Thanksgiving Weekend Stuff

turkey1.jpg.

HERE WE ARE… IN THE THROWS OF THE LONG THANKSGIVING WEEKEND.

WHAT’S THERE TO DO NOW BUT EAT LEFTOVERS, WATCH FOOTBALL AND MAKE FUN OF RELATIVES WHO’VE GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT SINCE EASTER??.

OH YEAH, I GUESS YOU COULD SHOP THE POST TURKEY DAY/PRE CHRISTMAS SALES. THAT’S RIGHT LOSER–YOU COULD DO THAT, BUT NOT WITHOUT FIRST READING THIS HOOT-FILLED POST ABOUT THINGS THAT WOULD ORDINARILY SOUND VERY DIRTY AT ANY OTHER TIME OF THE YEAR OTHER THAN AT THANKSGIVING…

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“Whew, that’s one terrific spread!”

“I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.”

“Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.”

“Talk about a huge breast!”

“It’s Cool Whip time!”

“If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!”

“Are you ready for seconds yet?”

“Are you going to come again next time?”

“It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?”

“Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!”

“Don’t play with your meat.”

“Just spread the legs open &stuff it in.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?”

“I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!”

“You still have a little bit on your chin.”

“Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.”

“How long will it take after you stick it in?”

“You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.”

“Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!”

“How many are coming?”

“That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!”

“Just lay back & take it easy…I’ll do the rest.”

“How long do I beat it before its ready?”

“Let’s do it in the Dinning room”

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And last but not least…..

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“Fuck you, Uncle Bob!! That’s MY drumstick, you whore!!!!”

7 comments

  1. Seconds never tasted THIS good!

    and

    Can I heat that up for you?

    and

    I sure do love your pie!

    and

    Save those drippings, you’ll want them later.

  2. Son, now that you’re a man, you can slice the bird.

    I love your stuffing.

    Your gravy is tasty.

    I want those leftovers.

  3. p.s. I know they call it “Black Friday” because it determines whether or not stores will be “in the black” (profitable) this year, but sheesh, sounds kinda ominous, and racist.

    Alternative:

    Phreaky Friday (get your debt on)!

And now, you may opine your ass off...

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