This Blog Is A Woman Now

 

 einstein-lk-blog-2-birthday2

 That’s right.  

My blog has grown and matured. She turns two-years-old, this  month.    Wow, that’s that’s 19 in blog years and as Gary Puckett once warbled,  “she’s found out, what it’s all about and she’s learning (trombone and baritone sustained “G” note) learning to live“.

Over the past two years, this blog has been through its paces.   She and I have both been stalked, assaulted,  we’ve argued, reasoned and laughed…a lot.  We’ve refereed fights and  hell, I’ve even thrown a few punches myself.  

Even after all of that growth, all those experiences, it’s still hard to believe my blog baby is two!    TWO!!!!!! Where has the time gone? I remember the day it was born….like it was yesterday…just like yesterday…

(Initiate FLASHBSACK sequence)

I woke up one morning in March, 2007 feeling a little out of sorts. I’d been carrying around the idea of starting a blog in my head for the past nine months and my brain was just full of stories, brimming actually, and I knew that something had to be done. My imagination was plump with vile, comedic ideas and long, rambling stories that have absolutely no social relevance.

So, I called my OB/PSYCH, who urged me to come to the library as soon as possible. I waddled into the Emergency Reading Room and told the librarian that I was there to give birth to my first creative process via the written word.

She brought me into to the ERR and told me to sit down at a computer desk and place my hands own the keyboard. I was nervous; I’d never given birth to a literary brain child before. So, I sat there all by myself and a million thoughts were running through my head.

I should tell you that at this particular point in time in my life, I was an unwed blogger. I’d be writing this blog all by myself. I knew it would be a tremendous responsibility trying to write comedy all alone on a daily basis, but I was OK with that; a lot of women were doing it…even the older ones; a guild in which which I happen to be a member. But make no mistake, I knew that I was still quite viable as an older female blogger. I was and still am fully capable of mixed metaphors and multiple sarcasms.

My OB/PSYCH entered the ERR and sat down beside me. We spoke briefly and then, he asked how I would to deliver my blog. Would I do it myself or would I use a surrogate writer? I told him that I’d be the sole writer. He then asked me how I’d raise my blog and I responded that while rather limited in style and scope, I felt it best that my blog start out in a WordPress environment, mainly because it was free, which was perfect for my situation at the time.

He agreed.

He then asked if I was ready. I told him that I was.

At first, we thought my blog was in a breach position. Someone else was already using the blog name I wanted, so that was rectified; I decided to use my own name. Seconds later, ideas started spewing forth through my fingers and the keyboard was ablaze and my screen was filled with self-perceived brilliance. Delivery was a piece of cake and relatively swift.

No precepts were used to pull posts out of me.

I immediately took my blog home to the office I had prepared for it. I painted it sunny yellow and above my desk, I hung an inspirational mobile featuring the likenesses  of John Stienbeck,  Pearl S. Buck and Suzanne Sommers, you know, the literary giants.

In the beginning, my blog was typical in that it had a voracious appetite. I fed it constantly. Posts about me and my life mostl.   Then, as I got to know my blog and what it could and would digest. Initially, it suckled on the teat of conformity. That worked well in the beginning, but then I wanted to try new things. I wanted to pluck freely from the arsenal that was being replenished daily by my fertile imaginata.

Eventually, I attempted observational humor, then moved on to opinion pieces and satire. I recently added a little political punditry to its diet. I had to pull back a little when I realized my blog was severely allergic to some things. Namely, certain Democrats.  It may come as no surprise that many Conservative blogs also suffer the same nut allergy.

My blog did as nature intended: it crawled in the beginning. Slowly, carefully.

Now, this isn’t to say that mistakes haven’t been made. Sure, I made a few along the way, but I was a first time blogger! I was overprotective; cautious… even so, I still made mistakes many times. Now, those things were bound to happen, but it was in stumbling and falling that I learned so much.

I’ve tried to be a good blogger; a devoted blogger and I believe I can say without hesitation that I’ve always been extremely attentive. I’ve cared for my blog and nurtured it. Doted on it, actually. Every other hour, I’d obsessively check  its Dashboard for comments. I’d go in and change it’s disposable diatribes whenever they were messy.

It developed well. Within a few months, I taught it all about widgets and photo insertion and even how to embed videos. It was responding to me, too. Its views were increasing exponentially. I was happy. My blog was growing up.

But as I stated earlier, there have been hits and misses; successes and failures; such as the case with any brain-child. And my blog has had it’s share.

In November, 2007, it was nominated (much to my surprise) as one of the 12 Funniest Blogs in that year’s Weblog Awards. I was nervous and anxious for my little seven month old effort. It was so young and inexperienced and up against much older, far more established blogs.

Well, long story short, it came in dead last in the voting. Out of more than 19-thousand votes cast in that category, my blog received less than 250 total. It was bad; nay, it was horrible!!

The Buffalo Bills ’71 season kind of horrible.

My blog understandably, went into a 404 systems error for a while after that, but I understood. It needed downtime to process. The nomination and subsequent loss in the Weblog Awards was it’s first real introduction to that wacky real life theory of convergence: that good and bad things often happen at the same time. It was a disappointment, but I earned many more readers as a result of that exposure.  

I was very proud of  my blog for that accomplishment in it’s rookie year. Very proud, indeed. It was an honor just to be nominated.

THAT FUCKING CONTEST WAS RIGGED!!!!

 Oh, I’m so sorry and quite embarrassed by that outburst. You see, my humor blog suffers from sporadic and intermittent Tourette’s Syndrome. It was born with it.

You know, a mirth defect.

Anyway, we’ve recovered and life has moved on and so have we. Two years later,  my blog has received just under 352-thousand hits/views  (whatever they’re called)  as of  this writing.

The past two years as a tenant in this big, multi-family, public housing unit we call the blogosphere, has been wonderful. I’ve met some extraordinary people; some I know will remain in my life, for the rest of my life and I am grateful.

It’s been a tremendous second year and one  which will witness me turning 50.  I don’t kow what that milestone will mean to my blog, I guess I’ll find out.    I’ll admit, it’s getting harder to come up with new stuff.  I have original stuff and in some posts, I take jokes and write around the punch line in an attempt to give it a life or sorts, but that can wear thin after a while.    I don’t have any computer extras and I’m limited in scope as to what can be done the Fisher/Price model I have right now.  I love to write and blogging only allows a morsel of that passion to run amuk.  So, I’ve seriously been thinking about writing a book soon.  It would be a series of ridiculous short stories.  I anticipate tens of people buying it and even fewer reading it.

Lastly, to my readers; I thank you all from the bottom of my slightly enlarged heart. I’ve given you two years and you’ve given me a reason to write. I am indebted. I appreciate your input and your support so very, very much. There are literally millions of blogs out there and you choose to read mine and you come here of your own accord, you sample my writing and some don’t come back, but many of you do daily…some hourly. You leave comments that are good, bad and indifferent. I hope you always will tell me what you think.

As long as it doesn’t reflect badly on me.

Anyway, stay with me for the time we have left together and I promise, there will be more comedy to come.  I won’t always bat a thousand, but I’ll take a swing at every pitch.

Thank you for coming and don’t forget the speakers..

,

9 comments

  1. Happy Birthday, Little Blog! I never thought about this but Karol and I are your Aunties. It has been awfully fun watching you grow into a “Big Girl” yes, it is a female cause only a gal could have come up with some of the stuff you have had! No offense, guys.
    Seriously, Laurie, we have always known your talents and that one day you WILL be successful in all of your writing accomplishmnets. When that does happen, CAN I COME LIVE WITH YOU!!!??????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?Make sure that you have a maid and a nice pool(with a pool boy)and lots of good eats and treats. Karol wants to come, too. Keep on trucking, girl, but hurry up on the success part before we get too old to enjoy that pool(and pool boy, too!!)

  2. Laurie-

    When you do make it big, buy a mountain view condo big enough for all your family to come to. Then you, Kathy and I can fly to NYC around Christmas time and shop and go to Broadway shows. Summertime calls for going to Savannah to visit Paula. Send the plane for us. (teehee)

    You’ll be so successful that Kathy and I will be able to come live with you-but not in Houston.

    Seriously, happy birthday to your little bloggett. It’s like giving birth to your first child. This little blog has disappointed you and made you mad on one hand and turned around and made you happy on the other. This is like raising a child.

    Keep up the good work. Maybe she could have a sibling sometime down the road.

  3. Can I come too? I really really want to go to New York City. Weren’t we supposed to do that for our 50 Laurie?

  4. Kudos to you. I admire and respect your web-based tenacity and sticktoitivness. You crack me up and piss me off all sometimes in the same day. Not many writers can do that for me, that makes you pretty damn good in my opinion.

    Bravo Bella
    Ciao
    Kelly

  5. Happy Birthday to you AND your hot little blog-daughter! She’s a beauty all right! Two years of high quality bloggin! You shoulda won! You shoulda won!

    Count me among the tens of people that would buy that book of yours in a heartbeat! Even if I am a left-wing nut job! God bless the librarians for seating you at the computer!

  6. Ha! OB/PSYCH.

    I’ll be reading your blog for as long as it’s here, until the very day before it leaves the nest. Even after that I’ll have to sit down and look at the old material and reminisce with you about how entertaining it was.

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