More Crap + A Bonus Track

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you’d be Bill Belichick AND you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months–only allowing a few seconds to pass between fartonic sessions, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. Wow…that makes the average ass the Enola Gay? What a concept!!!

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. And detective on any police force will tell you that.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. That explains a great deal about Amy Winehouse’s thinness and mental prowess.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. Gee, I wonder if female dolphins ever get headaches? Do they bloat and retain water? And if they dolphinate every 28 days, do they crave krill? Tampons must be a BITCH to manipulate in a water invironment. Kinda defeats the porpoise, does it not? (I know…that sucked and was beneath me)

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. Ooof.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath but there are many…though there are MANY people I know I wish would give it a shot.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. In turn, pizza eats through 18 acres of intestinal lining every day.

 Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. Wow…times have changed. Today’s, priest merely plucks altar boys.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. They’re worthless when you need someone to lick a stamp.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Ants are cool. They’re strong and hardworking, yet they party like a Kennedy.

Polar bears are left handed. OK…..

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. That”s obvious. Batter ’em up in some cornmeal then fry them bad boys up and they be tastin’ good.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that’s like Evel Kneival jumping the length of a football field.

 The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. Big deal. I did that after a date last Saturday!

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Big deal! Former President Clinton hit that number by mid-morning.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

A cat’s urine glows under a blacklight. And really, who’s doesn’t?

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

Starfishes haven’t got brains. Neither does half of Washington.

 BONUS…BONUS…BONUS... (Interesting word, “bonus”. Must be a boner’s Roman cousin)…BONUS.

Some sent me this video of a crazy Indian traffic jam. No rules, no cops…not an ounce of logic or sanity or injuries, surprisingly enough.  

But have you ever seen this…

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And actually thought this???

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INSTRUCTIONS: Start the second  video and once you  hear the guitar playing start the music countdown, start the top video.   Watch them simultaneously with the volume up.  I found these quite by accident mriacles of miracles, they sync up rather well.

 It’s like playing Black Sabbath backwards, man….

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4 comments

  1. If these objects in both videos were talking as well as moving around, I would almost compare it to one of our family reunions-running into each other, interrupting conversations, and basically going nowhere, except to the buffet table!

  2. Greg, I’ve been down there-I know what you’re talking about.

    Kathy, that’s so true!!!!

  3. “Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. That explains a great deal about Amy Winehouse thinness and mental prowess.”

    *SNORT!!*

    Love the video sync. Very cute.

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