Well, as if Hallmark wasn’t raking in the dough with specialty cards for the weirdest things, such as “Gravel Pit Appreciation Day” and the always popular, “Smile! You could be in Darfur!” money holder, I just find out that this week is “Singles Week”.
And yes, I’m sure there are cards for the occasion.
What is “Single’s Week” all about anyway???
I guess if any one of America’s 28-million single adults exits his/her recently moved into the “I’m-newly-separated” apartment this week and sees his or her shadow, it’ll mean six more weeks of that vile Ben Affleck celluloid snooze fest, “Forces of Nature” playing round the clock on one of the Cinemaxes.
So, the yeahoos at Yahoo have commemorated the week by publishing ten reasons why “IT’S GREAT TO BE SINGLE”.
1. You can make last minute plans and stay out all night.
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and have all the covers to yourself.
3. You can flirt without someone saying, “Who are you looking at?”
4. You can make your own decisions.
5. You don’t have to remember your significant other’s birthday.
6. You have no one to clean up after.
7. You can leave the toilet seat up or down (your gender will determine the direction)
8. You do what you want, when you want.
9. You can listen to your favorite radio station in the car–and sing along as loudly as you want to.
10. You can actually hold on to the remote control.
A little lame? Sure. Simple? Completely, but also fairly accurate. Most of these hit the single nail on the head.
Therefore, the person who disagrees with this list must be wrong. That means he or she drinks lukewarm grape Ne-Hi soda while eating nasty egg salad sandwiches AND collects framed K-Mart posters of ducks in blue gingham bonnets and considers it high art.
REALITY CHECK: Of course, there are advantages to being single. There are pluses to being married. There are also downsides to both. It’s all a matter of perspective.
I’ve never been married and haven’t been involved in a real, committed relationship for almost five years now. I’ve convinced myself that I ‘needed’ this emotional down time and in a way, I have needed it. And in another way, I’ve used it. I have to admit that I’ve used it to deflect the possibility of another relationship. That not only keeps others out, but can keep you in. When it comes to what motivates us, fear can often play a role larger and more pivotal than pain.
More on those emotional maladies in another post.
Suffice it to say that I AM OK.
Yes, there are times when I feel “awkwardly single”. That sentiment usually coincides with the major holidays when one is automatically rendered insignificant brine shrimp in a sea of paired up langostino. It doesn’t matter that most of the Hims and Hers who comprise the coupledom surrounding you are completely miserable and the concept of marriage bores them both to the point of voting for Kucinich.
That doesn’t matter in the least.
This is how it is on Planet Laurie: you can be alone and not be lonely. And at the same time, you can be in a relationship with someone sitting less than 10-feet from you and at that moment, experience more gut wrenching isolation than you ever have in your life.
I think one of the first lines of defense in combating this, is learning to be OK in your own skin; we must be content with being alone and when appropriate, we must be able to fulfill our own wants and needs–this applies to everyone, single and otherwise. We’re responsible for our own happiness. The minute you hand over the reigns of your life to someone else, you’ve lost the game. Never do that.
There’s nothing wrong with a little solitude. It’s educational…IF you allow it to be. You can learn an amazing amount about yourself; such as realizing strengths you never knew you had.
This might seem odd, but I have no problem going to a movie by myself or going to dinner all alone. And no, I’m not talking about the drive through at the Burger Czar— -I’m talking about dining at a nice, white linen napkin kind of establishment.
Some people seem to find that off putting. I get the weirdest looks from other diners while when I walk into a restaurant on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon. It’s a furrowed brow and raised eyebrow’s worth of sympathy, pity and a little suspicion.
The fact of the matter is, I don’t mind being alone with myself. I’m OK with being Laurie; being with me. Sure, I’m a lousy kisser and rarely put out, but I’m an alright date. The best part about this is that I’ve evolved into this woman. I wasn’t always this content to be by myself. But I now like me more than I ever have. I’m perfect company. And while I don’t prefer my solitude, I want to hammer home the point that I’m OK with it. Everyone should be.
Nothing is sadder and more pathetic than the desperate co-dependent. This is the person who deems her own reflection to be the enemy. Tragic.
As a single person, yes, it’s true— I have certain freedoms my married or invovled counterparts don’t have. I have me as my sole responsibility. My decisions are my own. And furthermore, I have things in my house just the way I like them. I buy my favorite food; my favorite drinks and consume them where and when I want and as much as I want.
I can take my time in the shower and use up all the hot water.
But my married/involved counterparts have one thing I don’t have— someone to scrub my back in the tub.
Ah, sweet misery of Life.
We want what we can’t have and sometimes we have what we don’t want.
Well then, I guess this must mean I disagree with the Yahoo list. Oh damn the dreaded aquiescence!!!
If you’ll excuse me, I must go now.
I have K-MART art to hang, a Ne-Hi Grape Soda to chug back and I gotta eat a nasty egg salad sandwich which I know I’ll eventually throw up.