Not So Famous Last Words

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The following is a list of things that select famous people said right before they died.

Some are prophetic, quite deep and all are very, very interesting.

Oh yeah…one more thing: I added a few “last words” of my own.

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Thomas Jefferson–still survives…
~~ John Adams, US President, d. July 4, 1826
(Actually, Jefferson had died earlier that same day.)

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This is the last of earth! I am content.
~~ John Quincy Adams, US President, d. February 21, 1848

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See in what peace a Christian can die.
~~ Joseph Addison, writer, d. June 17, 1719

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Is it not just a little meningitis?
~~ Louisa M. Alcott, writer, d. 1888

I think she said, “All things considered, I probably should have entitled the book, “Little Womengitis”.

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Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well–let ’em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, “General, I fear the angels are waiting for you.”
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

I think he said, “I hope the furniture stores which will someday bear my name AND eventually have convenient locations all over America, will refuse to sell that particle board under veneer crap!”

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Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly and looked around during her last illness. She found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

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Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
~~ Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817

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Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968 )

EDITOR’S NOTE: I would’ve liked to have known La Bankhead. She was indeed, a broad’s broad.

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How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

I think he actually said, “And one dies every minute.  Tell Ringling Brothers to suck it!”

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Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I think he really said, “Please…PLEASE someone promise to tell Drew NOT to do “Boys On The Side” and to avoid that whole Tom Green nonsense!”

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Now comes the mystery.
~~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, d. March 8, 1887

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Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

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I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

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Josephine…
~~ Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, May 5, 1821

I think he said, “Yeah Josephine. Here’s my will, I’ve been keeping it glued to my hand, in my coat for decades.”

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I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

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Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~~ Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

I think with regard to his famous lullaby,  he really said, “I’ve always hated sleeping babies.”

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Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.
Spoken to her husband of 9 months, Rev. Arthur Nicholls.
~~ Charlotte Bronte, writer, d. March 31, 1855

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Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.
~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861

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Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
~~ Lord George Byron, writer, d. 1824

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I am still alive!
Stabbed to death by his own guards – (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

I think he said, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with equine sex!”

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Ay Jesus.
~~ Charles V, King of France, d. 1380

What I think he actually heard upon dying...(a harp glissando then a loud, heavenly voice saying,”Yes Chuckie?”

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The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.
~~ Frederic Chopin, composer, d. October 16, 1849

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I’m so bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

I think he said, “This will NOT BE my finest hour!”

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I have tried so hard to do the right.
~~ Grover Cleveland, US President, d. 1908

What I think he really said, “The Indians will never win the Pennant!”

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That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

I think he really said, “I was always funnier than Abbot, that lousy Dean Martin wannabe!”

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Goodnight my darlings, I’ll see you tomorrow.
~~ Noel Coward, writer, d. 1973

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Damn it . . . Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper and others who had gathered around her, praying out aloud. Reportedly, Crawford was livid at this and felt some of the people at her death bed had no business being there. She felt they’d been users and made her life miserable
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

I think she said, “NO MORE DIRE HARANGUERS!!!”

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That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis “Bing” Crosby, singer/actor, d. October 14, 1977

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I am not the least afraid to die.
~~ Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882

I think he said in his last delirious moments, “Oooh, look at the pretty fish…. and his feet!”

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My God. What’s happened?
~~ Diana (Spencer), Princess of Wales, d. August 31, 1997

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I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886

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Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
Minutes before her plane crashed.
~~ Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, d. 1996

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Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)
~~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, d. 1927

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KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.
Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~~ Amelia Earhart, d. 1937

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It is very beautiful over there.
~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931

I think he said, “Say buddy, can you douse the light? It’s shining in my eyes. God, I miss the days of candles and kerosene lamps.”

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All my possessions for a moment of time.
~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

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I’ve never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

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I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I thin he said, “Death? Dying? I’s all the same, right? Why split atoms….I mean HAIRS…why split hairs?”

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I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

I think he actually said, “All those swashbuckling roles did make me a little fagela, right?

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A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790

I think he said, “A kite, a key and a thunderstorm? What the hell was I thinking?”

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Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.
~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, d. March 22, 1832

I think he actually said, “Wiemar Classicism? What was I thinking? I really wanted to write a cookbook about Southern German cuisine and I would’ve called it, “A Little Bitte Bavaria”.

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I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto “Che” Guevara, d. October 9, 1967

But I really think he said, “I hope stupid American kids who think they’re anarchists will someday wear T-shirts and shit with my likeness on it. And that Obama staffer and that flag on the wall, too.”

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Yes, it’s tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959

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God will pardon me, that’s his line of work.
~~ Heinrich Heine, poet, d. February 15, 1856

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Turn up the lights, I don’t want to go home in the dark.
~~ O. Henry (William Sidney Porter), writer, d. June 4, 1910

I think he really said, “I sure hope they name a candy bar after me.”

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All is lost. All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~~ Henry VIII, King of England, d. 1547

I think he really said, “Blue 52…blue 52..Hike Hike Hike”

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I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, d. 1679

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I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

I think he said, “Oh , hasten death, I’m really feeling le miserable”.

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Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed “in error” by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.
~~ General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, d. 1863

I think he really said, “Me and Neidermeyer from “Animal House”. Damn! It just doesn’t pay to be hated by your own men! “

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Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826

I think he really asked, “What quarter is it?”

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Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
From Luke 23:46
~~ Jesus Christ

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Does nobody understand?
~~ James Joyce, writer, d. 1941

I think he really said..“Would you believe that “Ulysses” actually started out as a short story.  I just couldn’t stop writing.”

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Why not? Yeah…..
~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996

I think he said, “I’m glad I never had an addictive personality and kids, take it from me—kust say no to…no to….ARRRGGHHHH!!!!”

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Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

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I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, d. 1820

What I think she said, “Really come on, ya’ll…. let’s be serious. “Prussia”. Isn’t that actually a misspelling? Really, someone. Now’s the time to get this straight!”

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Let’s cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

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Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

I think he really said, “Screw the concept of religion being the opiate of the people, give ME some opiates, dammit!!!!. This dying shit is painful!”

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Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
~~ Louis B. Mayer, film producer, d. October 29, 1957

I think he really said,”Tell the Academy that awarding anyone that ridiculous Irving R. Thalberg Award only means they were never good enough to win an Oscar. By the way, Shirley Temple was a no talent hack!”

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It’s all been very interesting.
~~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, d. 1762

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I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room – and God damn it – I died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O’Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953

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Good-bye . . . why am I hemorrhaging?
~~ Boris Pasternak, writer, d. 1959

I think he really said, “Don’t cast Julie Christie or Omar Sharif, please!!! Especially not Omar Sharif!!”

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Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, d. October 7, 1849

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I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

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Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.
~~ Alexander Pope, writer, d. May 30, 1744

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I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

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Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

What I think he really said, “Bully!”

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They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

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Sister, you’re trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I’m done, I’m finished, I’m going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

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I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

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Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

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God bless… God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

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I feel here that this time they have…… succeeded.
~~ Leon Trotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

What I really think he said, “Frida Kahlo sucks as an artist.  The bitch couldn’t even draw conclusions!”

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Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I think he really said, “No, honor me properly, Vato. Don’t call it the Number 9 dinner…call it the Pancho Villa….with beans.”
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I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

I think he really said, “Don’t do it Tom Hanks! Seriously, don’t do it!!! The book will always be better and besides, the movie could be career suicide.”

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I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~~ George Washington, US President, d. December 14, 1799

What he really said, “I knew that cannot tell a lie stuff would eventually bite me in the ass. I’ve been lying the whole time. I really don’t want to die”.

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Go away. I’m all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

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Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

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I am ready.
~~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, d. 1924

4 comments

  1. “There….is….another….Sky….Walker”
    Yoda

    I didn’t even have to look it up–I’m a total geek.

    Great post–very cool!

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