Summer Blahg

Summer is here.

School is out; vacations abound. Some of you are taking sabbaticals or reduced work hours. Good for you!

It’s also hot; it’s humid. Oppressively so in some parts of the country. Gas prices are ridiculous, the economy needs a colonic. Barack and John McCain will duke it out for D.C. Home Boy status this fall and despite the racially historic implications of the upcoming presidential election, it’s still kind of a yawn fest. I mean, we can’t make fun of Barack as we did George Bush. God forbid, he should screw up and if we call him on it, we’ll all get labeled “a racist” and then crucified by the court of public opinion. It’ll be just like the post-9/11 broo-haha with George Bush. Remember that period in time? People were labeled “unpatriotic” and socially and economically censured for such, merely because they uttered or wrote something that could’ve have been construed as remotely anti-American. Ask the Dixie Chicks.



So, what’s a pundit to do?

And if THAT conundrum isn’t enough, nothing but reruns abound on TV.

Summer means a slow down and perhaps the last thing many of you want to do is sit around reading blogs.

Maybe it’s just that you don’t want to read my blog.

Yeah…I’m whining. My readership is down. Exponentially. It has been for the past few weeks.

And I am disheartened.

I know that things have been different since I went back to work full time. I don’t post as much original stuff as I used to. Frankly, I don’t have time. You see, I’m a writer and I’m employed as such. That means I’m writing most of the day–much of it comedy–and to be honest, the last thing I want to do when I come home is write more comedy.

As any decent pirate would say, “I’m afeared me blog has suffered a might, arrrrr!!”

I don’t want to waste your time…or mine. So, before I decide to scrap this concept of continued blogging indefinitely, let’s reach of meeting of the minds. Permit me to inquire as to what you’d like to see more of or less of in terms of posts. You want comedy? You want heart tugging sap? You want both? Political commentary? Movie reviews? A really funny advice column? Should I be less esoteric? I know I have a tendency to get a little strange and that might not appeal to all comers.  So, do you think then that I should be more basic?   Well, tough shit–that ain’t gonna happen.   Want more complicated?  Like you have a choice.

Or should I just say that past 14 months have been a real freakin’ slice and call it a night?

Feed the insatiable beast that is my ego.

I’ll read your comments; I’ll delete the negative ones. Then, I’ll weigh the odds and will make a conscious decision based on all factors.

But…but…but what if no one reads this post? As I said readership is down.

Well, if that happens, I’ll just pull an Alec Baldwin and state here and now if I don’t receive eightten…no 12 substantive comments by 4 pm (CST) Thursday , 6/12/08, I’ll not only threaten to move to Europe, but I ‘ll threaten to cease all blogging operations precisely at 4:01 (CST) on 6/12/08.  And don’t just placate me, though that’s perfectly acceptable.  I’d really like to know what you want more of.

Or else.

Is this an idle threat?

Probably, but I am menopausal as hell these days and well…do you really want to take that chance?????



  1. Please do not stop blogging!!!! I look forward to reading your post everyday. Sometimes it is the highlight of my day. Wow I really need to get a life. I really don’t care what you write about, just keep on writing!

  2. Oh hell no, I can’t survive without regular infusions of your wit and satire. Somedays what I read on here is the only intelligent material I see.

    Besides we love and would miss you terribly.

  3. Bring the funny! But I don’t expect it every day. I would wait (semi-patiently) a couple of days if you wanted.

    And more pirate humor. I think I like it like that.

  4. Really enjoy the blog–love the humor, but since you write for a living just go ahead and blog what’s on your mind –dont acquire blog bosses.

    53 and 11/12. Wish I could be menopausal!!

  5. I am happy to be comment number 3… 🙂

    So you want my opinion Laurie, here it is.

    When you’re funny, when you’re esoteric, when you’re random you are fabulous. It doesn’t matter how exhausted you are, your writing does not lack.

    I have only been blogging for about six months, so I understand the plait of finding something insightful and witty to write about ever day. My point is it doesn’t have to be. Think back on why you started writing to begin with. I’m hoping it’s not just for the readers (ok ok, we can be a little vain. We are writers after all) but for another outlet. Another place where you can laugh or cry or bitch or let out frustration and NO ONE has the right to judge even though they will.

    And that’s basically it isn’t it. As humans, we have a basic internal need for judgment, for validation, for attention and critic and ass-kissing. Why do we blog. We blog to exist, to prove to those around us and those away from us that we are alive, and breathing, with words and heart and comedy and drama like everyone else. We can do that with a smile to the cute java boy behind the counter.

    I blog because it provides me focus and purpose in my writing. I haven’t had that for almost three years.

    Why do you blog LK? In that you will find your answer as to what you should write about and why you should stay.

    Besides, if you try to leave us I will tie you to a chair and force you to stay. I’d miss you. I read your blog everyday.

  6. I’m with Ginny…I’ll wait. I enjoy your comedy because it’s not low-brow plonk but, frankly, you’re the writer and the choice of subject matter is up to you. I’ll tune in either way!

  7. Am I number eight? I hope so. I’m not a writer, but am a reader. I’ve just found you a few weeks ago while searching for new blogs to read. Some of the bloggers I enjoyed stopped or cut back on their posts. If you do the same, keep the site open…there are alot of archived posts I haven’t read yet.

  8. I’m not going to suggest what to write about because part of this whole blog thang is that it is up to YOU! It doesn’t matter what mood you are in or what topic you pick, I enjoy reading about it.

    Maybe it’s just a lull, LK. I’ve been reading as faithfully, just not commenting as much because … well, the sun’s shining, the air is warming up, and my garden is growing! I just don’t sit down to my PC like I do in the winter.

    Maybe you should go back to original stuff. Maybe a post-a-day blog just isn’t going to work with your new lifestyle. Whatever the frequency, you should always post about things that move you (in one way or another). It should be an outlet for you. If you are sick of writing comedy at the end of the day, write about something else.

    Just don’t stop!

  9. LK,
    You gonna give up blogging? Why don’t you kill me first. 🙂

    Readers will come and go and stats will go up and down. When it goes down, it makes you question your existence. Your core readers will always be there no matter what you write about, or how often.

    I love to read your posts not because you write what I like to read…it’s because what you write is what I like to read. Asking us will get you hundreds of different answers. And that’s not good cuz we sure as hell don’t know what we want.

    Keep blogging, LK! If not for me…for the children.

  10. Please keep the words coming! Not only do I find your blog humorous but I can relate on other levels such as an older (but wiser) woman living in Houston

  11. Miss K,

    You know I like strange; in fact, as you may recall, my preference is well documented.

    Here’s what I think– I think you ought to do whatever the hell makes you happy. Nothing lasts forever–and things as good as your stuff rarely happen at all. You’ve got yourself a good man (being one and all, I didn’t think that was doable) and a job. Clearly you don’t need this shit.

    All the best,


  12. Here’s your #12.

    What turned me on to your blog in the first place was your narratives about real life stuff. I think the post was about a trip to a fast food joint where you fought over an unknown hunk with a female total stranger.

    I laughed my hoo-has off!
    Don’t stop making me laugh!

  13. LK, I love your blog! If you want to stop I’ll miss you! But, I do love reading about your childhood and the funny adventures you have had. You have made me smile, laugh, and cry. Please keep up your great blog? I guess I’m no. 13?

  14. Shit! Too late to make the top 12!

    Who was it that said “dying is easy, comedy is hard”?

    All the funny stuff you can shove at us LK, just don’t die trying.

  15. I recently found your site and actually recommended it on mine as being witty as hell. Just so I can be repetitive, do what makes you happy, but if you quit please leave your archives available. SG

  16. Anyone who uses the pirate voice gets my vote. But I’m not gonna beg. Stay in this Land of the Bloggity Blog Blog or don’t. Either way, you’ve done the Blogosphere and all of its Blogonians proud.

  17. It is difficult to maintain steady growth, especially when you has been so successful. Swings and roundabouts are inevitable. I would recommend going off on increasingly strange and experimental tangents and damn the numbers. How about pictures of cats speaking with funny captions in strange accents? Or celebrity fashion disasters? How about an insult blog where you pick one commenter each day and rip into them? Or an alien blog where you pretend to be an alien communicating with earth thru your blog? Or to save time you could just do your A Word From LK post as your blog? Or or or or don’t go, you are a rolemodel for all of us. A hero. The funniest human on the planet. A word genius. A goddess. A sex kitten. An iconoclastic diptherion of magnitude eleven on the Kalixteron Scale.

  18. Recently found you (maybe a link on occasionallyfunny?) and think you’re a riot.

  19. Paul–you magnificent verbose bastard of a poetic caliber, the likes of which makes the Bard pale in comparison,

    You had me at “an iconoclastic diptherion of magnitude eleven on the Kalixteron Scale”. I would
    ve been fine with “rule breaking fallen Catholic with a Terpsichorean charm who actually knows what “Corvus Corax” actually is.

    Sire my progeny Paul. Seriously. You…me…our audacity. Our kids my darling, won’t be physical beings to behold, but they’ll be literate.

    Or not.


  20. A simply splendid idea. We can have a winter romance in the Alps, all wood fires and red wine followed by a casual almost accidental insemination. The labour shall be all yours and the pride all mine. The child will no doubt be a difficult genius, prone to moments of deep introspection followed by orgies of copious selfindulgence. We shall be forever cleaning up after, paying off the injured with invitations to the chalet and so forth but gradually the world will come to recognise our progeny as a truly outrageous trumped up little bastard genius and will laugh tremendously at themselves for having been so easily hoodwinked by a couple of experienced but literate old shysters as ourselves.

  21. Paul…how you tantalize me with your cunning use of verbiage. He and she (I’ve decided we’re having two children) shall be of the ebullient and elan…a minority to be sure.

    We hearken back to that day when our mutual disdain for stupidity brought us to the point of emotional copulation. Sure, insemination didn’t happen the normal way…then again, we aren’t normal. I laundered our panties in the same load….pun intended.

    Four vomitous months later, I was plump with fetus. Gestating with glee and abandon as the child kicked me internally. With our love of Wagner, Strauss and other dead Teutonics of a musical ilk spurring us on, we nicknamed the zygote “Die Fledermaus”.


    And then my water broke and this tsunami of emotion gripped me and drenched you.

    She’ll have my looks and your penchant for poetry….those two traits will guarantee her a life of abject poverty.

    Then, we’ll try for a boy. Our son. But this time, we’ll do it sans the exchange of Hanes. Nay, my little wordsmith-slash-lover. This time we’ll do it the old fashioned way….it’ll be a rectal thermometer joke that goes horribly, painfully wrong.

    Good times.

  22. I don’t want to waste your time…or mine. So, before I decide to scrap this concept of continued blogging indefinitely, let’s reach of meeting of the minds. Permit me to inquire as to what you’d like to see more of or less of in terms of posts. You want comedy? You want heart tugging sap? You want both? Political commentary? Movie reviews? A really funny advice column? Should I be less esoteric? I know I have a tendency to get a little strange and that might not appeal to all comers. So, do you think then that I should be more basic? Well, tough shit–that ain’t gonna happen. Want more complicated? Like you have a choice.


  23. “Or should I just say that past 14 months have been a real freakin’ slice and call it a night?”

    Worked for me.

    Nice to visit your place again.

  24. I don’t even remember how I stumbled on your blog because I have no idea who you are. I must have favorite-placed you once when I was bored and/or drunk. l come back because you’re funny, you’re a great writer and you’re rational. (Take that last one as you will because I think you might be a teensy bit insane too, but it all comes out wonderfully.)

    That said, I’m sick of politics. More specifically, candidates. When I want political commentary, I turn on the news, because that’s apparently what news is now. I hate going through blog archives and finding political posts that are no longer relevant. Policies, on the other hand, I can stomach- like your illegal alien post. You get your point across without getting all Hannity on us.

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