Amanda Worthan

It was early June, 1977 and my parents and I were loaded to our small town gills with luggage when we walked into my room at Kinsolving, an all girls’ dorm on the campus of the University of Texas at Austin.

I was a Freshman and Kinsolving would help provide me with a safe, stable entre into the world of higher education.  It was a far cry from the quiet pace  (read: doldrums) of the tiny berg I just left.

Kinsolving was (and perhaps, still is) the classic college dormitory. It looked like every setting for every college movie ever made between 1948 and 1964. A place where the cute sorority got pinned, lavaliere’d or engaged to Tom, the campus hunk who Mindy Sue met at the 1958 Senior Spring Hop at Gregory Gym.

Would college produce the same fate for me?

Highly unlikely.

At the time I had dreams of being a broadcaster. Marriage could wait. I had things to do first, namely, I wanted to conquer TV and radio and become a freakin’ media darling.  Thirty plus years later, I’m just “freakin'”.

Back to 1977.

My roommate, Amanda Worthan was sitting on her bed as Mater, Pater and I entered the inner sanctum that would provide a respite, no matter how brief, from any perils that might be found within  hallowed halls  of academic matriculation.

Amanda was a lovely girl. Pretty face. Tallish, medium build and vivid blue eyes that while pretty were, for lack of a better description, indicated a tiny bit of vapidity.

She seemed kind,friendly and outgoing, but you got the idea in the first few minutes of a conversation that for her, college was going to provide more a more more social event than an academic one.   She made it clear right off that bat that she was on a manhunt pursuing her M-R-S.  A degree be damned.

And that was perfectly fine for Amanda. But not for me. Now, I’m no Marilyn Vos Savant by any stretch, but I’ve been given enough smarts to fake it. Amanda wasn’t mentally endowed and in spite of our differences and degrees of ambition, we got along quite well. She really was as sweet as the day is long. A very kind woman. She helped make my Freshman experience at college a good one. I’ll always thank her for that.

One day, we went shopping on The Drag, a bohemian little street of shops, the University Co-op, bookstores, freaky boutiques and health food stores.   She wanted to stop at a record shop to by an album she wanted.

We arrived at the store and she went her way and I went mine. I was really into The Baby’s at the time and was perusing a few of their albums when an exasperated Amanda walked up to me with furrowed brow.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I can’t find that album anywhere!!”

“Are you looking in the rock and roll section?”

“Yeah and I’ve looked through the “O’s about a hundred times!”

“Maybe I can help.  Who’s the band?”

Oreo Speedwagon???”

.

Wait.
There’s one more Amanda Worthan story I simply have to convey.

.

Dorm life back in the late 70’s was kind of square. We decided to move in to an apartment after the Spring semester. I was working as a Bridal Consultant for an Austin department store and one Saturday night as I was preparing to leave work, she called and asked what I was doing. I had no plans, I fully intended to come straight home.

She told me that she was glad; she had no plans either and thought we could have a few bottles of wine while putting together this “killer jigsaw” puzzle she just bought. I told her it sounded like fun, and she said it probably would be if she could figure out how to get the damn thing started. She said she couldn’t make sense of the pieces.

They all looked alike.

I reminded her that’s the nature of jigsaw puzzles. I then asked her about the puzzle’s theme. She told me that as best she could tell, it had something to do with nature and that the front of the box indicated that a tiger would be a prominent image.

I drove home, looking forward to a nice, quiet Saturday night for a change. A few glasses of wine would provide welcome relief from the hassles of the day.

I walked through the front door and there was Amanda, sitting on the floor beside the coffee table with the contents of the puzzle box spread across the varnished surface.

I took one look at the puzzle pieces; one look at the box–yes, the tiger was clearly visible on the front–then, I quietly went into kitchen to pour myself one extremely large glass of wine….and to ponder what I’d just seen.  I shook my head, took a sip of wine, stifled a laugh then returned to the living room with glass in hand.

“Hey, where’s my vino? I don’t get any?”

I answered, “No Amanda, not yet. I’ll pour you some wine the minute you get all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

.

65 comments

  1. Many thanks for all your well wishes. My granddaughter is the most beautiful baby in the world. I’m not a proud grandmother, am I? She’s petite and she’s got my heart forever. Mother and baby come home today.

    Sorry there will be no pictures but you all can visualize what she looks like by looking at the picture of me and Laurie. Put us two together and you can get an idea. However, Emily is a whole lot prettier.

  2. But you were the beautiful one, Sister Dear. A beauty pageant finalist. A twirler…kind of. Best Dressed in High School.

    Yes indeed, your beauty outshone my dreadful cro-mag face and bod. Physically, I was a slug. What a drag it was to be smarter and funnier and ridiculously more talented than half the world.

    You’re right, Karol…just fuckin’ ugly.

    Jane Dupnik

  3. We’re not coyote ugly, either, Lar. But if you look at our parents, we had no chance. Time didn’t do a bad job on us. I think we’re easy on the eyes, just not runway beautiful.

    i wasn’t a twirler. I had to try out because daddy wanted me to and I had a lousy coach. I loved cheerleading as we three did.

  4. Karol…what are you talking about????? We’re all good looking.I know people who called us “stunning”; that we had/have magazine good looks. .

    In fact, I used to be a runway model—–at La Guardia.

  5. Maybe you are but I’m certainly not. Cameras are so cruel to me as was explained to me by my late mother in law.

  6. Laurie admit it, you’re the oldest one of us three. You might be the shortest but you’re the one who’s 57.

  7. Maternal great grandfather.

    He was Sheriff or something and stole some money or his cretin son did and out of shame, he was ( as our proud mother would have the story go) cleaning the barrel of his shotgun…………….with his tongue, when it accidentally went off and blew his head to Cotulla.

  8. Not worried. He’s probably a crusty old man, anyway, who goes from post to post, looking for companionship. Just happens he “stumblith on your counsel”. hahahahaha

  9. How comes thou hither. Tell me and wherefore. the orchard walls are high and hard to climb and the place is death considering who thou art. If any of thy kinsman find thee heeeeeeeeeyuh…….!

  10. My eyes have not yet drunk . . . yet I am an enemy to thee!

    Give me, give me. Tell me not to feahhhh.

    She’s dead! She’s dead! Juliett, she’s dead!!!!!

    hohohohohoho

  11. one more romeo and juliett-

    …and I for winking at your discords, too. all are puni-shed!

    ALL ARE PUNI-SHED!!!!!!!

    the end

  12. Elenora Poltiss was Barney’s voice teacher.

    Asa was a security guard at the bank.

    Mrs. Vleck sold Barney her car with sawdust in the drive train?

    Or was that Mrs Lesch??

  13. Clara had two different last names in the series: what were they?

    What was Charlene Darlin’s husband’s name and what did she name her daughter?

    Name the original owners of the haunted house with Ope, the a baseball, Otis and the still?

    What was the rumor re: the crime the owner of that house allegedly committed? Must be verbatim from Gomer

  14. Clara’s first name was Beulah.

    Charlene’s husband was Dud Walsh and she name her daughter Andylina.

    Mr. Remshaw was the owner of the haunted house.

    Mr. Remshaw supposedly chained up his _____ and killed him with an ax. I can’t remember what Gomer called it.

  15. “Hired man”.

    TV repairman also played ernest t bass…actors name was Howard Morris

    smelled like kerosine

    Clara was also Edwards and Johnson..her first orignally was Bertha

  16. “Hired man”.

    TV repairman also played ernest t bass…actors name was Howard Morris

    smelled like kerosene

    Clara was also Edwards and Johnson..her first orignally was Bertha

  17. kerosene was what the pickles tasted like. ammonia was what the orange marmalade smelled like.

  18. where was the stranger in town originally from? where did barney think he was from? why did the stranger come to mayberry?

  19. He was an army buddy of someone. I think he came from Chicago and he fell in love with Mayberry and knew all the players from reading the Mayberry Gazette.

    Can’t play any more. Gotta shower for my interview. Hey Karol, the Good Prince Lacleot and Lilli of the Valley is on right now.

    Wish me luck

  20. Are you back from interview? Too late to wish you luck – I’ll do anyway.
    Good luck – if not with this then with the next one!

    [thanks for this post and the comments. Maybe we’ll make it a meme – and I’ll write about my college roomates, too. The first college.]

And now, you may opine your ass off...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s