As if wallowing in self-pity and my refusal to operate within an iota of appropriate self-regulating psycho/social boundaries hasn’t been enough, I’m now going to force you to read more self-indulgent drivel. Not that you’d necessarily want to know more about me, but I needed to post something fast and easy for the weekend and well, a few lesser known facts about La Kendrick and what irks her just seemed fitting.
As if any of this shit is true. Well, loosely based on truth anyway.
1. I have learned in recent weeks that I really dislike the so-called “blogosphere”. I’ll be the first to admit that blogging itself is addictive, but I hate it when people lapse into a far gone state of Blogomania. These are the ones who are so into their blogs that they have meetings, form blogging clubs and refer to each other by nicknames which are derived from their blogging pseudonyms. For example: let’s say someone has a blog entitled, “Crankshaft’s Mike Good Time Mechanic Spot”. Hardcore members of the bloggeratti would refer to that blogger as “Cranky”.
As in, “Hey did you read Cranky’s post today?”
Or some Bloggeteers might say:
“Yeah, Cranky posted a good one on catalytic converters.”
Sorry, but to me, this is all so incredibly silly. It’s like bad method acting or Madonna when she refers to herself as “an artist”. It–that– grates on my nerves; like fingernails on a chalkboard. In fact, anything taken too seriously or taken to ridiculous extremes irritates me.
Have we really become that needy? To the point that we have to belong to this “club”?
And as for the blogger names…seriously, why write under the guise of a nom d’plúm ? Why? I suppose you have your reasons, aspects of privacy and all, but really, just how evil/malevolent/damming IS your life? And if it’s THAT bad, why write about in an oh so public forum?
Let’s be honest–unless you’re stuff includes jihading on someone relevant, blackmailing someone’s baby daddy, bilking Nabisco out of millions, living a completely “other life” with sexual implications or you’ve plans to blow up the capital, does the content in your blog really merit a fake name?
If you’re blog has a title, but you use your real name (first, last or both) in correspondence and in the body of your posts, that’s fine. I have no problem with that. You’re not who I am ragging on here.
A few days ago, I had lunch with esteemed Houston attorney, Murphy Klasing, who when not litigating, is blogging AND under his real name, too. We were discussing this phenomenon and he told me that when he’s pressed other bloggers about using pseudonyms, they responded “because I can be the real me on my blog”.
The real you??? My God!!! What heinous, deviantly mocked-up version of “you” is the real world getting then?
2. I once had aspirations of being a country singer. Yes, it’s true. It still hasn’t left me completely. When I’m not waxing obnoxious on this blog, I’m singing. That’s how I know I’m happy; content. And many years ago, I wanted to carry on in the tradition of country music legend, Miss Tammy Wynette. I idolized her. I wanted to emulate her. Remember her late 60’s twangy classic, “D-I-V-O-R-C-E”?
Well, I dabbled in songwriting myself, but “L-E-G-A-L. .S-E-P-A-R-A-T-I-O-N” just didn’t have the same flow.
Besides, I think that song would’ve only made sense to petitioners in North Carolina.
3. I was once censured at work for an innocent conversation with my General Manager. He told me that it had been a good day and that he was “feeling happy”.
I asked him to remind me which dwarf that was.
4. I used to date a man who was overweight. Needless to say, he had major self esteem issues, though I loved the guy in spite of his girth. Even so, he was hesitant about going anywhere, so we rarely traveled anywhere, much less took a vacation. But year after year of never going anywhere was making me crazy, so one winter, I decided that we needed to get out…go abroad..see the world. I wanted to go some place sunny and warm. But he was still obsessed with food, so I had to take that into consideration. I did this by lying a wee bit about our destination.
I told him we were going to spend a week in Malta, but only after a brief layover in Milka-Shaka.
And now for something completely different….
Tay Zonday is, for lack of a better description, a black Rick Astley.
He’s this little runt of a guy with a voice that’s deep and almost sounds as if he might have been classically trained–for about five minutes. He has a very distinct diction, too. Anyway, last year, he put this video up on You Tube called “Chocolate Rain”, which he wrote, produced and sang. It is quite possibly, the MOST annoying and monotonous song in the history of man. A lyricist, he ain’t, plus his breathing style is just strange. It’s this weird waist-bend away from the mike.
But I have to hand it to him; Tay is laughing all the way to the bank He’s already made the rounds on the chat shows circuit; Oprah, Jimmy Kimmel, et. al and now has professionally produced videos out; probably a record deal, too. He’s doing well, but as you all know, success breeds contempt.
And HILARIOUS mimicry.
Here are your moments of Zen:
But wait!! There’s more.