Where I Live & Work

I live in Houston. It is the rapidly growing megalopolis in which I work and play and pay exorbitant taxes.

Interesting city…Houston. It’s the nation’s fourth largest but rapidly giving Chicago, which for years has held steady at number three, a good run for it’s money.

I may live in Houston, but I exist; I thrive in LaurieLand. It is my world…and I am the Mayor and benign despot to a populace of one.

Me.

I refer to it frequently in many posts.

What? You don’t believe in LaurieLand?

E-MAIL INQUIRY: Is this place you speak of, the verdant and quaint village that magically appears on the Scottish horizon every 100 years and then was made into a Broadway musical, which was followed by a circa 1954 film extravaganza starring master hoofer, Gene Kelly?

No, that’s LaurieDoon.

LaurieLand is something entirely different.

laurieland.jpg

See? It’s real!!

It’s the capital of the film industry. That’s right…the population of LaurieLand produces more dental plaque (per capita) than any other American city.

In fact, a young periodontist, who was down on her luck committed suicide by hurling herself from the “U” back in 1948.

I also often speak of the corporation I own. It too, is real.

laurie-industries.jpg

.

I do my blogging in a room in the back where I spend most of my time…that is, when I’m not out front selling phone cards, car deodorizer, Yoohoos and fake Social Security numbers (side gig, ONLY) to anxious, but enthusiastic non-English speaking consumers.

I have regular customers. The ones who speak some English are friends of mine, I suppose. We laugh and joke and kid each other.

Especially as they leave my store.

They say, “Goodbye, Godless infidel woman whore”.

I forgive them for the tautological mistake and respond with things like, “Don’t let the door salaam you in the ass, shithead!”

Good times…..

4 comments

  1. Now I know where we can go on our next vacation, I am really getting tired of Destin Florida.

    LaurieLand here we come!!!!

    I can’t wait to pack up the ol maroon ’99 suburban, write “Laurieland or Bust” on the windows. We’ll put the suit cases on top in trash bags in case of rain, and head for the hills. It sounds sooooo exciting.

    I’m also looking for a job, any openings at Laurie Industries?

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