Happy, Happy Weekend!!!!

.

Reader 1:   Why is LK so happy?   She never wishes us a happy weekend!

Reader 2:    Yeah…Gee Wally, what gives?   She’s usually as ornery as a Haskell.  She puts the piss in pessimism! 

Reader 3:  That makes no sense.

Reader 2:   Well, in print it doesn’t.

Reader 1:   So, why then did you……?   It’s not even spelled the….  Oh never mind, but it is a wee bit disconcerting whenever this broad is in a decent mood, much less when she’s outright happy.

Reader 3:  Yeah, you’re right.   Something is up.  I don’t know what it is, but I think I should warn you all–gurd your loins!!!

LK:  Fear not, readers dear.   I am in a good mood and there will be no repurcussions as a result.

Reader 2:  Uh, did you get laid then?

LK:  No..and what exactly is “getting laid”?   I seem to have forgotten.

Reader 3:   Do we have a lottery winner in our midst?

Reader 2:  Did you meet a nice guy who’s loaded?

Reader 2:  Have you become a really successful prostitute?  Did poverty force you to swallow your pride…and that of about 6000 different men at 50 bucks a pop?

LK:  To answer all three of your queries:  no, no dammit and HELL no!    Settle down and I’ll explain why I’m smiling.

You see, I had a very important job interview with an entity under the auspicies of Harris County, of which Houston is the county seat.   It’s media related and will be a sizeable advance in scope, scoop, and sciput.   That’s what the ancient Hebrews called cash.    I don’t know, I’m lying.

Anyway,  the job would be a tremendous feather in le chappeau du Laurie.   Not only that, I think I could do a great job at this job.    More interviews are being conducted through Monday, but as I see it, I’ve got it in the bag.   After I walked out of the building, I looked around.   Lovely edifice…nestled amid the huge pines of NW Harris County.   As I walked to my car, I noticed that the building street number on the facade was not only low, but rather loose.   So, I burped sulfur as I donned horns, a tail and cloven hooves as I changed the numbers.

 How deviously delicious is that???  

(Inswert evil laugh with a clown photographed at a funky angle.  Like a scene out of “Batman”…the Adam West version, thank you!!)

Wanna know what I did.   Well, 4690 West Hughes is now 9064 West Hughes.   Potential candidates will never find that building….ever!!

This job is mine.   My vast journalist acumen be damned!!!   Sometimes, you just have to screw with fate.

And building street addresses.

In the meantime and before Judeo/Catholic guilt makes me feel otherwise, I am happy and content and yes, dare I say optimistic.

And my readers–both of you–will reap the benefits.  

My gift to you?   Wonderful, hoot-filled cartoons to read and forward to your likewise  skewed and deviant friends, until I return Monday….paler, weaker and 17 pounds lighter after a  gut gnawing, guilt and angst ridden weekend.

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 

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13 comments

  1. best of luck! I hope you’re hired! And lmao @ the number switching – ingenius! Dastardly! Underhanded! If I were a man, I’d be in love. LOL

  2. I really hope this works out. Yes, it is ingenious. I’m really curious where this is. I’m not asking, I know you’d say if you wanted us to know right now. I looked up the address. I didn’t find what I was looking for on the first page but the second result was this very post with your name all over it. Would it be a problem if your potential employer saw this?

  3. My Darling G-Man,

    My use frequent use of poetic license and hyperbole are two of the things I’m known far. Roughly 84 percent of what I write is based on truth and verifiable fact; the rest is employed for entertainment purposes and effect. You know, like a delightful chocolate ganache, drizzled ever so slightly on a cake..

    Otherwise, my life would appear just plan damn boring. Yes, many of the stuff actually happened. The rest of it is designed by that big creative architecture firm in my head.

    For starters, I never touched the street numbers on the building and completely made up the Hughes Avene. I wasn’t even aware of that there was/is a Hughes street.

    ACtually, I want to keep the entity with which I interviewed under wraps and considering my on-air reputation and that of my blog, I’ll probably keep it quiet even after I’m hired (PLEASE GOD!!!!)

    Keep your fingers crossed.

    Thanks,
    LK

  4. Oh Laurie…..It like talking about a no-hitter while the game is in progress. You just don’t do it until it is in the books!

  5. A few months ago, I would have agreed with you Rick. But I’ve emerged from that mindset recently. I now understand the basic premise that is “intent”. Live it like you have it, want it like you need it and be thankful for the outcome–favorable or not.

    Did I “jinx” myself by even mentioning potential employment on my blog? I did ONLY if I believe in the concept, which I don’t. I just don’t think the world works like that. Optimism has it’s place in our lives and I know for a fact, it can have a positive effect on outcome. Yes, I know, if I believe in good, I also have to believe in evil and God knows that swirls around us like a huge ectoplamic pain in the ass. And no, I’m now some New Age/Metaphysical freak running around with crystals and lit smudge sticks. I’m just me, a lowly middle aged broad who chooses to look at life differently.

    I appreciate your concern, Rick–I really do, but I didn’t jinx myself. I simply won’t allow that and to be honest, the only “Jinx” I know was the name of the lead singer from the early 70’s group “Coven” and she sang lead in the song “One Tin Soldier”, from the incredibly silly and oh so dated movie, “Billy Jack”.

    LK

  6. Billy Jack, oh my gosh, I forgot all about that movie!!! I wonder why we don’t see it on TV Land late at night?

    Today is Prom day for KC. I think you should do a post about our Proms. I have pictures if you need them!!!!!

    I am keeping my fingers crossed, toes, ect. for you!!!

  7. Cheryl, that’s a great idea. Laurie’s readers could see her prom dress and that tux Albert wore. They were so cute together-they color coordinated! Good ol Albert-he was a hunk. . . and still is.

  8. Thank you Karol. I think it would be a hoot if she wrote a post about our Jr and Sr. prom. I remember a lot about our Jr prom, not much about our Sr. prom. Times have changed that is for sure!

    Well I am off to the Jr/Sr breakfast! Then I see an argument in my future as to where my senior might go to finish out the night! No sleep for me.

  9. Laurie’s written so much about past experiences, I think she has yet to write about past proms. Mine were unforgettable (we won’t go there) and I think it would bring back some good and some maybe not so good memories for her readers. You know, who wore what, who was the bland that played, prom themes, etc. I know I’d like to read about them. Cheryl, did you go with Kenedy’s own Chip R? His sister dated my high school boyfriend before I did.

  10. Chip R. and I dated the summer of ’78. That was the best summer of my life! I was crazy about him. I still have the promise ring he gave me. His promise of nothing!!!!

  11. Cheryl,

    I still have the green glass (it sure wasn’t emerald) “promise to be promised” ring I got from MM in 8th grade. Several “stones” were missing and he told me the reason for their absence was that he and Chris B.were playing football and he had the ring in his jean’s pocket.

    Did I buy that excuse then? No. He was just 14 and a poor kid and I knew that. He probably found the thing lying around somewhere…probably on the street. It was the thought that counted. He meant well.

    I haven’t looked it in a while, but the last time it did, it was rusting…not tarnishing, RUSTING.

    Men have have no idea that we know what we know. They think they pull the wool over our eyes with lies and fables and more often than not, men take far more than give.

    Men. My heterosexuality is such a pain in the ass at times. Love ’em; loathe ’em. Need ’em; don’t want ’em’ can’t exist without they. Men confound me. They lie, cheat, wiggle out of responsibilies, then can be cruel and aloof; boorish and obstreperous. Many don’t possess a tender bone in their bodies. Gee, when you think about it, they’re really a rather repulsive lot at times, aren’t they. Then again, today isn’t really a good day for me to comment on the opposite sex.

    LK

  12. I’m sure in my past I was lied to by some boyfriends but I was so naive I didn’t see or maybe didn’t want to see just how cruel they could be. However, I was caught in a lie by a guy I casually dated and when he found me out, we both cried and yelled. I felt so guilty. I received a dozen yellow roses the next day with a card saying he understood. But I let him go to be with an old high school boyfriend who I dated for eons.

    He was a hunk, too.

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