Just Call Me Hillary


I really don’t want to do this, but some prodding from a man with whom I’ve been intimate and my own need to avoid all of Ralph Nader’s electoral pitfalls, compels me.

A few weeks ago, my little old blog was nominated for Funniest Blog in the 2007 Weblog Awards. I was touched, flattered and honored and until I was nominated, had never even heard of this competition.

But somehow, through the muck and mire of my mind, through my tears and frustration as a peri-menopausal woman battling shriveling ovaries and through months of abject unemployment and countless temper tantrums, I find my blog has made it to the finals.

The finals.

You can see the voting process right here.

My friends at the Nose On Your Face, a very funny blog, has also been nominated. With them, I am definitely in good company.

I’d also like to show my support (and so should you!!) for Nicole at Pinch My Salt, an absolutely lovely food blog. Beautifully done! Click here to vote for Pinch My Salt.

And also, please vote my mi amiga, Fausta for her category.

To be honest, I was very disappointed in learning that results from this competition are politically based. The process to determine actual finalists is far more meticulously done than the actual voting itself. A special committee does that. Voting however, is based on how much campaigning you do. I won’t do that.

My blog either wins on it’s own merits….or it doesn’t.

In the vast configuration of things my friends, popularity is nice—-I would know—-I was a cheerleader. But the strength of this blog especially IS NOT fueled by votes, a title or a certificate. It is a combination of my warped mind, how pissed off I am about a particular issue and of course, you—-the reader. That you read this blog is enough. It is JUST seven months old as of Halloween. Not that many people have heard of me.


Even so, I am lucky and I am grateful to have the readership I have.


Without you, I am doo doo.


  1. I voted this morning for ya–will vote tonight from home computer and keep it up until the 8th when voting ends.

    Key-you are so right–not funny at all–although a whoopee cushion at a funeral would make me laugh if the dead person was not that close to me–oh to hell with it–it would be funny no matter who it was–after all they are dead–they won’t know the difference.

  2. Comedy is as comedy does, Key. There are people who think you and I aren’t funny…


    Karol, the Prime Minister is fine. He makes me smile

  3. oh ok. i have tivo and zip through commercials so i am not up on sexual transmitted diseases

  4. you forget i spent the first 21 years of my life with the old girl. i’ve seen her apt of hers and i can tell you truthfully that she could raise more than felines in there.

  5. why is that dr pepper lady getting so many votes? someone please tell me how she is funnier than my sister?

  6. LK has my vote and my friends are voting for her too. We’ve all been voting. Can’t quite understand why the votes are not registering.

    Guess it’s rigged.

  7. Karol, boobs has something like 21 percent of the vote.

    I just checked and LK is in second to last place with 19 votes.


  8. as i told you, laurie, you’re a winner with your readers and you don’t need a title to prove that. we’re all proud of you anyway.

  9. Friends?

    Let me put it this way, if Key was dying because he needed a kidney transplant and my kidney proved to be a perfect donor match, know what would happen?

    Key would die.

  10. CONGRATS!! This is big news. I’m planning on riding your coattails to crazy, out-of-control success, so I need you to win things like this.

    But seriously, this is so great. You deserve it. I love your blog.

  11. Did you remind your children to vote for me and that they should do so, because I have no children of my own and therefore no one else to leave my vast riches?

  12. except for Mark who is coaching a Friday night football game (7 and 1 tto be exact- go Mansfield High!!)Luke is at Terlingua right now. dana is not here so it’s just me baby!!

  13. Thanks NTR.

    You know, you’ve voted for me. I’ve spent months communning with you on this thing. You now know my sisters and a great deal about my family.

    Who are you and can we at least know your first name?

    It’s time, don’t you think?

  14. yea NTR what is your real name??since you will be escorting us around Savannah soon don’t you think we should be on a first name basis?? Don’t make us gues like that NI person- by the way haven’t heard from it in a while.

  15. I knew it!!! I guessed that you were about my age. (but I am a little older unless you are lying) LK and I think you are preppy and very classy. right???

  16. I think that Nathaniel is a nice name-how about Kathleen??? never liked it when I was younger but kinda do now that I it doesn’t matter any more!

  17. yes we are just that…beautiful and damned luminescent and of course, mysterious. The quintessence of feminine, too. Proper and lady like

    Hey Kathy–Kathy I just picked out a booger that looks like Ed Sullivan

  18. HAHAHAHAHA laurie..how true! Feminine allright! Beautiful too. Sexy? Of course

    Nate, I wouldn’t call any of us mysterious. I think troubled and puzzling would be more accurate.

  19. There is some Scotch, Irish, German, Polish, and Cherokee Indian in our bloodline and Lord knows what else that they just won’t admit to. Our great grandmother came to Texas in a covered wagon from Pennsylvania-part of the Dutch colony. The Kendrick was original McKendrick and their were three brothers that actually arrived in Boston are and migrated to Illinois and surrounding states. so here we are! still here!

  20. Residential mostly and lately a lot of renos here in Atlanta.

    Some commercial, too. But mostly private residents.

  21. I think people who read this blog are a bit different to begin with. I wouldn’t say LK writes for the everyman. I do remember a lot. I have to in my life of work.

    Also, nothing pisses me off more than watching those crap shows that remodel for less than a grand. Trust me what the camera doesn’t show is that the work reflects a thousand dollars worth of work.

  22. I like to watch flip this house especially the ones featuring our San Antnio friends the Montelongo bros. Do you know ’em Juan???

  23. I agree but these guys really do look like they put alot into those renos. They upgrade a lot and He uses his wife to do the decorating and she choses very nice appliances and usually the kitchens are very nice. The most important room in the house I think.

  24. that you were classy- like last night when I created the Man Chair I also mentioned that you would probably prefer a classice wing back instead.

  25. I deal mainly with different era of parents who are creating a lot of selfish, non-problem solving children who think the world revolves around them. I think it would be easier sometimes to deal mainly with the kids like I used to.

  26. I’m doing fine Kathy, thanks. Sorry Laurie, I didn’t know about it.
    My twenty year-old is here tonight. She let us down by telling us she’s not going to spend the night here. Her younger sister is pissed. So am I.

  27. You can still vote for LK if you want to. Voting continues until next week sometimes. At last check the old girl was in last place. She refuses to campaign like the others are. I can respect her for that.

  28. Greg, I speak from experience…if she doesn’t want to spend the night don’t worry….they will eventually be back with their baggage in tow, stuff, children and or spouses, etc. I do know how you are feeling but I have finally let go and are concentrating on me for a change-I take it that you are much younger than me.

  29. Kathy? Where are you? Is LK trying to dig out from old Kansas farm house that no doubt fell on top of her?

  30. you’ll have to excuse her as she is talking the the prime minister (I don’t feel like capitalizing sometimes) and wishes not to be disturbed.

  31. I don’t have kids either Greg, but Kathleem of the House of Used To Be Kendrick. I have nieces and nephews and at certain ages they know everything and want nothing to do with their moms and dads, the little demons.

  32. her shoes are curling as we speak! she’ll be back soon. good to know that you are back in one piece Nate

  33. oh, you don’t know about him? He has resurfaced and I will have to let her tell you, Now don’t get jealous- she’s too young for you anyway. you need a more mature women with lots of knowledge and experience.

  34. she has had many boyfiends in the past -haven’t met the PM but hope to soon. she wasn’t lying to you, this was a vacation of sorts for her.

  35. I’ll do that NTR, Laurie.
    Kathy, she tried that once but backed out when I told her I wouldn’t allow any of her stupid-idiot boyfriends around here after sundown. She’s coming back tomorrow morning so I can take them both to her mother’s for a sleepover. Sad, huh?

  36. you will need to always refer to him as the prime minister-s . He watches from afar. I’m sure that he has been reading her blogs. Hi PM!!!!

  37. shit- I can’t decided if I need to open a new bottle of wine cause I just finished the other one I have been nursing on for three days. I am leaving tomorrow morning for Austin to meet a friend for the weekend and need to save the new ones for the trip. Guess I will have to sacrifice.

  38. are you worried Nate??? she does need to be happy-she is very special and when (I know that we will) meet soon you will hear a lot more of our lives.

  39. does that Mexico vanilla count?? I hear it’s stronger than the store bought kind. How about it Juan???

  40. we are going to SG even if we have to hitch rides from Texas. If she comes with us, do you have an old uncle or something?

  41. Hi, and I voted for you! Sorry, I missed last night but, it was Ugly Betty and Gray’s night. But, congratulations! You deserve to be number 1! You are the BEST! So, good night and have a great time!

  42. Life in Karnes City…Cheryl will testify to this. It was a good place to raise a family. a lot of things to do, good schools, churches, lots of young families. Times were so different then. There are 7 1/2 years difference in LK and my ages. 3 1/2 years between Karol and I. If you were to look at our family pictures they would probably look like everyones elses-but our family was nuts.

  43. I just told Laurie to get the f— back here. I can’t handle all this at once. I told her that the cat is out of the bag- she will have to come clean.( AS HARD AS THAT MAY BE FOR HER)

  44. you know this isn’t too bad after all having the reigns without LK and Karol intererupting the conversations. You see the Crews side of our family taught us well…we just jump in there and take over

  45. Thanks,and hello Juan 4 Keycoon and how are you doing , tonight? I hope everything goes well for you…. I fixing to sign out and go to bed, I have to work tomorrow, giving everyone their money! So, good night LK and rest of all of you!

  46. That would be our mom’s side of the family-the German/Cherokee Indian side-what does that tell you?? Actually, it was spelled Kruse in Germany buy was Americanized to Crews but is quite mistaken as Cruz in Texas.

  47. Greg, she is talking to the prime minister. she will return shortly. this will give you something to talk about. Nate are you here?

  48. Karol had to go to a football game tonight- otherwise she would be helping me calm you people down. I told her that I have introduced PM and now there is no going back.

  49. one and it’s not nice. I haven’t met PM yet. I hope to really soon. Hey, I’ve got an idea-we can bring him along to SG. Sounds like a good idea, Natey???

  50. not…do you want to know how long it’s been since I have been on a date? well that’s too long. I was a child bride (20 years old) who married her high school (KCHS sweetheart) I can’t even imagine being in that position again!

  51. You know my full name really was Kathleen Crews Kendrick and I always couldn’t stand it. I wanted something else that sounded feminine. Nonie is divorced from our dad for the past 30 years and has never remarried. Why, are you interested Natey?

  52. yes DT- you know it’s getting harder to type full words, I think I am going to shorten them to one letter words- kinda of a drunken short hand thing.

  53. I am not a drunk. but I prefer that to beer unless it is a very cold Tecati with lime. I’m from Texas so I likes me that mexican beer.(sometimes) when I am in Mexico, but I haven’t gotten my passport yet so I am stuck in and have to pretend I am there. shit what did i JUST SAY??

  54. so laurie, how was your ever so long BREAK?? How could you leave a novice here by themselves?

  55. I guess Nate’s girlfriend must have called…gone a long time-I think I am getting a little jealous.
    I feel better now.

  56. I got a call from the ex wanting to talk to our daughter (she was looking for pointers about playing a certain song on the piano)
    I’m still here.

  57. Laurie Laurie Laurie……..hey Greg I guess you have heard our state slogan, don’t mess with Texas. WE MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  58. hi billy, are you bill crews our cousin? never can tell these days. we do have a cousin named bill. are you William?

  59. seriously tho Greg this business with children doesn’t get any better as they grow older. Mine have cause me more grief as adults than they ever did as kids. I love em to death but I’m tired. you haven’t gotten there yet. you will….

  60. then maybe you have heard of Karnes City? did you graduate fron Carroll(sp) HS or what was the other one?

  61. Guess what kids! KEY is about to join us!!

    YEAH the crops are saved!

    Hi Billy. Do I know you?

    Sister: Do you think I live on the phone with the Prime Minsister?? I do not.

  62. Actually it’s Bill from Veggiemacabre. I just consider you, LK a friend so i go by Billy. Bill is my work name. it just doesn’t seem to fit.

    It should be cognac. But then again I’m not that great of a writer.

  63. OH Bill! Hey! Ya’ll this guy is a brilliant writer.

    go check out his blog. I hope you don’t mind that I blogrolled you Bill. As a refined Texas woman, I usually ask permission first, but I do so love yo blog that I thought…screw it.

  64. I blogrolled you without asking so it’s cool. I’m really flattered. Your pilot error post made me choke it was so funny.

  65. I am drinking cheap wine from the bottle, reading all your blogrolls, archives, and X-entertainment.com tonight.

    Home is West Palm but the old lady lives in Augusta as a sports anchor. So I’m all over really.

  66. is it mornign yit/ lala Nate left us withoot sayin gudnite[[ til him i sed gudnite,tawkk lader.

  67. You are not Laurie. I’ve been reading your blog and there is no way old ladies can write about things I relate to everyday of my life. It is the funniest stuff I have ever read.

  68. Laurie you did! Stars aligned just right that night.

    I’m reading Greg”s blog and of course it is aces as well.

  69. Wow, I am really flattered.

    You should get back on air but on XM so I can get it in FL. Radio here sucks except for ManCow but he makes me nervous with his ADD rants. I stick with Neil Bortz. Rather listen to you and Greg.

  70. I know Neil. I hired him (well his agent actually for him to run syndiated) to do mid mornings at my old station. I’ve met him several times.

    real piece of work for a devout libertarian

  71. chuck is from Minnysooooodaaaaaaa. isn’t that where cousin Mike lived for so many years?? before he went somewhere else? what??? who said that?

  72. Key, please check out Billy’s blog veggiemacabre. Brilliant and Greg is another gifted Houstonian who’s a real sweetheart.

    Chuck is from Minnesota and a talented writer and PR guy

    Kathy is my very drunk sister

  73. this is like taxicab confessions. I’m waiting for the two lesbians in the back to start making out. I’ll be the dirty cab driver.

  74. just wait till thanksgiving. remember kathy i have new white carpet in the bedroom you will be in.

  75. well, actually i voluntarily quit after football season because i had a controlling boyfriend who didnt want me to try out in the first place

  76. billy, billy bo dilly banana fana fo filly fe fi fo filly
    key key bo be banana fana fo fey fe fi fo fe keywork
    grag grag fo fag banana fana fo fag fe fi fo fog grag
    karol karol fo farol banana fana fo farol fe fi fo farol karol
    altogether now———–…….0000998878phpogjgkididpf

  77. chcuck chuck for fuck banana fana fo fuck fe fi fo fuck icheckie chuckster chickchcuk upchuck

  78. racconns always wash the things they are about to eat, don;t they>>>>>little masks and tiny little finger like things that look like hands-weird looking little boogers-they do look like half and half things

  79. almost returned to the scene of the crime tonight, sisters. virg wanted to dine at the infamous CREEK.

  80. Bill, I’m sorry you’re meeting my family under these circumstances. I want you to know that ordinarily, we are a kind, educated bunch with a weakness for the drink…and other shit.

    Like Chuck, please drink heavily NOW so by tomorrow, you too will have forgotten what happened tonight.

  81. no not at the creek. they had a notice on the door that prohibited short, drunk women from entering that establishment.

  82. beto wanted to take the conference table out and put in metal tables that have the word TECATE written on top

  83. Karol are you staying on? I have been on this stupid computer since 7 funcking oclock. I’m typing the keys with a straw in my mouth cause my carpal tunnell is killing me.

  84. That imagery was a but much. Kathy being so drunk and carpal tunneled out that she was hitting the keyboard with a straw in her mouth

    Like Stephen Hawking. God that’s funny. I soiled myself laughing on that one.

  85. Laurie, I’m out. However, that horse comment coming from you is like this:
    Pot: Kettle?
    Kettle: Yes, Pot?
    Pot: You’re black.

  86. Greg, thanks for the Deezer link! I’m rocking Led Zep one for the first time in 15 years.

  87. HOLY CRAP! You should win just on comments alone! I casted my vote just now after seeing a plug on Ration’s blog. Congrats! And may I kiss some arse by saying well-deserved.

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