While perusing the Intrawebnetsphere last month, I stumbled upon a great blog called “Cookie In Hand”, that included the clever post you are about to read.
I then felt compelled to leave a comment which was hardly as ingenious, but it seemed to work and since I am now GAINFULLY EMPLOYED AGAIN (is that Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus I hear in the offing???), I didn’t have to time to write anything else.
Dear Tech Support;
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance- –
Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 NBA 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix theses problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “http:I thought You loved me.HTML” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5., Happy Hour 7.0 and Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT INSTALL Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
1 Response to “INSTALLING HUSBAND”
This was very clever. I enjoyed it very much.
I too, am looking to upgrade soon.
I got so damn tired of all the 404 errors I was encountering with other computers. Each one of them crashed and repeatedly. Ultimately, I had to come to terms that the problem was complete and utter incompatibility; with my circuitry, mainly.
Plus, to add insult to injury, I found their printers frequently scanning other documents when I wasn’t looking.
I stopped trying to figure out computers for a while. I refused to even log on and I didn’t go near one for five years. But after a while, I realized that I needed one; I wanted one. I missed the way it gave me entre to the world.
So, I bought another computer recently…about a year ago, to be exact. It’s an older model…gently used and might I add, very well broken in. I like it because its keyboard is still very responsive to touch and I am delighted with every download, which is slow. I prefer a slower process, which I find is prevalent in older, stable models. And that’s a very good thing.
True, it doesn’t have a lot of bells or whistles, but it’s dependable. It does exactly what it says it will do and it’s brilliant with attachments. Late model computers don’t seem to understand how attachments work but older computers do.
I’m also very impressed with it’s hardware and I’ve been pleasantly surprised that an older model has as much RAM. It’s performance is stellar and the best part? Floppy discs don’t seem to be a problem either.
All in all, it’s an AMAZING educational tool. My computer has taught me amazing things. In fact, it’s schooling me in many ways.
And that means I am content. I am happy and for the first time in my almost 49 years on this planet, I actually love computation. I really do!!
Gotta go. I suddenly just realized that I’m in the mood for a megabyte.