More about me

As if wallowing in self-pity and my refusal to operate within an iota of appropriate self-regulating psycho/social boundaries hasn’t been enough, I’m now going to force you to read more self-indulgent drivel. Not that you’d necessarily want to know more about me, but I needed to post something fast and easy for the weekend and well, a few lesser known facts about La Kendrick and what irks her just seemed fitting.

As if any of this shit is true. Well, loosely based on truth anyway.

Here goes:

1. I have learned in recent weeks that I really dislike the so-called “blogosphere”. I’ll be the first to admit that blogging itself is addictive, but I hate it when people lapse into a far gone state of Blogomania. These are the ones who are so into their blogs that they have meetings, form blogging clubs and refer to each other by nicknames which are derived from their blogging pseudonyms. For example: let’s say someone has a blog entitled, “Crankshaft’s Mike Good Time Mechanic Spot”. Hardcore members of the bloggeratti would refer to that blogger as “Cranky”.

As in, “Hey did you read Cranky’s post today?”

Or some Bloggeteers might say:

“Yeah, Cranky posted a good one on catalytic converters.”

Sorry, but to me, this is all so incredibly silly. It’s like bad method acting or Madonna when she refers to herself as “an artist”.    It–that– grates on my nerves; like fingernails on a chalkboard. In fact, anything taken too seriously or taken to ridiculous extremes irritates me.

Have we really become that needy? To the point that we have to belong to this “club”?

And as for the blogger names…seriously, why write under the guise of a nom d’plúm ?   Why? I suppose you have your reasons, aspects of privacy and all, but really, just how evil/malevolent/damming IS your life?   And if it’s THAT bad, why write about in an oh so public forum?  

Let’s be honest–unless you’re stuff includes jihading on someone relevant, blackmailing someone’s baby daddy, bilking Nabisco out of millions, living a completely “other life” with sexual implications or you’ve plans to blow up the capital, does the content in your blog really merit a fake name?

If you’re blog has a title, but you use your real name (first, last or both) in correspondence and in the body of your posts, that’s fine. I have no problem with that. You’re not who I am ragging on here.

A few days ago, I had lunch with esteemed Houston attorney, Murphy Klasing, who when not litigating, is blogging AND under his real name, too. We were discussing this phenomenon and he told me that when he’s pressed other bloggers about using pseudonyms, they responded “because I can be the real me on my blog”.

The real you??? My God!!! What heinous, deviantly mocked-up version of “you” is the real world getting then?

2. I once had aspirations of being a country singer. Yes, it’s true. It still hasn’t left me completely. When I’m not waxing obnoxious on this blog, I’m singing. That’s how I know I’m happy; content. And many years ago, I wanted to carry on in the tradition of country music legend, Miss Tammy Wynette. I idolized her. I wanted to emulate her. Remember her late 60’s twangy classic, “D-I-V-O-R-C-E”?

Well, I dabbled in songwriting myself, but “L-E-G-A-L. .S-E-P-A-R-A-T-I-O-N” just didn’t have the same flow.

Besides, I think that song would’ve only made sense to petitioners in North Carolina.

3. I was once censured at work for an innocent conversation with my General Manager. He told me that it had been a good day and that he was “feeling happy”.

I asked him to remind me which dwarf that was.

4. I used to date a man who was overweight. Needless to say, he had major self esteem issues, though I loved the guy in spite of his girth. Even so, he was hesitant about going anywhere, so we rarely traveled anywhere, much less took a vacation. But year after year of never going anywhere was making me crazy, so one winter, I decided that we needed to get out…go abroad..see the world. I wanted to go some place sunny and warm. But he was still obsessed with food, so I had to take that into consideration. I did this by lying a wee bit about our destination.

I told him we were going to spend a week in Malta, but only after a brief layover in Milka-Shaka.

.

And now for something completely different….

Tay Zonday is, for lack of a better description, a black Rick Astley.

He’s this little runt of a guy with a voice that’s deep and almost sounds as if he might have been classically trained–for about five minutes. He has a very distinct diction, too. Anyway, last year, he put this video up on You Tube called “Chocolate Rain”, which he wrote, produced and sang. It is quite possibly, the MOST annoying and monotonous song in the history of man. A lyricist, he ain’t, plus his breathing style is just strange. It’s this weird waist-bend away from the mike.

But I have to hand it to him; Tay is laughing all the way to the bank He’s already made the rounds on the chat shows circuit; Oprah, Jimmy Kimmel, et. al and now has professionally produced videos out; probably a record deal, too. He’s doing well, but as you all know, success breeds contempt.

And HILARIOUS mimicry.

.

Here are your moments of Zen:

.

But wait!! There’s more.

27 comments

  1. I have good reasons for not using my last name on my blog (as often as I can remember, but it does slip through now and again). This is to protect the privacy of my family members who do not write my blog but would be affected indirectly by it. Therefore, all you get is my first name.

    Milka-Shaka… hahahahaa.

  2. I like the way so many of your posts provoke thought AND make me laugh. Ok so I hear you on most of your beginning gripes, especially the stupid on-line cliques and take it all too seriously people – I’ve never been a joiner in-er or a fan of the serious.

    However I disagree on the pseudonym bit… It’s difficult to explain but I guess, there are two reasons.

    Number one, hostile scary people. Remember a while back they sent that thing out into space with records by the Beatles and Elvis, pictures of humans and information about earth and where it was…

    Well yes, it might be picked up by benign aliens from a civilisation far more advanced than ours who would think about coming to help us sort ourselves out…

    Alternatively it might be picked up by a less benign alien civilisation of equally advanced status who would think about coming to help them selves TO us… possibly on toast or with a side order of fries.

    By writing anonymously I can write about my nearest and dearest who may care more about being identified on the web than I do, and afford them some measure of anonymity.

    Second, for me, writing under a pseudonym is a way of side-stepping a whole raft of self-censorship issues! This is what happens when you have a family which contains people who are over 70, highly conservative AND computer literate. If I wrote the kind of blog they could read without being offended it would be sickeningly clean living, anodyne, non sweary and as boring as hell. It would generally read like it was written by a committee.

    So my choice is simple:

    I can write anonymously, say what I want and be one thing to all people who either accept me or harmlessly reject me by not coming back,

    or

    I can be retain my real life identity in which case I have to temper what I say to suit the sensibilities of the most conservative people who know me and will therefore never get to say anything particularly honest or interesting or controversial at all.

    So I sidestep this issue with a pseudonym, to be honest it’s not so much about people I don’t know finding out who I am, it’s more of a way of making sure the people who DO know who I am only find me if I want them to.

    Does this make sense? There is a subtle difference to me although I suspect I’ve explained it very badly.

    Cheers

    BC

  3. PS didn’t mean to copy Sue, this was a virgin post when I arrived and I took so long to make my comment I didn’t see hers or hoist in that she’d made one of my points first.

    Cheers (again)

    BC

  4. Re: Internet anonymity:
    Agree with the comments above. A quality that I was surprised to learn that I share with one of my favorite anonymous bloggers (The Anchoress) is that no one in my family knows that I blog…..even though I write about them frequently. I feel strongly that I owe them their privacy.

    I also agree that some of us are presenting a side of ourselves that is at odds with what others know (or think they know) about us.

    Blogs are different things to different bloggers. For me, it is like a diary, a form of self-amusement. I might write things in my diary that I would never say publicly. Doesn’t mean that they’re bad things, just that they’re private thoughts that I might never blurt out in conversation. Anonymous blogging means those thoughts don’t go to waste!

    I do enjoy your blog, Laurie.

  5. Well, you pretty much just described my blog perfectly, except for the blog club or buddy thing. I don’t have a blog club.

    But the reason I remain anonymous is because I live in a very small town, less than 10,000 people, and I stay anonymous to protect my family. My family is well known in our neck of the woods. It’s not like we’re the Kennedys or Hiltons or anything, but around here, if someone said my name people would automatically wonder if it’s “me”. And my real first name is kind of unique and an old family name. There are just some things one can’t talk about when people know your family.

    But on my blog, I can. I talk about a lot of personal thoughts and emotions that are somewhat erotic sometimes. My family and their associates don’t need to know about that, and I try to be responsible in not embarrassing them.

    It’s like I’ve told my nieces and nephews. Go out, go wild, have your fun, but do it away from the family and keep it separate, and don’t post pictures of you doing ANYTHING on the freaking internet.

  6. Well, Laurie–its just you and me that are “out there” then I guess.

    By the way, I was going to post a very clever little quip here as a comment, then I listened to Chocolate Rain–then I ceremoniously shot myself in the face–so I can’t actually remember the funny thing I was going to say.

    🙂

  7. Everyone has their reasons, Murph. You and I don’t get it..cool. I guess it’s because I’ve been out there in the public eye and my name is my name. As a prominent atty in the nation’s soon to be third largest city, you know what I’m talking about. Like you, I have nothing to hide and rather like being able to be honest and upfront. I understand not everyone has this opportunity or this mindset and that’s OK.

  8. Cheers Laurie. I’m with you. Although I don’t think I’ve ever put my last name on a blog, I’ve never hidden my real first name. Maybe that’s due to the fact that I could never come up with a clever fake name.
    Hey, want to be in my blogging club? I’ll be serving punch and pie.

  9. RE: Anonymity

    That one’s easy. In the last ten years, I’ve received death threats, stalkers, libeled (although it’s extremely difficult to libel an anonymous person – if it was my real name it would have been awful). The year before last someone was forced to quit their job at a newstation simply for linking to me.

    Previously, that person and some of their cohorts took great pains to point out the employment of someone who drew a stick figure of Mohammed on a personal little-known side project website and they got him fired from his consulting job at a local university. Then the Village Voice outlet that brought it up had a good laugh about it.

    Plus, throw our politically correct corporate multi-cultures and “at-will” employment states and you can easily be fired for comments you make on a personal website if someone finds out it’s you. Anonymous or otherwise.

    This is all stupid as hell but people play for keeps.

  10. Re: Item #1

    An extremely wise woman, only 2 short months ago, referred to “a blogosphere rife with bullshit forced-feedings of misplaced narcissism “. Hmmmm…..

  11. I used to stay completely anonymous on the net, because of an ex that was violent and addicted, among other things. But everything I say is always real.
    I think you should sing.
    Like right now.

  12. I think I’ll write redhead rain.

    I stay anonymous so I can say things about my husband that won’t hurt him at his next job interview. He has me edit the bad stuff out anyway.

  13. I don’t believe in anonymity, I’m too open. Except for ‘him’. He’s afraid I’ll tell horror stories that will affect him at work. I could so FUCK him if I wanted to. 😀

    I like that song. Took me forever to figure out that it was about race relations, but when I did, I liked it more because I understood it. 🙂

  14. Race relations? Maybe–I wondered what the reference “Chocolate Rain” was all about. Some of the phrasing is just so damn strange, though.

    I’m curious about something however–why couldn’t Mr. Tay Zonday have composed a less
    agonizing and monotonous tune to lyrically opine about the current state of race relations?

    Well, as an homage to Tay and his notorious warbling, I’m in the process of writing a song about Crohn’s Disease…I’m calling it “Fudgy Sleet”.

    LK

  15. “Fudgy sleet”–ha ha ha–That made me cry–it is wicked, but funny.

    Had to tell you this–today I had 5 hits on my blog from people searching the following string: “overweight and fat KKK people”–wtf?

    I guess somewhere on my blog there is a post about how the KKK really needs to trim down….probably not.

    -MK

  16. I have never blogged anonymously. I have always used my real name of Greg (the shortened version of my middle name).

    The reason my blog has a title other than my name is because my name means nothing to anyone. I chose the name Dissonance because it’s my favorite musical technique and I simply couldn’t come up with anything else at the time.

    As far as “Tay Zonday” is concerned, someone please tell me how this guy is being squashed down by “the man” when he is attending college.

  17. My pseudonym expresses my online interest at this time and I live in a small town.

    Tay Zonday posted his “Chocolate Rain” song for the purpose of getting feedback from other musicians. It was a very rough draft. It was then hijacked by an internet “group” who spread it to the far sectors of the internet as a joke and it backfired. Tay is a self taught musician, lyricist and keyboardist. He was getting his Doctorite in American Studies with an emphasis on the relationship between performance art and social culture. He WAS going to be a college professor. Life is funny.

  18. Life is funny, Tay Fan.

    Varied musical tastes and styles, notwithstanding, he’s a strange little cat, musically speaking.

    I’ve heard some of the other stuff he’s done and all I have to say is that while there is some ability there, it’s OBVIOUS that he’s not classically trained.

    Whether this vid was hijacked or not, Tay has (as I wrote and as you alluded) made the most of this long, monotonous “Chocolate Rain” phenomenon and has attained a modicum of success.

    I hope he invests well, however.

    Why? Because the fact that Tay Zonday’s video is infamous on You Tube and some of the chat shows, isn’t a direct result of his God given talents–it’s a by product of other people (that internet “group”) who had the temerity to mock him in incredibly public forums.

    In that regard, yeah–it backfired.

    But in this You Tube/William Hung/Flash-In-The-Pan world of fame, all you need is a camera, the ability to upload and a little luck. Talent? Not so much.

    I hope Tay reconsiders getting his PhD. Seriously. If that’s ever the case, I wish him well in his doctoral matriculation.

    LK

  19. Listening to my dog sing just now, I know just the thing to do.

    If I can just figure out how to get my new digital video camera to work with the PC.

  20. On pseudonyms:

    I’m a very ordinary girl’s alter ego. She was always wary of being cruel, vain, and materialistic. She was encouraged not to have a head full of irksome opinions.

    She is intrigued by playing dress up. So she takes her sexuality, her irksome opinions, her vanity, materialism, and her inner vixen and puts them into another personality.

    The question is whether this is a blog she writes or a series of short stories by an alter ego.

    It’s great fun.

    And I’m not anonymous, I’m just one of Michele’s little projects.

  21. Laurie, you always post such interesting stuff. I however post mostly politics and rail against the far left. I never worry about stalkers etc as I’m so tiny, it would be more fun for them to scratch an itch.

    I’ve NEVER heard of a blogging club etc, though I can imagine the personality that would join one or start one. Some folk take some stuff way too seriously, or, conversly not enough of the rest of their pitiful lives seriously enough.

    So, though my full name is George Mann Roper, III, I hide behind my nom de pixel GM Roper and thus, GM’s Corner was born.

  22. Well, I blog with a pseudonym because I don’t want the world to know I’m Walt Disney’s frozen head. Heck I went as far as to pick a different religion, ethnicity, and age so my fans wouldn’t suspect. Especially since Barney Google started some engine he keeps finding stuff with.

  23. RE: Pseudonyms…

    Laurie, I have to use one (yes, it’s true…”Nigel” is not my real name…duh).

    I am like Mic…er…W.O.A…my blog “character” is my alter ego. My opinions are my own, but I am not nearly as “snarky” in real life as I am on my blog.

    However, for business reasons, I have to take precaution to “not be found out”. Even though I have freedom of speech, my clients have freedom to not use my services if they disagree with my musings. And I get “Googled” plenty by my clients…

    You on the other hand can put your name on your blog…because it is properly representative of who you are and what you do for a living. I had that discussion with Murphy while I was in Houston…his professional life is not compromised by his blog. Mine would be…

    Now if I made money as a blogger (see Michelle Malkin, Charles Johnson, etc.), I’d have no problem with putting my own name on my stuff.

And now, you may opine your ass off...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s