The E-Mails & E-Miles Between Them Pt. 2

Good morning;

I know you didn’t sleep at all last night because of the number of e-mail I had waiting for me this morning.  And about that last e-mail…tell me, is this mood fluctuation nonsense real  and actually a part of the more sinister and hellish realities of menopause?   Because if it is, I’m seriously considering filing suit against your ovaries–or what’s left of them.   A man can only endure so much.

Enough with the romantic talk.  I have meetings most of the day and won’t be around much.   I’ll call later tonight.  Will you be around?   I’ll get in very late.    Do you want me to wake you?

And by the way, am I correct in assuming hats off to you for finally mastering peeing while sitting down?   I consider that quite an accomplishment for a woman of your stature.

Til tonight,





That photo of you at the bottom of the bowl was all the inspiration I needed.  Thanks for the applause and the inspiration.   You look good in yellow, by the way.

Yeah, I know you’re swamped.  Call later.  I’ll be around.  ‘Twas a bitch day at work.   I think I have fallen in the midst of a bad Susan Hayward movie.

I miss you.




You are a funny lady.   Funny looking….

All my something.. I just don’t know what at this juncture.



Hi Babe,

I’m thinking of a number between one and prick and yes, you guessed it.

I don’t feel all that well.   Menopause is very real and and is about to become even more so when you get home.  I’m saving up some rage with your name on it.   It’s the heat flashes and the mood swings.  One minute I’m fine, then next minute I’m in a pile,  feeling horrible about myself while  sweating and crying uncontrollably–not unlike you were after our first sexual “discounter”.   I’d call it an  “encounter”,  but I don’t want to lie.  There was nothing “in” about it and certainly included nothing to “count”.

Must close now.  I’m burning up and feel the urge to stick my head in the freezer.   This heat flash is a bad one indeed.

Have I told you today that I love you?  If not, there’s good reason.




Sweetie, be more Earth friendly and use less power by simply sticking your fevered head in our bed.   Same affect and  just as frigid.

Will be home very late.   Considering the mood you’re in, please don’t cook.  I really don’t want to risk 13 hours of diarrhea like I did last Wednesday.

I do love you–in spite of you.

Hugs, my love…hugs,



My Darling,

You do awaken things in me.  And yes, there are times when you engulf my heart and my soul.  I do love you.   In fact, my heart nearly burst as I watched you exit the shower one day last week.  Your body, so firm and masculine…dripping with beads of water as you stepped out  of le bain. I did notice the many bruises though.  I’m so sorry for that, my love.

I’ll use less force and a nine foot pole next time I touch you.

If I’m asleep when you get in, please don’t wake me; I want to remain in the arms of Morpheus.   At least he doesn’t snore.

All my love,




Emails & E-miles Part 1

It’s the



  1. Dangerous Liasons, updated.
    Or could be, if some underlying intrigue is added. A few second tier characters. Signs of the time (but not of place; let’s make it universal for wider target audience).

    Then you can sell it, buy a dirt-cheep Miami condo with a loggia and a view of the harbor, and live happily ever after.

  2. Et at,

    Начать, приветствовать к моему блогу. Вы для быть здесь.

    Now, with formalities out of the way, this is just part 2 of this little missive exchange. They’re loosely based on correspondence I had with a former love interest and yes, the terse, adversarial nature of these e-mails weren’t all that different from the ones we actually exchanged. Maybe that’s why the world “former” has been applied.

    At this point I plan on making this a weekly serial…one to two additional parts each week and yes, I plan to expand–horizons, locales, maybe introduce a peripheral character or two, but to what extent depends on whether my readers (both of you) want more or not. I don’t want to waste my time…or yours.

    But to be honest, writing these are actually rather fun and wee bit therapeutic. I just sit down and start writing with nothing in really mind…it just flows and that’s how this whole thing started. Kind of the same thing with the former love interest, to be totally honest.


    PS…Loggia? No, give more Corinthian columns in an antebellum layout with a wrap around multi-level porch.

    A pergola is NOT an option.

  3. Laurie, greetings to you too.
    (to keep in the style of yours I should have written: “Greeting you Laurie to too”. Hehehe)

    You could add any columns you wish as soon as the publisher dispenses the advance.

    A great series; will wait for “to be continued”.


  4. Sorry Tatyana, I’m a smart ass–public humiliation is what I deserve for even attempting a language I don’t speak. Hell, I barely have English down.

    Damn those on line language translators!

    Stay tuned for parts 3 and 4 next week.

    до свидания,

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