Real World; Unreal Toys

“Hey, Tina, you’ll be turning seven soon. What would you like for your birthday?”

“Gee Dad, that’s a silly question. You know I want a Toy Airport Passenger Screening set by Playmobil!!” toysecuritycheckpoint1.jpg

And really, what contemporary kid wouldn’t want this fine, fun-filled example of a failing bureaucracy in an ever-growing fascist state?

Your child will have fun for hours watching X-rays and trying to figure out “who’s carrying a knife and/or in possession of an unlawful container of banned accelerant or incendiary shoes”.

Each set comes with one passenger with enough melanin in his skin tone to warrant racial profiling and two Office of Homeland Security “officials”–both with TSA screening certification AND proof of two Scranton Public School System administered G.E.D.’s .

toysecuritycheckpoint2.jpg

The actual screening machine has a hand crank conveyor belt that moves, a plastic bin to place shoes and a metal detector wand that actually makes authentically embarrassing detection sounds, especially when placed near breasts and genitalia.

toysecuritycheckpoint3.jpg
Perfect for Global Terrorism enthusiasts ages four and up and at ONLY $14.99 , an absolute steal by Playmobil!

And new this spring, you can buy the Full Body Cavity Search Room.  A pair of tiny, opaque surgical gloves and a miniature tube of AstroGlide sold separately.

But wait!!   There’s more!!!!!

Make sure your kids are the first on your block to get a Gitmo Detention Center Play Set and if THAT doesn’t get your progeny excited about the Geneva Convention, how about the Abu Gharib Prisoner Interrogation Fun Four Pack!!!!

Your kids will love this newest Playmobil addition with it’s three nude Iraqi prisoners and one bendable P.F.C. Lyndie England Action Figure.

She comes complete with an Indigo Girls CD, a carton of candy cigarettes and opposable thumbs!!!

lynndie-england-irak-abu-ghraib-2352.jpg

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(Much of this post was published early this past Spring.  Why put up a “used” post?   If this country is teetering perilously on the verge of a violent and difficult fiscal Depression…the likes we’ve not seen since the 30’s and Shirley Temple…then I think it would behoove us all to get used to hand-me-downs and second hand crap.  Thanks Fannie Mae!!!)

And now, you may opine your ass off...

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