Magazine writer and editor Ty Wenger revealed in Redbook recently what every woman wants to know: What secrets are our husbands or boyfriends keeping from us ?
Before we get into the specifics of the article, let’s discuss “lies”.
We all lie. We tell big ones, little white ones. We omit certain facts of a “pesky” nature.
One gender isn’t worse then the other when it comes to this human foible. Perhaps, the principle difference lies in why we lie.
In terms of the Penis People, men lie. Make NO mistake about that. And those who tell too many lies and keep too many secrets risk souring a relationship from lack of trust. On the flip side, some of the more innocuous lies are told and secrets are kept to keep the peace. But does that make the act of lying any less of a lie????
The same with women–we lie A LOT, but we’re not talking about how we women HAVE to lie sometimes in order to force his hand. When we do, does that mean we’re being manipulative bitches? Well, frankly yes, but how is that different from men who sweet talk women to get them in bed???
No hay diferencia, mi gente!!!
We’re all master manipulators and that means no reprieve—the battle wages on for the ultimate state of control.
I’ll post on women’s frailties later. Right now it’s about men, their secrets and the hidden things they think and feel and don’t want us to know.
This is the stuff Wenger attempts to reveal.
And take heed, my fellow Mammarians, some of Wegner’s 11-secrets that Im about to reveal will piss you off a bit; others may melt your heart to the point where that old boy might just get lucky tonight.
They are as follows:
1. Yes, he falls in lust 10 times a day — but it doesn’t mean he wants to leave you or fall in love with the source of his lust.
2. He actually DOES play golf and cards to get away from you.
Gee! I don’t understand that one!! What’s a little nagging???
3. He’s unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after he has made one to you.
As a single female who wants to believe there is an emotional forever for me somewhere out there, the possibility of this one being true absolutely THRILLS me. (sarcasm implied)
4. Earning money makes him feel important.
Our shared bank account and credit rating are quite happy about that, too!
5. Though he often protests, he actually enjoys fixing things around the house.
Really???? Is my current paramour very good with handling a hammer, you ask? Only if I tell him it’s a new fangled fork!
6. He likes it when you mother him, but he’s terrified that you’ll become your mother.
There’s NOTHING wrong with my Mother. She’s a healthy eater, that’s all. Besides, if beauty is skin deep….fat is just deep skin. It’s glandular, you bastard!!
7. In many healthy relationships, the guy loves us more with every passing year. Perhaps it’s in his own special way, but it’s true, says Wegner.
I desperately…DESPERATELY want to believe this one.
8. He really doesn’t understand what you’re talking about when you discuss “issues” in your relationship. It makes no sense at all to him — even though he will nod in agreement. But make no mistake, he is uncomfortable with your display of emotion.
“Huh? Duh? Der? Uh, but I love you, Petunia! You’re very pretty. Uh….those jeans don’t make you look like you’ve gained the 20 pounds you’ve actually gained in the past two months!! Oh no, please don’t eat that box of stuffing mix!!! Here, take my 401K. All of it!. May I offer you a testicle, too??”
9. He’s terrified when you drive (with or without him in the car–it doesn’t matter, he’ s still scared FOR you and let’s be honest, with you behind the wheel, he’s scared for all of mankind, too!!) and yes sometimes he might have good reason to feel this way.
10. He’ll always wish he was 25 again. Then again, women understand this. So do we.
11. Give him an inch and he’ll give you a lifetime.
Translation of 1 through 11:
We should let them be the dumb asses they can often be without chastising them for it. We should allow them a few nights and weekends to themselves. As in alone–without us. We’re not attached at the hip. We’re not that fragile. We should say yes to poker night with their buddies and let them go on golf vacations or a four day hunting excursions without us.
If we do this, Wegner says they’ll love us forever.
Is this true, Gentlemen? How do you feel about this? Is Wegner right on the money or full of shit? Did he reveal anything that you really wanted kept secret from us? Can we get closer to you by relinquishing our grip on you and allowing you, “you” time?
Please, continue our education. Let us know.
And as for my Sisters of Fallopia, I’d like to know how you feel about this. I mean how do you REALLY feel about this????
Comment, won’t you?