OK…I know you’ve seen these things before and I know there’s a mathematical explanation but because I really “did the 70’s and most of the 80’s”, I no longer possess the analytical skills and/or the patience to try and figure this out, so let’s take a second look at the “Ghost Whisperer/Crystal Ball”.

It’s that website that’s made the Internet and e-mail rounds before. Oh, you know the one? It’s supposed be “magic” and able to “read your mind”? Someone sent me a version this afternoon and I’ve been entertaining myself all day long. It’s never wrong! Amazing!!

It helped me quash the need to binge eat…watch porn..AND enabled me to work through two panic attacks after my mother called. You *have* to check it out and I bet you can’t stop at just one try. I really don’t know how it works..math–probability and outcome–I’m not sure, but it’s fun. One more thing…I tried to fool it by choosing the same number over again for four consecutive times and each time, I was given the same symbol.

Click the link below and it’ll take you the website–follow the instructions. In short, you just pick a two digit number, add it together, then subtract something..make a wish, pull someone’s finger, blow out some candles, yank on a wishbone…say an incantation, pretend your Agnes Moorehead dressed like George Sand (Anyone get* that *Sapphic reference? Huh? Anyone) then you check a side panel for a particular shape. Mind numbing and mind boggling at the same time.

“*What a vas deferens Paul Lynde made in Hollywood!”*

But I digress…

Don’t take my word for it; try it yourself. Just clink the link below. Again, I know there’s something mathematical to it. If you know, please don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I still want to believe the magic. If you tell me, you’ll ruin it for me….and I’d rather watch an all Philippino Pygmy production of Tabori’s “Goldberg Variations ” with an audience comprised of nothing but angry, stinky, belching Lithuanian anti-Semites, all wearing “last season”….then be disappointed further.

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**SPOILER ALERT!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!**

Damn! I specifically asked NOT to have this explained to me. But like Mick Jagger once warbled, “you can’t always get what you wa-aaant”. Kari is a teacher and A BUBBLE BURSTER!! She explains below how the “Crystal Ball” works. Don’t read if you don’t want to know. Because frankly, it’s kind of a pisser once you figure it out. You’ll feel all Forrest Gumpy.

**According to Kari:**

*“The symbols in the bank change every time you play. When picking a 2-digit number, it’s represented by 10x+y (x being the first digit and y being the 2nd). When you subtract x+y from 10x+y, you get 9x. Look at all of the symbols next to multiples of 9 in the bank. They’re all the same! It will be that symbol that shows up in the ball no matter what 2-digit number you pick.”*

**Kari…**Just a humble high school math teacher

It worked for me four times in a row, which I find really creepy.

How can there be a mathematical explanation when my number is something I pick completely at random?

I don’t get it.

It isn’t that it can tell what number you choose at random…just choose any

twonumbers before you click the ball. Both your icons will be the same.They just change every time you reload it to keep you guessing.

But yes, it’s still creepy.

“Agnes Moorehead dressed like George Sand”– That line made me wetter than Rosie O’Donnell sitting under a Pussywillow…at the Dinah Shore Invitational. Listening to k.d. lang on her IPod.

Sorry, I was getting in touch with my feminine side– which likes to wear flannel and work on cars.

That’s rad!

You should have made people do favors for you before telling them the answer 🙂

Now I get it. *Slaps own head*

So much for all that ghosty religious stuff. Math and science have won the day. Hooray atheism.

This thing was pissing me off because I was looking at the symbol first and it never matched. Guess I should have read the answer first.