Who Am I?
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I’m Laurie Kendrick.
You might remember me from my appearances in 
anti-sexual harrassment training films such as “Hey, Is that Your Nipple?” along with, “You Gonna Eat All That Because My Mama Was Wrong! It Kinda Actually Tastes Like Chicken?” and my most famous soft porn film from the early 80’s, “Rubick’s Pube”.
I’ve put my acting career on hold and tried TV and radio, but since both mediums are dying, I’ve taken up researching various stool softeners.
Other than that, I’m unattached and unamused by that fact. Still, my vision quest for a suitable mate persists. As my photo above indicates, I’m still a great piece for a very sun-damaged 32 year old career woman. I’m also a writer and have been identified as a white female last seen driving west on Interstate 10.
My turn-ons include puppy breath, walking on the beach at dusk, the smell of freshly mowed grass and of course, a daily BM.
I started this blog in late March of 2007 with the hopes that I might be able to force feed my bullshit opinions and my own brand of obstreperosity down your throat. Well, look at my stats!!! So far so good! It’s a numbers game bitches and my stats prompt me to ask, could well over half a million tummies full of my inflicted narcissism, hyperbolic prolix and pretense be wrong????
I think not.
Oh, and feel free to email me. I welcome reasoned…I said “reasoned” responses.
“Email: Ask for it by name”. (May cause rectal bleeding)
lauriekendrick at aol dot com
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LAUR! you need to email me!
we need to talk. i miss you incredibly. and i dont like not having someone make me laugh everyday..? so what the hell?
oh p.s. im gonna start applying to colleges in TX! woo!
love!
oh p.s. this is my email..
lil_pixie_spikes@hotmail.com
lame right? thats from like 5th grade.
Oh Hai Laurie!
Who am I, you ask? I am Rick W’s greg, let free from the basement for a moment to reason
& discourse with the populace. R finally got around to putting a link up, so I thought I’d pay a visit, and see the font from which the humor flows. Digging it already!
Girl your blog is hilarioius! I swear you need to put this stuff in books! Even come out with your own line of bumper stickers and greeting cards. I know it sounds corny-but you need to be making money doing this, because you are so gifted in this and it’s what you love to do. So why not turn something you love to do for free into something you love doing for $$$!!! Think about it woman! Why not?
My first time here and I’ve decided I love you and want to have your babies.
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Stellar choice, Ms. Bailey. You may be the erstwhile pack mule of my seed. Besides, I’m older than you and my bitter, angst-ridden ovaries are only producing powdered eggs at this juncture.
Welcome to my blog. I am esteemed to be included in your stable. I like your spunk…and not in an Ellen Degeneris kind of way. Your multi-faceted cumpulsions are always welcome here.
Come for the entertainment, stay for the fried chicken.
LK
facebook–Patty Schwenger–not my real name. You are fantastic but your blog takes forever to load. Just had to tell you that I am short–5 foot nothing–like to eat–have a bad diverticulosis condition so a timely BM is so important and I am 62 years old. I am still teaching in a public elementary school but I hope it to be my last. I gave a child up for adoption and have reunited with her for 5 years now. Just had my fourth grandchild. I also have a son–not married and a husband that smokes and weighs a lot less than I do. The main reason I am writing is this Labor Day and wearing white thing that is so ingrained in me as well even though I grew up in South Jersey–we are so totally different than North Jersey. I bought one of those tiered crinkled skirts off of the sale rack. The colors were just perfect but the background was white and I wanted to wear it to school. So I resorted to my trick of staining it with tea in a big pot. It was good but still a little summery. Then I found an old box of Rit Dye and over-did it. It became a very subdued fall print and it lost its vibrancy. So I went back and bought the same skirt and I will wear it as is but then I also have my fall skirt as well.
Laurie! I found you through Sher. Dare I say you are brilliant? Sher and I, along with our friend Kristi (feel free to refer to us as the unhloly trinity) have a blog as well. We’d love for you to contribute to ours sometime, should you have the inclination.
Best,
Ryland
I too found you via our “Sher” and I’m so glad I came for the visit. You are one hysterical lady. Keep spreading your joy to the rest of us.
Many thanks,
Carol
Saw your comments on Sher’s blog and clicked on your name. Here’s where I wound up. Hilarious! I love your wickedly irreverent sense of humor.
Oh, and if this site is not supposed to be funny, well, please ignore the above including my name. I sure hope you won’t kick my ass or something…
Count mine as a tummy at least partially filled with your narcisism (and loving every minute of it).
I just stumbled across your blog while searching for a picture of a badger, and I have to tell you that you’re frickin’ hilarious! I’m talkin’ HYSTERICALLY hilarious.
What — like you’ve never had anybody stumble across your blog while looking for a picture of a badger before?
Laurie, it’s been many years, my friend. I see your sense of humor has not faded with time. May your beauty shine just as brightly. I’ll continue to check in and read your posts. In the meantime, drop me an email. Let’s re-acquaint.
leanniv@comcast.net
To see what I’ve been doing lately, check out the website Richard set up for me last summer:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/leannvaldez
Surely with a fun personality like yours you should have quite a few men wanting to be your mate and friend. That is until they see your apartment……
Laurie- I look forward to hearing your glorious pipes again on the Houston airwaves. Say hello when you have time and let me know where you are going to land on the air!
David
Dear Ms. Kendrick,
Yours is, without a doubt, the most incredible blog I have ever read. I just finished reading every word, which was no small task, and I must say that I am simply beyond impressed.
I’m also fully, completely and madly in love with you after reading your incredibly eloquent words. Oh don’t worry — I’m happily married, but I just had to stop by to say…
You are AMAZING!
Paul