Rim Shot Worthy

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She  asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said,  ‘Dust!”


I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

The waiter then asked, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””

I answered, “Nah, she can order for herself.”



A woman is standing nude, looking  in the bedroom mirror.

She’s not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Well, your eyesight’s just about perfect.’


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light  for  $16.00.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.


My wife asked me if a certain dress made her  behind look big.

I told her not as much as the dress she  wore yesterday..



My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire?” while we were in bed. I turned to  her and  said, “Do you want to have  sex?”

“No,” she   answered.

I then said, “Is that your final  answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time,  simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like  to phone a  friend.”

And that’s when the fight started….



  1. I’ve been missin’ ya LK. I took another 3 weeks off from blogging to get over multiple health issues. And now I’m reading your posts like a mad man, a mad man I tell ya! Hope all is well with you–we need to do lunch again soon–that was fun.


And now, you may opine your ass off...

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