I’m taking a day off from politicking for Keywork, the Political Coondidate to get a much needed education.
I’m targeting this post at you, men. I’m writing it because of you, with the hopes that I, along with some of my metaphorical sisters, will get a better understanding of just what makes you tick.
Because I’ll admit it, I don’t understand you and your…your manly ways. You confound me and bemuse me. I want to understand you. I want to comprehend you. Because before I enter the last half of my life (assuming I’ll live to be 100) I want to fall in love with one of you.
And beyond that, I want to stay in love with you. Admittedly, that’s something that’s always eluded me.
Both of us always left me first.
Don’t worry—you read that right.
So, if you would please gentlemen, school me. Educated me and my female readers. I want you to read the following scenarios and please explain them to me..to us in the comments section of this post. Answer just one…answer all of them. Go long, go short–I don’t care, just please help women...ME... understand. Some of these scenarios have actually happened to me; some have happened to friends….some, I’m just damned curious about.
And no, I’m not trying to lump all men in one category. I KNOW you’re all different, but what I’m looking for is the male perspective, a man’s explanation of some or all of these scenarios.
Thank you for your honesty and for your participation. I ONLY want men to respond to this, please!!
The relationship is new…a few months old. Things are going along fine and then all of a sudden, in the time it takes to flip a light on or off at the switch, the guy starts to back off. Suddenly, he’s too busy. Suddenly, he’s not feeling well. Conversations decrease and when you do talk, the quality of the conversations has declined as well. So, the woman asks what’s wrong? She says she knows the dynamic of the relationship has changed for reasons she’s not aware. His reply is, “Nothing is wrong, I’m just incredibly busy”. The woman knows this is BS and few days later volunteers to “back off”. The guy says “no, don’t do that” but doesn’t change his ways and the relationship continues to deteriorate.
Please explain the inexplicable “backing off”? And if the reality of this situation is “he’s just not that into you” fine, but then why didn’t he end the relationship end when the woman proposed ending it? If he wasn’t willing to go forward with the relationship–if his feelings changed for whatever reason, why didn’t he just end it himself as opposed to allowing it to deteriorate to the point of no return?
If a guy says he’s “too busy”, that’s just an excuse, isn’t it? If there were real feelings, real emotion, a guy would never be too busy, right? He’d find a way to be with her, spend time with her, etc.
The relationship is still relatively new. You’re getting your bearing around each other and those that must formulate when you’re NOT around each other. They guy insists on bringing up old relationships and women from his past that are suddenly still interested in him. There seems to be a new woman interested every day. She’s expressed to him that she doesn’t care to hear about who he was involved with in the past because that’s what it was….the past. Besides, it upsets her because there seems to be an old interest returning everyday. He know how she feels, yet he keeps bringing it up under the guise that he wants to be completely honest. Yet his “honesty” hurts her feelings.
What’s really going on here? Is there a psychological “need” to see her react? What is his point— what is he getting out of conveying these things to her when she’s asked him repeatedly to refrain from telling her anything?
Why is it, that when you’re not feeling well or your a bit depressed, do you need to be alone? You yell at us for “hovering”. If it’s in the male psychopathy–your hardwiring, so to speak, to go dark and distance in times of tumult…and it is OUR nature to hover during these times, what’s the best way in your opinion, to resolve the problem and meet each other halfway?
Cheating. If you are cheating or have cheated or thinking about it, please tell me why. What prompted it? What kept you doing it and if you stopped cheating, how did it make you feel? Did you feel justified in doing it? If so, why? I want your honesty, please.
If someone cheats once, should that be written off as a mere mistake, in spite of the vows or in spite of the commitment? Once a cheat, always a cheat???
When is it the woman’s fault? When is it the man’s fault? Can the couple fail themselves?
What do you really want in a heterosexual relationship? I mean what do you “really” want? Don’t give me fantasy about a 21 year old gorgeous hard body, I want reality. Tell me about the personality she’ll have…her , character, values, commonalities. Is formal education important? What about shared religious background, ethnicity? I understand that all answers will be different. What one man find attractive, another man won’t. Even with that said, I want to know. What do you find attractive? And what keeps you attracted to her? What keeps you faithful?
Lastly, is forever a realistic expectation? I’m saddened to think that long ago…back in 1973, I was force fed a hefty dose of reality when I learned that “forever” was a lovely, but unattainable concept.
Again, MALE RESPONDENTS ONLY!!
This post will remain up through the weekend.