Our ObamaNation: The First 100 Days

.obama-office

He is our president…elected by the people; not by a handful of Liberal agenda pushers fully convinced that “real change” represents ANYTHING not related to George W. Bush or that damned party he represents.    No, Obama didn’t steal the election as he did in 2000, then again in 2004.     That was a vast right wing conspiracy–the very same one that forced Clinton into having DNA rife stogie sex with that chubby, Jewess, White House intern.

Bush was also in cohoots with the CIA and NSA to “create” 9/11.     The top secret government-backed disaster was the perfect prelude needed to turn the Orwellian paranoia of Big Brother  into a reality.   The so-called terrorist attack with fake 757’s and government placed bombs on all 110 floors of both WTC towers which killed just under three-thousand people, paved the way for the The Patriot Act.   With that in place, the government can be everything that Alex Jones,  David Icke,  Art Bell, Courtney Brown, Zacharia Sitchen and every mentally impaired paranoid schizophrenic across the globe believes is true.

Not to be a pessmist, but come on!!!    Bush was a bad man and Dick Cheney?   Evil incarnate.   He was the puppet master and pulled W’s strings for eight years and look where his actions have left this country.     God knows how many additional terror attacks on American soil were thwarted, yet all he wanted was oil and to see that his cronies at Halliburton benefitted from it all.

As I said……evil.

Good thing Obama comes with no strings attached.   No one is dictating political moves to this neophyte politician.    He’s certainly the master of his domain and knows full well what bowing before Islamic fundamentalists and Hugo Chavez will do to this country.  

I applaud his courage for bucking tradition.   His philosphy of spending, spending, spending is exactly what this country needs during a time in which we teeter perilously close to a Depression, the likes of which we’ve never seen in this country.

But then again, that was Bush’s fault.   He allowed the country to fall into emotional and fiscal disrepair.  Why he was never charged with treason still amazes me.

But everything was automatically rectified on January 20, 2009.    Bush left the White House and Obama and company moved in.    We asked for change; we asked for solidarity; we demanded improvement.

And that’s exactly what we got.  

It is, isn’t it?

To answer that audacious question, let’s take a look at everything Obama has done in his first 100 days in office:

  1. Picked up a record number of airline mileage points – all on taxpayer expense.
  2. In this day and age of troubled times, allowed First Lady to bring a cadre of staff including hair stylists, maniucurists,  make-up artists,  secretaries and fashion consultants to accompany her to Europe for the G-20 conference.   All that and she still looked ridiculous while standing next to the near flawlessness of  France’s First Lady, Carla Bruni Sarkozy.
  3. Broke the Guinness Book of Records of flawless teleprompter speaking until this past week.
  4. Made Bush’s deficit look like chump change.
  5. Found more ways of raising taxes than all prior Presidents over the past 55 years combined.
  6. Successfully surrendered and/or admitted full guilt for everything from war crimes to jaywalking to every country in the world in record time.
  7. On an official state visit at the White House, he gave British PM and family,  White House Souvenir Shop trinkets and 25 U.S. videos to a man who’s battle with vision has been well publicized.
  8. Committed additional faux pas by trying to be hip in the global peepers by giving an 80-year old monarch an IPOD….a device perfect for a reigning despot who’s suffered significant hearing loss in recent years.  
  9. After having never run anything, he successfully became the Chaiman of the Board of General Motors, Chrysler and several major banks in just a few months.
  10. Officially named NBC “Secretary of Propaganda”.  
  11. Fulfilled his military obligation by agreeing to allow a few Navy SEAL sharpshooters to whack a couple of Somalian Pirates.   Some in the Obama Adminstration admitted they felt sorry for the pirates, and even fewer claimed these maritime antics were the result of Somali anger toward  poverty and harsh living conditions in their country, not to mention Bush and the evil GOP’s harsh treatment of the populace in Mogadishu.    It was as if Bush and his Republican cronies ordered the 1993 U.S. military backed apprehension of  Somali warlord,  Mohamed Farrah Aidid and his subordinates reportedly hiding in a Mogadishu marketplace.    The capture was well thought out—they had the intelligence to back up their intent.   The incident was only supposed to take 60 minutes or less.    Fifteen hours later, 1000 Somalis were dead, along with 19 American GI’s and a few Black Hawk helicopters. 
  12. With his unyeilding spending, created Pork Flu.   
  13. Fully convinced that TamiFlu is the name of sickly chick in one of the Dakotas.
  14. Successfully scared the living feces out of New Yorkers by allowing  Air Force One to hover around Manhatten at sky scraper level for a photo op without telling the 9/11 scarred masses about it.    It wasn’t even April Fool’s Day.    But after looking out of their windows and seeing this huge 747 looming large on the horizon, most New Yorkers named the day, “April Stools Day”, since that was the by-product created in undergarments that day.    
  15. Hired everyone he said he wasn’t going to hire into his administration.
  16. Created more “Czars” than Russia ever had in its entire history.
  17. Has become the hippest, most rock star-like President in history.  Makes Clinton look like a hack.  
  18. Is the only President who has made Chris Matthews’ legs tingle.
  19. Thinks Keith Olbermann is not only sane, but brilliant.

And what did Bush do in his first few months  as president?  

Not much.   He just presided over a White House Easter Egg Hunt, opened a few schools, vacationed at his Texas ranch, then dealt with the worst domestic terrorist attack in American history.

But then again, he “created” 9/11 just to hammer home his agenda.

.

13 comments

  1. I don’t know Laurie, maybe if you weren’t so fucking self-absorbed and paid attention to what happened during the tenure of your boy-god president George W. Bush, you would understand why people embrace our current leader.

    Stop it with the Dennis Miller shit. You are not funny.

    ****

    And why don’t you go fuck yourself, Sir!!

    My deepest indifference,
    LK

  2. WOW!!!!
    Excellent!!!
    If only there was some sort of national media that would publish your post.
    Fantastic!!!

    Kev

  3. Wow, i don’t know what to say. I can’t tell if you are beating upBush or Obama or both. I used to like Bush but I do believe he had the country’s best interest at heart. It is just too early to tell how far Obama is willing to go.

  4. Interesting post LK. I’m also having a hard time getting a read on your stance, even knowing that you probably voted twice for W. It’s your great sense of humor that is getting in the way maybe. Or you actually have the balanced wit of a careful observer.

    I think W went most wrong after 9/11, though clearly we had to bomb SOMEone by Halloween didn’t we? We had the world’s sympathy then, but we were severely terrorized, which is just what those f–king terrorists wanted.

    I don’t trust Obama any more than I trust any other politician, but I choose to be optimistic. Right up to the apocalypse.

    I think I might have pork flu. What are the symptoms? We had some bacon this morning. SHIT.

    David Dahlink,

    I do believe the symptoms in this case are reckless spending, cow towing to Big Business under fellacious circumstances. (Chrysler needs to understand that while paper mache is cheap and “green” to a degree, it is by NO MEANS, the substance that should be used to construct fuel tanks!!) and risking national security by bowing before every global offender of Democracy AND the firm belief that Rosie O’Donnell is talented and merely big boned.

    I actually think I had porcine flu two weeks ago. It felled me like a Sequoia. It was either that or that flu was a bad muthu…

    SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

    But I’m talkin’ bout flu….

    Then you can dig it.

    Hope you’re well, Mr. L.

    LK

  5. What’s that saying going around-“Obama will be president when “pigs fly”.

    A-ha! SWINE FLU.

    I’m giving him a chance. He hasn’t been in office six months.

  6. Mr Durham-

    Insults and personal attacks are not valid arguments.

    In fact, your rhetoric is the reason why the school voucher plan is so important. Clearly, the public school system did not equip you to participate in any type of cogent exchange or reasonable intellectual exchange. Nothing you said contravened any of LK’s arguments or rationale.

    Let me be clear, in a way you can best relate: You are an ape in a tuxedo. You can teach an ape to dance, you might even be able teach an ape to use a knife and fork, but in the end, those around you will not believe anything but what is true- you remain an ape.

    You can pretend to be equipped with reasonable intellectual capacities (exemplified by petty personal attacks) and your rather shallow capacities might be appreciated by other like minded uneducated folk who are unable to articulate an cohesive and thoughtful argument.

    Like all apes in tuxedos, the only ones who actually believe that the camouflage is effective is yourself and the other apes. Serious people and thinking people are no more than amused at your sophomoric antics and pretend capacities.

    Still, in the spirit of generosity, let me say you are entertaining, in a circus kind of way.

    You Ms Kendrick an apology.

  7. Since I am Laurie’s older, not oldest sister, I must come to her defense on Durham Dick’s comment. First , too, am an Obama supporter and I get offended by what people say about him but I’m not that politically assertive to come to his rescue. But when personal attacks against my sister are displayed publicly I will not hold back-be you democrat or republican.

    Secondly, Laurie has written like this, entertaining people for as long as I can remember. Sorry neither one of you thinks she’s funny but that’s your own opinion . Why do you go on her blog and trash her? You’ve called her an idiot, that she wasn’t funny, rude and self absorbed. What do you possibly know about her personally? Those kinds of attacks were totally uncalled for, especially on a blog. She should block you two pathetic souls from coming back on.

    Thirdly, Dennis Miller writes like her!!!!!

  8. Initially, I came here just to comment on your post. After reading all the other comments I forgot what the hell I came here for in the first place and was reminded why it is that I generally dislike most people. I’m not talking about you Karol.

  9. Now that I’ve sat back awhile, I remember that I wanted to say that the picture of Obama with his head inside the Presidential Seal looks like a halo.

  10. I’m sure you can get a $20 framed and glass covered copy of it out of a mini-van here on highway 6. Yes, it’s big business out here.

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