A friend of mine, sent this to me not long ago.
These are actual personal ads that have appeared in several different Israeli newspapers and they’re real, too–honest to Elijah!
I’m still disappointed that so few of my Gentile friends understand the comedy in these ads.
Feh–the funny is wasted on Goyim! It’s a shanda!!
Shmuel Gabbai, 36.
I take out the Torah Saturday morning.
Would like to take you out Saturday night.
Couch potato latke in search
of the right applesauce.
Let’s try it for 8 days.
Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul
light shabbos candles,
build Sukkah together,
attend brisses, bar mitzvahs –
Religion not important.
Sincere rabbinical student, 27, enjoys
Tisha B’av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedalia,
Asarah B’Teves, Shiva Asar b’Tammuz. Completely kosher
Seeks companion for living life in the “fast” lane.
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos.
Seeks same in woman.
Nice Jewish guy, 38.
Female graduate student,
studying kaballah, Zohar,
exorcism of dybbuks,
No weirdos, please.
Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath
candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles,
Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.
Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart,
independent, self-made, looking for girl
whose father will hire me.