Morty Solomon is an extremely modest man. He’s rarely ever worn shorts much less gone naked for any lengthy amount of time —even in the privacy of his own home!
But one day, Morty felt ill. His doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so he suggested that Morty check into the hospital for a series of tests.
Morty did as he was told and upon checking in, was immediately taken to the clinic for a barrage of tests. He had to drink Barium for one test in particular and boy, did THAT make poor Morty even sicker!!! He was allergic to the stuff and it affected just about every part of his body…heavy emphasis on his excretory system.
Hours later, Morty experienced hell on Earth. He was back in his room, safely in bed but he was in dire pain. His stomach cramped, he could feel his lower intestinal tract spasm and the pain was intense. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed in bed.
Alas…it was not.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea that went to all four corners of his bed. Morty was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. He didn’t want to call a nurse, but he knew he couldn’t stay in a bed filled with his own feces.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
Well, as it happened, a drunk was staggering by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off or him. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who’d watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, ‘What the heck is going on here?’
The drunk, still staring down replied: ‘I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!!”’