10 Things Blacks & Hispanics Know, But White People Won’t Admit:
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or sanitary and what’s with your kids, soccer and big SUVs?
7. A 5-year-child is too big for a stroller
8. You really don’t think the term “cracker” is a little salt-laden cookie thing that goes with wine and cheese, do you??? I mean, do you????
10. Having your children cuss you out in public is completely inappropriate. So are “time outs” as a means of censuring this behavior. (As a way of properly dealing with this, may we suggest all white people re-revisit #9….often)
6. “Jump out and run, Tito. You too, Juan!!!” is not a substitute for having car insurance
1. O.J. did it.
2. For the last time it’s not ax. It’s “ask”. IT’S “ASK”!!!!!
3. Front teeth should never be gilded OR ever referred to as “teethices”
4. Women should be sure feet are securely placed in the shoe entirely. Just don’t walk on the heels, squishing them down to the soles. Try as you might, you cannot turn pumps or loafers into a pair of mules
5. Your preacher isn’t omniscient
6. Jesse Jackson will never, ever be president
7. Red is not a Kool-aid or soft drink flavor; it’s a color
8. Church does not require female members to wear huge hats adorned with more flora than found in Holland
9. For the love of God, shut the hell up while watching a movie in a theater!!!!
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car
EDITORS NOTE: Is this post “racist”? Hardly. It’s observational humor. It acknowledges the cultural differences we have as humans (and here’s a newsflash–we are different), but it also celebrates our similarities by pointing out our ability to laugh at these differences. The mere fact that we recognize they exist, also represents our commonality. In other words, we identify these quirks in each other and that, believe it or not, is the tie that binds.
Do these quirks exist across the board? No, but it’s an unavoidable fact that there is a basis of truth in every stereotype. In fact, I defy you to review the above “truths” one more time and tell me that you’ve never, ever recognized a single one as being relatable to a particular ethnic group…even if it’s among your own. If you laughed at any one of these or at the very least thought, “Oh yeah! I’ve noticed that!“, then I’ve made my case.
As I see it, if endless TV Public Service Announcements on race relations, desegregation, forced busing, “After School Specials”, hours of Sensitivity Training, the movie, “Billy Jack” and metaphors regarding Neapolitan ice cream and how it’s three different flavors peacefully co-exist in the same carton haven’t brought about detente, maybe humor can.
It’s worth a try.