I am no different than any other human being.
I have my likes and dislikes…my turn ons and turn offs. I possess certain idiosyncrasies that are, as the mere word implies, my own.
I like being me. I haven’t always been able to say that, but I can say that now.
I love my blog. Nay, I adore my blog. It has saved my life. This year was filled with so many disappointments…the death of my best friend….job loss….money woes….a nasty little health issue and of course, the loss of a very relevant relationship. But I survived each gut wrenching incident and I did so by being able to freely express how I felt without anyone judging me about content. Propriety should never be an issue when it comes to personal artistic expression.
I do love my blog but should it ever fall by the wayside (and let’s be realistic, all things must end) I would never start another one. Blogging–in my humble opinion–is something you should only do once and one time only.
You know…like being born, witnessing an execution and watching “The View”.
The other day, I was visiting the lovely and talented Molly and her wonderful pre-marital blog (she’s marrying the dashing Michael next year). It is called, These Little Moments .
You should check it, you really should.
In a recent post, she listed several things that we would never hear her say and one of the voices in my head read them and then said, “Gee, that’s funny. Why don’t you steal the idea LK and put your ridiculous spin on the thing and cock it all up?”
To which I responded, out loud, “Yeah, sure. I can do that.”
So here you go…
Things You’ll Never Hear Me Say
• Here, you finish this for me. I can’t eat another bite.
• I’ll pay you back. Promise.
• How do these jeans make my ass look?
• Noam Chomsky’s writing is just a little too Conservative for my tastes.
• Jim J. Bullock did amazing work on TV’s “Too Close For Comfort”. He was robbed…ROBBED of the Emmy!
• Why of course I’m a registered Democrat.
• I’m getting up an hour early so I can be the first to enter the gym the minute the lights go on. Spin Class…YIPPEE!!!!!!
• No please, Baby, let ME mow the grass today. It’s August in Houston and I adore sweating. You just sit there, relax in the cool comfort of air conditioning in our tastefully appointed den and read the latest, Jihadist Monthly.
• Mr. Vick, I’m looking for a good home for my beloved dog, Scraps.
• Let me pick up the tab. Really. Please…allow me.
• Mu’Ammar Qaddafi is so hot. Those Libyan bitches are lucky!!
• I hate beer.
• I refuse to eat carbs.
• I hope Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic nod and then the presidency. I think Bill will help guide her….especially when it comes to properly educating our children.
• I’ve never eaten pot brownies.
• I’d kill to see “Boys To Men” in concert.
• Reverend Al Sharpton has done nothing to warrant an FBI probe.
• I’ll sure miss Ike Turner’s warm, kind and friendly smile. He was such a gentle man.
And the last that you’ll never hear me say…
• OK, but is there any actual “blowing” involved?