Hero In Me

I used to be far hipper than I am now.

I was always on the cutting edge of what was happenin’, because well, I myself was happenin’ about eight years and 40 pounds ago.   I was big time.  My local celebrity, if you will, allowed me to have friends bought and paid for.  People wanted to hang around me because I was connected and well, when the economy slumped and radio disconnected me,  few people could be found.   I realized my “friends” were merely on loan.  Repossessed actually….by their own selfish greed, mostly.

But that’s OK.   Desertion is their load to bear.   Besides, what damn near kills you certainly makes you wiser.

So, here I sit all these years later and today of all days, donning a professorial mortar board and tassel on my noggin–completely worse for the wear, but ironically OK.  That’s why I’m posting this video.  It’s seven years old–released in 2001 and by a rather fetching looking gentleman named Jeffrey Gaines.

jeffrey-gaines

See how he leans his head in his braceletted hands.  Don’t you love artists who are  angst ridden?

And choreographed?

I don’t know much about Mr Gaines other than he’s from Pennsylvania and much younger than me, but then again, so is the world.  I only heard this song quite recently.  It’s called “Hero In Me” and like all things these days, it completely resonated with me.  It’s from the album (and yes, they will ALWAYS be albums to me!!) appropriately titled, “Always Will Be”.

Listen to it here.

And because I like it so much and the words are so damn poignant, I’m giving you a Laurieland bonus:  I’m feeling just squirrely enough to include the lyrics this time.

Won’t happen again….promise.

.

.

He’s lived as long as he possibly can
given the circumstance
’cause he’s protected himself from the world
he never gave it a chance

and he says, here in my security
I’ve put a limit on my self-potential
and my possibility

She’s seen these walls and they never change
everything’s in its place
her relationships so neatly arranged
down to religion and race

and she says, here in my security
I don’t make a move unless my friends approve
I do what’s expected of me

And as I grow older
and there’s so much that I do not know
I’m drawn to those who are bolder
and go where no one dare to go

(chorus)
And I sleep and I dream of the person I might have been
then I’ll be free again
And I speak like someone who’s been to the highest peaks
and back again
And I swear that my grass is greener than anyone’s
’til I believe again
Then I wake and the dream fades away and I face the day
and I realize that there’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me

They’ve been suppressing their every desire
they do nothing on a whim
she’s lost her sparkle and he’s lost the fire
their future looks very dim

And I say, here in my security
I’ve simply let myself go
I’ve developed a co-dependency

And as I grow older
so many places that I’ve never been
time’s tapping my shoulder
I hope it’s never too late to begin

(chorus)
And I sleep and I dream of the person I might have been
then I’ll be free again
And I speak like someone who’s been to the highest peaks
and back again
And I swear that my grass is greener than anyone’s
’til I believe again
Then I wake and the dream fades away and I face the day
and I realize that there’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me
There’s got to be some hero in me

3 comments

  1. Laurie, you’re still hip. At least more so than me. I still call them albums too by the way. This is a nice song. I really liked it. The lyrics mean something to me too. Whether you believe it or not, I really care about how you are feeling and getting along. I get sad when I think about what you’re going through right now. But I also know that you will fight your way out of this as you have everything else that’s happened to you in your life.

    Love you my hero.

  2. I have followed your career through different stations throughout the years. I’ve watched your work and I’ve listened to it and always there was this little petite ball of fire saying the funniest things. Things that blew experienced comedians away. I’ve met you a few times, so I feel like I know you even though I don’t, but I know you well enough to hear change in your style. There’s more a sinister tone to your writing these days. I don’t know what the PM did or didn’t do to you, but I know if affected you. This Laurie is different, but I still like the slight caustic air that lies underneath almost everything you write and if that what it takes to get you out of this slump, so be it.

    Go heal, drink more, drink less. Get therapy. Do that primal scream shit. Grab a sledgehammer and paint a big PM on old beat up car and then beat the shit out of it. Do whatever you have to do, just come back.

    Your probably don’t want to hear this now of all times but you have a responsibility and it’s your fault. Well, you wit and snap are to blame. You remove people (even breifly) from the boring humdrum routine of their lives.

    You are loved, young lady. Respected more than you know and your blog is appointment reading for me and so many people I know. You continue to write like people can only dream about writing. You’ve got so many gifts. The biggest one of course is that you’re funny and you make people laugh. Do you even have a clue as to how powerful that is? How curative that is? My God, it is.

    I think you know this, but I felt like I should remind you.

  3. Well it’s Sunday morning and I’m doing my usual routine and that’s reading your blog that I missed on Friday, Saturday and today. Like Greg and Texas, I’ve read you for a long time and love your stuff. Your never cease to amaze me with terms few people could put together and get away with ut and with the same hysterical result. I don’t know if I see a more caustic style or sinister style underneath your stuff lately. I’d call it bolder. Your writing with more truth.

    I hate that this idiot hurt you. There’s two parts to you, LK. I think you’re this tough, crusty old broad that protects a gooey creamy center. You let your vulnerability show at times and I find that endearing. I sometimes think I can see what you write and I can at times feel what you’re feeling.. Yessir, you’re writing is that good. I want yuou to be happy, too and I’ll make a bold prediction. I think all this crap is happening to you because it has to happen to you. as miserable as it might be and as painful as it might be. This is a vital part of this very important journey.

    I predict that your writing will be discovered soon AND that you going to meet a man who will love and respect you as you deserve to be love and respected. You once wrote that that old BF of yours deemed you as a skein of wool. What an asshole. You’re better off without him. The love of your life, professionally and personally is within reach. I feel it for you kid. It is and soon, the petite little hilarious fireball is about to burst forth on the scene again. OK, so you’re a ltittle older and the fire might burn a bit dimmer these days but in the end, that just makes you seasoned and even better.

    Be happy Laurie. We’re rooting for you.

And now, you may opine your ass off...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s