Amazingly True Facts

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If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you’d be Bill Belichick AND  you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months–only allowing a few seconds to pass between fartonic sessions, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.   Wow…that makes the average ass the Enola Gay?  What a concept!!!

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. And detective on any police force will tell you that.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. That explains a great deal about Amy Winehouse thinness and mental prowess.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. Gee, I wonder if female dolphins ever get headaches? Do they bloat and retain water? And if they dolphinate every 28 days, do they crave krill? Tampons must be a BITCH to manipulate in a water invironment. Kinda defeats the porpoise, does it not?

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.   Ooof…good thing, too!

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. I wouldn’t know; hard to tell. My eyes are usually closed when I sneeze.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath but there are many…MANY people I work with who I would hope would try.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.   In turn, pizza eats through 18 acres of  intestinal lining every day.

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous snake?

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. Wow…times have changed. These days, priests just pluck altar boys.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. They’re worthless when you need someone to lick a stamp.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Ants are cool. They’re strong and hardworking, yet they party like a Kennedy.

Polar bears are left handed. OK…..

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. That”s obvious. Batter ’em up in some cornmeal then fry them bad boys up and they be tastin’ good.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that’s like Evel Kneival jumping the length of a football field.

A cockroach will live nine days without it’s head, before it starves to death.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.    Big deal.  I did that last Saturday!

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.   Big deal! President Clinton did that this morning!

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

A cat’s urine glows under a blacklight. And really, who’s doesn’t?

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.   

Starfishes haven’t got brains. Neither does half of Washington.

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BONUS…BONUS…BONUS…

(Interesting word, “bonus”. Must be  a boner’s Roman cousin)…BONUS.

Crazy Indian traffic. No rules, no cops…not an ounce of logic or sanity or injuries, surprisingly enough. But have you ever taken a look at this—

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And actually thought this???

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Watch the videos simultaneously with the volume up. It’s like playing Black Sabbath backwards, man..

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3 comments

  1. LK: Long time no talk–so sorry about that as I have been either on “vacation” with family (thus the quotes) or sick or working as if my last paycheck was this month. I have even gone a week without posting and then today posted a serious and sure to piss people off kind of post.

    Now-as for this–I actually almost killed my mother with a champagne cork the day of my law school graduation. We were back at my parent’s house for lunch and my dad handed me a bottle of champagne. I opened it by pointing the cork at the wall instead of calmly taking it off like a grown-up. It hit the wall bounced and creamed my mom in the temple sitting about 1 foot away from the wall. It actually knocked her out of her chair. Which frankly was very funny. Okay I’m rambling–hope all is well–and I still want to do lunch and take you up on that dinner invite we discussed before–email me.

    -Murphy

  2. another display of your geniusiticity (that means freakishly smart in my dictionary)

    -SN

    ps. it’s really nice to end every message w/ your initials,I got that from you! “LK” =)

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