Oh my Vishnu!!
When I first moved to Houston in 1990, I remember happening upon an All Access cable channel that was all Indian. It was in English, but was geared for Houston’s rather large (and growing) Indian community.
I’ve always wanted to learn more about that which exists outside my realm, so I’d tune in on occasion. I’d watch the talk shows and some news programs and I remember marveling at the groovy saris and jewelry on the women, but nothing…NOTHING was more entertaining than watching….
Indian music videos.
Man oh man, if you have not feasted your eyes upon a full scale Bollywood production of an Indian music video, than you, my reader-jaan, are missing out.
These epic productions are nothing less than a spectacle and every one of them is choreographed in this Fosse-esque, Tharpian splendor. Throw in some Michael Kidd and we’re talking scenes that would make Busby Berkely think straight.
The themes are almost always the same. The setting is either in a town square or in a field or a Ramada Inn banquet hall or something. There’s a lead guy, usually a roguishly handsome looking bloke (handsome by Indian standards–in this particular video’s case, picture a young, even swarthier but spastic Franco Harris) and a beautiful leading woman (beautiful by Universal standards, thank you) and they are (seemingly) flirting with each other by writhing and cavorting about in rhythmic undulations to a sitar-lead techno orchestra and a bevy of backup dancers–all gender specific.
She has her all chick cast of dancers behind her and he has his male minions clad in brightly colored, polyester leisure suits by Farrah and as best I can tell, each one is having a carefully syncopated petit mal seizure set to music.
He sings and she shrieks in this high-pitched adenoidal studio affect. Throw in some “Bob Mackie for GAP” wardrobe changes, a few truly horrible edits and you’ve got some kind of video!!!
Based upon the many Indian music videos I’ve seen, these things appear to be standard operating procedure. They’re great to watch and lively as taj-mahell.
Now, what I’ve just conveyed to you is the perfect preface for this absolutely hilarious video I found on You Tube. It’s a translation of what a Hindi (at least, I think it’s Hindi) music video would sound like if we insist on listening to it with ears than can only comprehend bastardized English.
I recommend watching it first and reading the subtitles; once you have the full hilarious effect, watch it second time, but focus on the dancers and the dancing.
I don’t know who Buffalax is, but he “translated” the subtitles.
Kudos to you, Sahib!!