that audacity of Hope?

    Well, don’t run far and come back to the blogosphere soon!

  3. I’ve been a reader/lurker for a long while and truly enjoyed reading your blog. I’m sad to see you go but “you gotta do what you gotta do”. Maybe you just need a break.

    I do want to know if you decide to come back so add me to your list.

    I think I understand what you are feeling, My husband of 20+ years just walked out on me with no explanation. So, get yourself a cat and enjoy true unconditional love.

    Take care,
    P

  4. Sorry to see that you’re going. If you decide to come back to bloglife as a dog or something and only post irregularly, let me know so I can relink wherever you go.

  5. “You can’t play chess with someones emotions. People are too fragile these days and once hurt, it’s difficult to recover.”

    Laurie – you have no idea where this sentence hit me – it has shined a light on my own miserable situation – and was the proof I needed to know that the situation I’m in is not acceptable. Thank you – keep in touch you big silly. Love you – Deborah

  6. It’s often got to be like a constant phone ringing… Ring ring ring ring! I’m sure this blogging thing does indeed have a BEAST element. So sorry to see you go but only YOU know what is best for you.
    Laurie, you express incredible insights usually coinciding with your ability to create belly-laughing humor; a RARE combination. Please don’t forget to add my e-mail to your list when you return via ANY name. A rose is a rose…
    Know that I will be e-mailing you again soon — as I hope to continue with some of our dialogue ref your most fascinating and unusual experiences with the paranormal.
    God bless you, the very special Miss Kendrick!

  7. Wow. Finally find a blog worth reading and it compels me to read more and I find you have ended the run. I mourn what I have missed and more that perhaps I will miss any future musings. Can you miss something you never had? I think you can. Thank you. I my will continue to read what I missed until I’m licking my proverbial fingers at the end. Good luck and good night.

  8. Thank you for all your kind beautiful words left on my own blog over time. I wish you much peace, joy, creativity and happiness in other areas of your life or in whatever you decide to pursue until hopefully the desire to write and share your lovely soul, talent and wit with the world again returns. I hope with all my heart things work out for you on a personal level exactly as you want them to. You deserve it. Im rather tired myself with life for its inability to deal us good people a decent patient hand once in a while. I feel certain it will for you. All tbe best meanwhile – Alison xxx

  9. LK: As you know, you are the inspiration for me to blog. I started blogging as kind of a gimmick and you turned the blog world on for me. Your encouragement and critiques are always helpful and welcome. So sorry to see you go on here–but you better email me for lunch soon or there is going to be trouble! (I would insert a smiley face here–but I know how you loathe them)

    Hope to read you again soon–let me know where I can when you inevitably begin writing publicly again.

    Love ya–Murphy Scott Klasing (full name, full disclosure)

  10. A few years back, I dropped you a note telling you how you made me laugh out loud, which is something I rarely did (laughing out loud and dropping people like you notes). It’s not that I don’t find humor in a lot of what I see because I do; it’s just rare that I find something laugh-out-loud funny. I don’t mean to suggest it’s any big deal that you made me laugh, because it isn’t–to anybody but me. Laughing out loud is good for your soul, and you were good for mine, and now you know that.

    Here’s my point. There is a saying to the effect that people will forget what you say and do, but they will not forget how you make them feel. You hear this if you have gone to as many funerals as I have. Well, during the course of the past few years, I have returned to your site whenever I felt the need to feel better than I was feeling at that particular time. You have never disappointed, and I thank you for that.

    All the best, Miss Kendrich.

    .

    Charlie.

    Thank you. I am touched and humbled by your words.

    LK

  11. Sorry to see you leaving. Great blog, great laughs. Keep us posted and this blog open, it’s good to read over and over again . . . .

  12. Girl! I’ve been on a baby hiatus and come back to this?!

    My time in the blogosphere is likely over too, for different reasons. I can’t say I ever really belonged here other than as an observer but you … well, I’ll just say that I hope you return at some point. I get that you must gracefully bow out for now but I do hope to see you back some day. You have my e-mail!

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