Huh???

french-maid2.jpg

Yum, Yum…gimme some.

Yeah…uh-huh. Right.

What you are about to read is the gospel according to Sexo Medico, Dr. Laura Berman.

She contends that women get turned on by watching men do housework.

Because I’ve NEVER known a man, much less been involved with one, who was willing to do housework per se, I can’t opine on this matter. For those of you broads lucky enough to have a manly man who digs dusting, is this true?

IS mopping the kitchen floor the quickest way for a man to really get to a woman’s heart and G-Spot?

You tell me.

Here’s Berman’s take:

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Say goodbye to French maid costumes. If you want to increase the amount of sex in your relationship, hand the duster to your man!

A recent survey featured in Parenting magazine has found that 15% of women are aroused when their partners pitch in around the house. Additionally, a 2006 study found that men who helped with household chores were more attractive to their spouses. Why is this? Well, aside from the fact that some of us simply enjoy the sight of a man in an apron, it could be that women love their own version of Mr. Clean because it gives us a chance to take a much-needed break.
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Even though the majority of women now work outside the home, most of us still perform the bulk of household chores. Indeed, a U.K. survey found that women who are coupled performed 15 hours of housework a week, while similarly coupled men only perform 5 hours of housework a week. (The survey also found that being part of a couple increases a woman’s workload by 5 hours a week, while coupled men experience a decrease in the amount of chores they perform.)
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Thus, once a man leaves behind the bachelor’s life, the woman begins to pick up the slack (and the socks!). While it is unfair to ask a woman to do more hours of housework a week simply because she is a woman, most people find that this gender role is hard to escape… and women themselves are not blameless in how these roles play out in their relationships.
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After all, so-called “man” chores, like cutting the grass, changing the oil, or taking out the trash are still often relegated to the male of the species. Not to mention, some women suffer from the “do-it-all” syndrome, which further prevents them from handing over the mop. Indeed, being in charge of the household chores means that we get to be in control-we get to decide how the towels are folded, where the mop resides, and when to dust. Sharing the chores with our spouse means relinquishing some of this control, which can be difficult for those of us who like things to be done “just so.”
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Unfortunately, by refusing to share household responsibilities and adding more things on to our plate, we are increasing our own stress level and putting strain on our relationships. Women need to be willing to hand over the mop once in a while, even if it means that the floor isn’t as perfect and shiny as when we mop it! But what happens if your partner isn’t willing or eager to share the mopping duties? Positive reinforcement does much more good than nagging. If you want your partner to wipe up his dinner crumbs, ask him once and then leave it alone. When and if he cleans up after himself, reward him with his favorite treat… in the bedroom. Within a couple months, house cleaning will be akin to the ringing of Pavlov’s bell, and the sound of a vacuum might just get him drooling!
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Remember, a partner who loves and respects you will agree to pitch in more around the house (after all, it’s his mess, too), and when you tell him the reward will be a less-stressed environment and more sex for him… you might just have to drag him away from the dirty dishes and into a bed rife with good, filthy, dirty sex!
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OK, I added the last “filthy, dirty” part because it needed a Laurie-esque ending.But still, you just read this Berman piece. Tell me my Sisters, is this the truth or is it completely unmitigated bullshit???

I need to know because if it’s true, a certain someone is gonna develop dishpan hands.

And why shouldn’t we women have a little fun? Why can’t I sit back and be a lady of leisure as the man in my life makes sure my counter tops and bathtub sparkle? I know I’m entitled. I’ve worked hard. I’ve put forth effort and grit and accomplished much in my life…not unlike my male counterparts. Heck, back in High School, I was successful and my classmates knew it. They all that I’d do very well in life, too. In fact, during my Senior year, I was voted “Most Likely To Wear a Monocle”.

After reading this, I find myself in the midst of concocting a Simon Bar Sinister plan here. Yeah….YEAH!!! We’ll have complete role reversal. I’ll be sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, remote in the other. I won’t budge for hours and I’ll eat Cheetos and then rub my orange crusted hands on the arms of the couch and all over my shirt. It’ll be this gooey, salty mess and everyone will think my boobs have been man-handled by Mr. Peanut.

And to further hammer it home, I’ll let myself go, I won’t bathe, I won’t shave…to the point where each leg will look like a Weyerhauser forestation project in Washington State.

I’ll make him wear a midriff T-shirt and cut offs that show plenty of ass cheek and I’ll tell him to bend lower and at the waist to pick up the dust bunnies accumulating in the corner.

Oh yeah, baby! Ooooh; my mind reels. I can hear it now…

“Hey there Joy Pecs, you missed a spot!”

“That’s right baby, mop in bigger broader, circles…let’s see those muscles flex.”

“Gee watching you work, Baby puts me in the mood for a juicy, foot long hot dog…with mayo. Lots and lots of uh….mayo”.

And lastly…

“Hey, Sugar Tits, I’m going out with the girls tonight. We’re going to play cards. Where’s the Visa, the Master Card and the American Express?”

8 comments

  1. Um, YIKES. But seriously, it does chap my rear when we both get home from work about the same time, I cook while he relaxes, we eat, I clean while he relaxes, I take care of kid and animals while he relaxes, then, as soon as I a chance to sit down, he wants to get it on. Which is the last thing on my mind at that point! Much better chance if you pitched in a little bit pal, then I’d feel more appreciated and relaxed and consequently more likely to engage in sex.

  2. I’d love a man who cleans, but as it is I’m desperado, so just give me a dude with junk that works…LOL…

    PS: foot-long hot-dog with mayo???? Ohhhh YOU….

    😉

  3. Uh…Laurie. I did not authorize you to use that photo of me…

    Murphy is my new attorney…you shall be hearing from him presently…

  4. Hey Nigel, are there any more pics like this. Preferably bending over and giving a cheeky wink?

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