Why did the chicken cross the road?
It’s an age-old query.
Meant to be a joke, most of the time, but here at Laurie Industries, we were surprised to learn that it’s a question in which some of history’s greatest minds have seriously pondered. A list was sent to us via e-mail, and as always, we thought it was incomplete.
We contacted Horace Greeley, the curator of Poultry at Tyson’s Museum of Mother Cluckers in Pullitville, Iowa, who enlightened us on others who have made commentary on this conundrum.
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
It was a historical inevitability.
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
I love knock-knock jokes. Who’s there?
Acid, man. Acid.
SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON:
Obviously, the chicken was coerced into crossing the road, due to a vast right wing conspiracy. Speaking of chicks, has anyone seen Bill?
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping mega-tons of nerve gas on it.
LINDA BLAIR AS REaGAN MCNEIL IN “THE EXORCIST:
Pluck me….PLUCK ME!!!!!!!!!
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. By the way during Katrina, the levies were bombed, man.
It never made it out of the yard; I ate it
RON JEREMY…PORN STAR:
I never made it out of the yard; I screwed it
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without fear or reprisal or having their motives called into question. Chickens should be judged by the content of their character, not by the color of their feathers
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Then, he gathered his flock and they roamed the coup for 40-years.
Let my poultry go!!!
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around near a busy street, anyway? Was it a Rhode Island Red? Not that there’s anything wrong with that!!!
It was an oppressed chicken and a beautiful one. It was a chicken of many colors, living on a neglected farm. I adopted it to bring it into that real life Benetton ad I call my crazy ass family.
We named it “Kirby”
The chicken crossed the road unnecessarily because of George Bush. Had he not lied about those “capons of mass destruction”, the chicken would never have crossed the road in the first place.
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. The answer is simple: The chicken’s mother is to blame for this radical decision to risk life and wing
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. In 2010, I fully intend for it to be able to fricassee itself
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads
It was a good looking chicken with drumsticks up to here!!! So, I bought the Miss Poultry World Contest just for this bird. I plan to marry it just as soon as I can divorce my current wife. That’ll happen next January when she reaches the ripe old age of 28
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
It was a good chicken. A nice chicken. It crossed the road to die. In the rain.
Son of a bitch!!! I missed one?