Of Mice and Bloggers

Caruso, I am told, loved the sound of his own voice.

Unfortunately, that’s the case with so many bloggers these days. They love the view from their own keyboards.

Sad too. I’m sure they have much to say, it’s just obscured by their own “pontificatory” arrogance. You need a machete to cut through the overgrowth of prolix.

As a comedy writer, that’s what I know; humor is what draws me in and when I find a legitimately funny blog, I become childishly giddy.

Vonnegut’s Asshole turns me into a toddler with a fairly decent rack.

Author, Eric Spitznagle is the singular brain trust behind this very, very funny blog. He’s penned articles for just about every major mag on the planet; he’s written six books and is in the process of adding the seventh to his resume.

I am in awe of this man.

So, can you imagine the shock I received when I received an e-mail from him? Oh yeah…it was that suppress my tongue and secure my appendages to the table kind of shock. He called me “a fellow writer who’s work he greatly admired”.


Then he went on to say: I don’t care for much of what passes for comedy writing on the web. I visit even my favorite blogs about as often as I get a colonoscopy. But since discovering you Laurie, I’ve had a renewed faith in what’s possible in this online journal racket. I’ll just come right out and admit it, your site is addictive. If I was Keith Richards, your blog would be smack. I read it when I should be doing other things, more productive things, like writing or spending time with family or friends. If I don’t finish my novel this year, you’ll have to accept as least part of the blame.

Receiving his e-mail made my day, week, month….my year. I am flattered beyond words.

Then, I realized something…

Could it be?

Do I ?

At this stage of my life, do I actually have a literary crush on this brilliant, dashing, young incredibly accomplished writer?

Impossible. I am far too old and too mature.

Mr. and Mrs. Eric Spitznagle

Mrs. Eric Spitznagle

Laurie Kendrick Spitznagle

Mr. and Mrs. Pulitzer

Once I greased my ego-engorged cephalitic noodle to the point where I was able to get it through the door, I went to the kitchen and had frosty beverage. I toasted Eric Spitznagle and Vonnegut’s Asshole. It’s smart and heady and piquant. In a blogosphere filled with pretentious drivel and self absorbed narcissistic horse skatole, this blog is like a silken sachet of beautiful lilacs, tuberoses and all that other floral shit that smells really nice.


  1. You know, Laurie, I was doing the same thing to you:

    Mrs. and Mr. Laurie Kendrick

    Mr. Laurie Kendrick

    Nigel Kendrick…

    It just didn’t have the same ring.

    (then of course I saw how you eviscerated “Michael” and decided that I’d better keep my distance)

  2. LK: your mission–to make sure I’m not falling into one of the blogs you so cleverly described. If I am you are tasked with pulling me out. I don’t want to sound too Peter Cetera–but you are my blogging inspiration–I don’t want to let you down.

    On a related note–“ego-engorged cephalitic noodle” could be the funniest adjective phrase I’ve ever read.


  3. There is NO WAY IN HELL I could ever, would ever refer to you, my darling Juris Doctor.

    You are my blogging protege. Slapping you with an insult would be slapping myself with one. No way.

    You mah babuh brah.


  4. Thanks, but as an attorney I naturally think everything is “about me” so imagine my horror when I read this post. 😉

  5. While I’m no Eric Spitznagle, I would concur that your blog is addictive. There are times I don’t feel up to reading blogs, but as soon as I feel better, yours is one I quickly turn back to and read those posts I’ve missed.

    You do a good work, Laurie. Keep it up.

  6. I appreciate the compliment, but I’m pretty sure I’d take your surname. Do you really want to be Laurie Spitznagel? (Or as they’d call you in Germany, Laurie Sharpnail.) Then again, Eric Kendrick has a few too many hard K’s. Every time I say it out loud, I feel like I’m scolding a child.

    Maybe we should just combine our names, Brangelina style. Spitzdrick? Hmmm. Sounds like a freaky Asian fetish like bukakki. Kenagel? Isn’t that an Italian delicacy with ricotta cheese? Reminds me of a line from The Godfather. “Leave the gun, take the Kenagel.”

    I’ve got it! Kenitzdragel. It’s somewhere between a Hanukkah party game and a monster from an 8th century epic poem about gladiators.

    See you on our wedding day, Mrs. Kenitzdragel.

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