Hedging Your Bets

Response from the teacher:

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True or False questions from only three chapters of material.   Three very short chapters, might I add.   For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution, I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole eight points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions.  There was no C answer.  Obviously, you did this in an attempt to get “lucky” with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question.   More than likely you didn’t.   My TA, Ms. Phelps, said  you turned in your test form 36 seconds after you received it.   That would be deemed impossible for any normal student who doesn’t fall under the category of sociopath.

And this emboldened attempt on your part to “scam the system”,  dealt a devastating blow to your overall grade in this class to 0, goose egg, zilch, nada, cue ball, sqat, vacuous emptiness and of course,  Satan’s asshole.   Sorry Michael, but this is what you kids today call, “epic fail”.

That said, I’ll see you next year and may God have mercy on your soul.


Good luck in prison,
Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.  Besides, I hear B is the new C


And now, you may opine your ass off...

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