The Tao of Aging

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You reach a certain age and you take a look at that image in the mirror that looks like a MAD Magazine bad artist rendering of yourself and you think, “Damn!  Where has all the time gone??”    tao-red

Oh, it’s there mt friend.  Oh yes…it’s there.  Look down:  it’s in those two, pendulous salami tubes you used to call breasts.

It’s in that  expanding propane tank you call a gut and that prostate gland, now the size of the Epcot globe

Wednesday, I officially “reach that certain age”.     While I still look damn good (a few years ago, Strom Thurmond slobbered in my direction), it’s sad to see so many beloved, iconic toys and animated characters age…the very ones that entertained  and enthralled me while airing on ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS if you consider “Davey and Goliath”, which we rarely did.

In honor of my big 50th BD tomorrow, I decided to look up a few of these old toy and cartoon fave raves of mine, just to compare how good I look and how wrinkled and crinkled they’ve  become.

As we all know, Barbie that Mattell fashion doll that every little girl and effeminate boy adored, turns 50 this year.

Apparently, she spent a lot of the time scampering  (sans sunscreen) on the beach at Malibu.

old-babrie

That old gray mare just ain’t what she used to be.  AND YES, I MEAN MARE!!!!   Ever seen her naked?

Jeez, look  at Popeye.    His jones for spinach must’ve turned into ones for prunes.

old-popeye

Good Lord!    Charlie Brown??????

old-charlie-brown

Tweety Bird turned 60 in March!!

tweety

Hydro-encephaly at his age?   Never good.

Feast your eyes upon Ken.   Two photos here:   Ken then; Ken now

old-ken

TSk…tsk…tsk.  See his temples?   My, he’s gotten older………..and gayer.

You won’t believe the way TV’s Theodore Cleaver from the sitcom, “Leave It To Beaver” looks.   

old-beaver

Hhhh’mmmm…..wasn’t he killed in Nam?

Look how distinguished Bugs Bunny looks!!!

old-bugs-bunny

Wow, 69-nine years old and only one gray hare.

And finally, he’s not a cartoon character or even from my youth.   He’s from my recent past… 2007 to be exact.   That’s the year Javier Bardem won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor from the critically acclaimed flick,  “No Country For Old Men”.    I merely wanted to update you on a few just

He’s seen here, in the role that made him famous:

javier-bardem-old2

The brooding Spanish actor must be suffering from the dreaded Oscar curse.    His once meteoric career has now faultered and in just two short years!!!    He now gets bit parts on Infomercials and:

scooby_doo-villain

he plays a villain in occasional dinner theatre  productions which focus on four teenage actors and an aphasic Great Dane,  who drive around in a psuedo-psychodelic painted mini-van and solve mysteries while etrying to cope with Casey Kasem’s irritating ‘younger man” voice uttering “Yikkees”.

Bardem usually dons a monster or ghost costume to make  sure a certain piece of property seem haunted and in doing so,  that thwarts buyers from purchasing the old grist mill  so the mean nemisis can sell to Big Business Paving for big dollars so they can convert the land into extended 20 mile lane of I-97, through Mapleville, Any State, U.S.A.

Bardem’s only line thus far has been, “And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!!!” 

See gh.

4 comments

  1. Happy belated Birthday, Laurie! I’m glad to see you’ve not written about turning into a pumpkin or anything… I think you’ll see, as time goes by, “50” is/was just another day, another number. Time to celebrate being alive! and to embace all of the new life challenges and opportunities that are sure to come your way. Keep on truckin’ because all of it has purpose and value. Meanwhile, hope you’ll continue to keep your readers laughing and thinking and connecting to your life.

  2. Happy Birthday Laurie Kendrick!!

    I think you’ll find that 50 is the new 49, which equals 7 times 7 and everybody knows that’s super good luck. But seriously, I hope you have a wonderful day and wish that amazing sense of humor of yours will prevail over the senescent gloom.

  3. Nanny, nanny nifty! Laurie turns 50!!! Happy Birthday, bitch.

    Laurie’s been with me and mother all week and we’ve had a good time. She got some nice birthday “goods” already but since today is actually her birthday, we’re doing San Antonio tonight.

    Karol

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